10 month old DH said i am being lazy.

Sounds like a lovely routine that works for both of you. Well done for taking some time to fill your own cup and teaching DD independence and giving her the chance to explore and create her own play.

That’s exactly what it is.

How dare you allow a child to play happily on their own?
Do you know how dangerous it is having a content child learning how to be independent?
😂😂

OP ignore the negativity on here.
You are doing fine.

There was a thread yesterday about an OP with a very clingy baby where she was struggling to cook or clean and everyone told her to put the baby in a playpen or high chair.

I think it sounds like a wonderful routine and you and baby obviously enjoy your morning routine and so why change it.

I assume DH takes the baby on weekends and his AL, so how does he do things differently?

This is literally what I do with my 10 month old! It's a lovely time with lots of breaks - I also do creative things I like to do (reading/writing/drawing) while she plays happily in the playpen or crawls around me. It's not lazy at all OP - being "on" constantly with a baby is exhausting! And your baby sounds happy

Some people just can’t handle the idea of a women not being at everyone’s beck and call 24/7 can they? 😂

He’s wrong. There is no reason that children must be constantly held or entertained. She’s being looked after, she’s being fed and she has her toys. If you are enjoying your coffee with the tv on while she’s playing then that’s fine too.

I would tell him to keep his judgment to himself and if he cannot be kind to you through the day then to go back to the office. Alternatively, you go back to work and he can hire a nanny he instructs, a cook and a cleaner that he instructs and when he sees the eye watering cost of that he will likely shut up.

I don't see the problem here. All you are doing is having a little bit of downtime in the morning before the rest of your day which is busy with activity. It's hard being a parent and are you the one that gets up in the night if needed or does he?

Perhaps you need to go away away for a couple of days and leave him to it and see how he gets on!

The comparison between 2 children based solely on screen time is spurious because there are so many other factors at play in how a child is developing.
We all know too much screen time is bad for everyone but parental attitudes and what else is going on for a child will shape their behaviour and development to a far greater extent overall.

Only you will know how long your baby is in the playpen and how long you are watching TV whilst they are in it.
I say this as some of your posts are a bit contradictory. Some posts say she is only in the pen for half an hour to an hour .
Then you say if not walks or so on you sometimes go into the playpen with her to play during the day. I would bring her out of her pen to play with her. Not go into it with her.

You sound like a brilliant mum.
It would be interesting to find out how your husband would deal with full time child care

A baby plonked in a playpen in front of a TV for an hour is pretty shit.

However, many have to do this to get housework done.

If plenty of other activities go on for the rest of the day, it balances out.

Bloody hell. She's having a litttle "Me time" before the day really gets going. Calling other parents lazy is a crappy thing to do, especially in a situation like this. It's a cup of coffee and a little chill out. The husband is also an arse for calling the poster lazy. I'd love to know what his input is. I think this poster knows what does and doesn't work for her, her baby and their routine. She wasn't asking if random women on the internet think she's lazy, she's basically asking "Is my husband a self-righteous arse?" And the answer is - yes, he is!

I quite agree. She doesn't need coffee either. Such decadence should always be discouraged.

Maybe her child doesn’t happily play 🤷🏻‍♀️

Neither of mine were that easy to please at that age tbh 😂😂

I doubt it. Mumsnet has this strange contingent of pretend perfect mother keyboard warriors. They probably aren’t even mothers tbf.

Who on earth would think there is an issue with chilling with a coffee while baby’s happily playing? Utterly bizarre.

But the DH is a dick, that is a problem.

What would you do for half hour whilst your child is happily playing independently?

What does your dh do? I’d be offering him some advice every night on things he should do at work then saying well if you can judge my parenting despite having never done more than an hour then I’m completely qualified to tell you what to do in your job, we can both be just as judgey as each other.

Sounds like more time with baby WHILE getting stuff done is needed for him. No rests or breaks for him this weekend without a ‘umm- the newspaper/cricket? Really? Your daughter is right there, don’t you think that’s lazy parenting?’ When these men are so casually judgey they really need don’t be an asshole hammered home repeatedly with a big hammer. Go out and let him cook dinner with dd. Say I’ll be back for dinner, enjoy.

Ignore the miseries calling you lazy. Good god the world is judgy if you are not a morning person. I hate mornings! I am a definite night owl!
My son used to go in a bouncer for 30-40 minutes every morning whilst I had tea and toast and read my book or scrolled my phone by which point I was much more ready to parent enthusiastically.
There is bad screen time and a lot of children are having way too much from a young age but miss Rachel whilst you cook dinner is totally fine, ignore the drama lama's (just don't give in to throwing phones/tablets at them when you are out and about and they should be interacting with the world around them)
Independent play is very important, mummy getting some downtime to relax is very important. Everything is balanced and your routine sounds just fine.
(Mummy of 2, teacher of 20yrs, just finishing a degree is psychology and child studies...the current block focusing on "intense parenting" that is now expected, mostly of mums. "Good enough parenting" is no suprise...good enough. Helicopter parents raise anxious kids)

Good grief there are some sanctimonious mums on here.
Absolutely! There’s some competitive one up man ship on this thread. No wonder mums feel shit about themselves.

’Gentle nursery rhymes’ made me laugh. My kids have seen me dance and sing along to heavy metal, rap, pop, all sorts of stuff. The Greatest showman soundtrack was a bathtime favourite.

It does sound quite a lot of tv/screen for a baby. I’d ditch the screen and pop music or a story on. Nothing wrong with independent play.

He asked was mummy having a day off and that the play pen isnt for me watching TV and that im being lazy

The criticism about you pulling your weight etc may or may not be valid (doesn’t sound valid to me) but if he really spoke to you in thise terms I’d be getting divorce. Sounds like language a rude employer would use to a employee/servant.

Agree with your DH, very lazy. Why have a child at all if you’re not prepared to devote yourself to them? You should be interacting with them at all times with the exception of toilet breaks (but try to limit those), showering if you absolutely have to and keep it to a quick rinse so you can get straight back to baby, that kind of thing

It does seem a bit lazy 😂 but inherently nothing wrong I guess, as long as she’s not yet hungry for breakfast (has had milk) and isn’t watching the TV herself. I would limit the time to 30 mins though as it must be a bit boring for her.

get a jumperoo, aka the circle of neglect. This was an absolute game changer for me, letting them tire themselves out whilst I pottered or had a coffee. Was gutted when they got too big for it.

Go away for a weekend and leave DD with DH. He will have less opinions after that, and nothing wrong with having a coffee while baby plays safely. A half an hour in the playpen is fine and mums need a break. Next time he makes a comment tell him he is welcome to take over and walk out of the house. He will learn to keep his gob shut!