10 month old DH said i am being lazy.

@ILoveFatFaceSocks

Enjoy your Eastenders OP and ignore anyone who tries to make you feel guilty. Fuck them. I have contemplated starting to watch Eastenders again solely because of Ravi as he is so hot 🥵

I see no problem with this, it's totally normal. I never had a playpen but with both my kids I would shut the living room door and let them wander around and play while I sat with them and had my breakfast. Usually I watched morning TV! They are teenagers now and I can confirm have suffered no ill effects as a result of such lax parenting . If your DH has a problem with this I assume he must be setting an excellent example of constant interaction every time he looks after your baby?

Yet you have time for MN

Personally I think it sounds incredibly lazy, but it's not the playpen part only, it's the TV part. Never in my life have I sat around watching TV during the daytime, there is always so much to do - TV is an evening relaxation or treat for me.

The idea that husband is working, and wife lolling around watching TV, not for 5 mins but for up to an hour, to me is quite shocking. I have also had 3 under 5.
I am very surprised that she plays on her own for that long, in my experience it was only a few minutes. But also, surprised that you manage to do all the tidying and cleaning in the house, look after your child as well as you can, do any shopping and errands, etc etc - and still have time to watch an hour of TV.

So he’s had her 3 times for a couple of hours.. once every 3 months. Wow. Every teacher, coach, tutor, even my friends parents spent way more time than that with me growing up. Op, tell him you’re going out on the weekend and there are to be no questions while you’re out unless he thinks she’s actually sick or hurt. Tell him he’s full of opinions and advice for you so time for him to put some actual parenting time in. This isn’t going to get any better until you really tell him to pull his head in until he has a basic level of parenting competence, which at his current time input will take about 25 years and she will have left home.

Go out for the day. Don’t reply to messages about naps, lunches etc. He can figure it out.

He has had her 3 times for a couple of hours... he's her Dad, she's 10 months. You do realise what you've said... every 3 months he has her for a couple of hours 🙄

Prize Dad there

Fuck his opinions in the bin!

@Disco2022 has nailed it, in the very first response.

@ILoveFatFaceSocks - Ewing a mum is bloody hard work, especially as the child gets more mobile, so taking the opportunity for a cup of coffee that is actually hot, and a few moments rest, is the sensible thing to do.

Sounds like he's swallowed some sort of Baby Manual.

He has has her 3 times for more than a couple of hours.

She’s 10 months old. He should be able to look after her for a morning or afternoon. Stand up for yourself OP.

Is there still a possibility of him taking SPL? Some extended time solo parenting can work wonders for attitudes like his. My guess is he’s read all the blogs, but hasn’t realised babies don’t give a shit about the latest parenting idea.

It's great that she's happy in her playpen (mine wouldn't have been). I don't see the issue at all - if she's happy to play independently that's good for her - you need balance in your day and if you have that it's easier the rest of the day.

Does your DH able to look after her and give her his full attention all the time including through the night. He is just being a judgemental idiot I think.

In my experience it’s much less stressful and tiring working full time with a baby in nursery than being a full time mum at home. Being a SAHM was really exhausting and often isolating - for me, we’re all different and some people have support from relatives, others don’t.
I’ve done both. Both are rewarding in different ways.
You are allowed to have a coffee, food, go to the toilet, relax for a bit whenever you have a moment and having your morning moment is fine, there is nothing wrong with your routine.
You do lovely things with your DD.
I would be very upset if my DH had said that to me.

OP you sound like a fab normal mum.

Have you ever watched motherland? I find it so accurate, especially with how judgemental the perfect mums are- everyone mums slightly differently but I think its about balance and real life living.

Having a child that can't play independently because they are used to mum constantly engaging with them is a nightmare (from experience) so its great if baby is happy playing alone. I dont get why a playpen is any diffwrent to being on the floor so not sure everyone is getting so worked up about it? I used walkers and bouncers with my toddler and will when my next is older enough. I also find cooking with free roaming babies incredibly irritating and dangerous so if they want a bit of downtime watching TV thats fine.

Enjoy your cuppa and tv that sounds amazing! I definitely didnt do enough self care or rest and burnt out. I also dont really see the big deal with tv being on either, people have taken the fear of screens to a crazy level.

He’s a sanctimonious idiot. If he’s so great he can look after her this weekend.

Your tone is fine.

What is your husband doing today?

Is DH doing enough? If he doesn't get why you might need a break. Time for him to have baby for a whole day? And this may be petty but I'd be calling him lazy every time he appears during the working day when he's working from home.