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Original poster

To tell/not tell family after cousin hit BF with scooter? Both don’t want me to

420 replies

Zanygreenan · 10/04/2026 20:25

I’m 21, my mum and dad are in Cancun this week for their 25th anniversary so I’m home alone this week. I invited my boyfriend, 23, round for a stopover tonight for a bit of company and my little cousin, 9, who lives on our estate one street away, popped in whilst playing out on his scooter with a friend.

We were sitting in the garden and my cousin was sat in a seat and got up for a drink and my BF sat in his seat whilst he was gone. Cousin asked him to move and BF refused and telling cousin and his friend to play somewhere else (with a mean tone). Cousin was angry that he refused to move and then hit BF in the face with his scooter. BF fell back out of the chair and then cousin hit him once more with the scooter and stamped on his wrist. I then managed to pull cousin off him and sent him in the house. Then I rinsed off the blood from BF’s face and then he sat down in the conservatory.

He has a massive headache and can’t move his wrist. BF doesn’t want anyone to know about the interaction and doesn’t want to go to hospital but he may have broken his wrist so I suggested it would be best to pop into A&E to check? Cousin has asked me not to say anything to his mum (my aunt) or my mum because he doesn’t want to get into trouble considering that he has already had a fight at school last year. Cousin is a nice boy overall but he doesn’t react well to confrontation and gets aggressive quickly and BF’s attitude towards him this afternoon topped him over the edge.

My aunt has just text me asking to walk cousin back to theirs as it’s starting to get dark out. I don’t know what to do as cousin is begging me not to say anything and BF also doesn’t want me to say anything either but if I don’t say anything it’ll look bad on me when eventually when his and my parents find out. I just feel like I’m stuck in the middle of an awkward situation.

What should I do?

OP posts:
AlexStocks · 11/04/2026 20:47

Oh God. No one needs to keep this child's secrets. They need consequences and to know you aren't enabling their crap.

Droplet789 · 11/04/2026 20:46

That’s crazy. Your cousin is going to have serious issues. You absolutely need to tell his mum to get him some anger management help.

TheCheekyCyanHelper · 11/04/2026 20:44

EstrellaPolar · 10/04/2026 22:48

OP, you’re still so young. Please don’t stay with your boyfriend if he has anger issues, just because he can be nice also.

Some people aren’t a “child person”, but they should definitely be a “people person” in all social situations and manage their emotions regardless of the ages of those around them. Even if your boyfriend isn’t great with kids, there is absolutely no reason why he should be rude or mean to them…

Exactly what anger issues are you talking about??? Refusing to leave a chair???

TheCheekyCyanHelper · 11/04/2026 20:43

Liveshives · 10/04/2026 22:10

Your cousin is a thug, a 9 year old one.
Your boyfriend isn't nice at all.

Your judgement is so seriously flawed on both counts.

All he did was not get out of a chair!!! That doesn't make him a dick!

blenny23 · 11/04/2026 20:42

Zanygreenan · 10/04/2026 20:25

I’m 21, my mum and dad are in Cancun this week for their 25th anniversary so I’m home alone this week. I invited my boyfriend, 23, round for a stopover tonight for a bit of company and my little cousin, 9, who lives on our estate one street away, popped in whilst playing out on his scooter with a friend.

We were sitting in the garden and my cousin was sat in a seat and got up for a drink and my BF sat in his seat whilst he was gone. Cousin asked him to move and BF refused and telling cousin and his friend to play somewhere else (with a mean tone). Cousin was angry that he refused to move and then hit BF in the face with his scooter. BF fell back out of the chair and then cousin hit him once more with the scooter and stamped on his wrist. I then managed to pull cousin off him and sent him in the house. Then I rinsed off the blood from BF’s face and then he sat down in the conservatory.

He has a massive headache and can’t move his wrist. BF doesn’t want anyone to know about the interaction and doesn’t want to go to hospital but he may have broken his wrist so I suggested it would be best to pop into A&E to check? Cousin has asked me not to say anything to his mum (my aunt) or my mum because he doesn’t want to get into trouble considering that he has already had a fight at school last year. Cousin is a nice boy overall but he doesn’t react well to confrontation and gets aggressive quickly and BF’s attitude towards him this afternoon topped him over the edge.

My aunt has just text me asking to walk cousin back to theirs as it’s starting to get dark out. I don’t know what to do as cousin is begging me not to say anything and BF also doesn’t want me to say anything either but if I don’t say anything it’ll look bad on me when eventually when his and my parents find out. I just feel like I’m stuck in the middle of an awkward situation.

What should I do?

Your boyfriend’s an AH for stealing your cousin’s seat and speaking to him that way.

But that doesn’t excuse your cousin’s behaviour. His parents absolutely need to know.

And yes take your boyfriend to A&E because it’s not a good sign that he can’t move his wrist, and if it’s broken and heals wrong he’s in for a lifetime of issues with it.

OneSparklyWasp · 11/04/2026 20:42

This is a major safeguarding issue. The boy is 9 & still at primary school. No one has the right to keep information from the parents about anything concerning their child. Head & teacher need to be informed too via the parents. Imagine if this child used a chair at school over the head of a class mate & then stamped on them? Imagine the parents THEN finding out he'd done something similar to a family friend? There is no room for secrecy where a child is concerned, everyone, he included needs to be safeguarded.

Imisssleep88 · 11/04/2026 20:41

You need to tell his parents, in know your BF is probably embarrassed about being beaten up by a 9 year old but he's 9! This is in no way okay for any age, but if he is doing this now what is he going to be doing in 3,5 or ten years, he is only likely to get worse without help.

Stormyyy · 11/04/2026 20:36

SnakesandKnives · 11/04/2026 20:35

I’m most shocked by the victim blaming on this thread. Fucking disgraceful

when he goes on to smash up some girl who turns him down I’m sure you’ll all be saying she shouldn’t have been mean to him and not said yes

genuinely appalled by a lot of the responses on here simply because he’s a child

I know! Many scorned women on here will always find a way to hate or blame the man in any situation. Quite frankly is desperate and pathetic.

NotThisShitAgain121 · 11/04/2026 20:35

Err seriously. Tell your Aunt!

SnakesandKnives · 11/04/2026 20:35

I’m most shocked by the victim blaming on this thread. Fucking disgraceful

when he goes on to smash up some girl who turns him down I’m sure you’ll all be saying she shouldn’t have been mean to him and not said yes

genuinely appalled by a lot of the responses on here simply because he’s a child

croydon15 · 11/04/2026 20:34

Your cousin is certainly not lovely child, you are making excuses for him, what if he did it to a young child and kill them or he grows into an adult that kills someone because they gave them a funny look
Your aunt needs to know and get him some help before it's too late.
Your bf needs to go to a&e to get him wrist seen to and he may also have concussion, so encourage to go to get checked.

Shessweetbutapsycho · 11/04/2026 20:32

Im genuinely shocked at how blasé the op is about her NINE YEAR OLD relative perpetrating such serious violence. Such worrying behaviour which could have easily resulted in much more serious consequences had the victim been elderly/younger/vulnerable in some way.

Speaking in a “mean tone” to [let’s face it, seemingly a little shit of] a child does not warrant being struck round the face with a scooter with enough force to knock a grown man out of his chair and then for the assault to continue on the ground. The victim was invited to spend the evening with his gf and probably didn’t appreciate being gatecrashed by her annoying little cousin and his mate. Maybe he shouldn’t have been winding the child up about which seat he was sat on, but the assault on indefensible.

As pp have said, someone also needs to make the parents of the other child aware- witnessing violence such as this is an adverse experience children need to be safeguarded against. I also hope your BF is ok.

MonteStory · 11/04/2026 20:19

OP come on. Reread your first post. You are downplaying your little cousins behaviour to a dangerous extent.

Hitting someone with a metal scooter and stamping on their wrist is absolutely unhinged behaviour. 1 year older and he could very easily find himself being prosecuted for assault. Honestly, if he’s doing this at 9 to an adult, it’s only a matter of time before he IS arrested.

Do not allow him at your house without another responsible adult present, preferably his own parents. What would you have done if he’d attacked his friend? What would BF had done if he’d attacked you? Risk being prosecuted for assaulting a child or stand back and watch while a 9 year old gives his girlfriend a head injury?

Your BF being a dick is a completely separate issue, do not allow your aunt or anyone else to use it as an excuse. If he has anger issues to this extent then he should not be playing out alone. Seriously, if he’s hits a younger child in the head with a scooter he could kill them. No single adult in this scenario is taking this seriously enough.

Your BF is embarrassed because he was hurt by a child and probably knows he was a dick. Tell him to just tell the A and E staff he fell off his bike or something - the treatment is the same.

Notasbigasithink · 11/04/2026 20:18

Zanygreenan · 10/04/2026 20:25

I’m 21, my mum and dad are in Cancun this week for their 25th anniversary so I’m home alone this week. I invited my boyfriend, 23, round for a stopover tonight for a bit of company and my little cousin, 9, who lives on our estate one street away, popped in whilst playing out on his scooter with a friend.

We were sitting in the garden and my cousin was sat in a seat and got up for a drink and my BF sat in his seat whilst he was gone. Cousin asked him to move and BF refused and telling cousin and his friend to play somewhere else (with a mean tone). Cousin was angry that he refused to move and then hit BF in the face with his scooter. BF fell back out of the chair and then cousin hit him once more with the scooter and stamped on his wrist. I then managed to pull cousin off him and sent him in the house. Then I rinsed off the blood from BF’s face and then he sat down in the conservatory.

He has a massive headache and can’t move his wrist. BF doesn’t want anyone to know about the interaction and doesn’t want to go to hospital but he may have broken his wrist so I suggested it would be best to pop into A&E to check? Cousin has asked me not to say anything to his mum (my aunt) or my mum because he doesn’t want to get into trouble considering that he has already had a fight at school last year. Cousin is a nice boy overall but he doesn’t react well to confrontation and gets aggressive quickly and BF’s attitude towards him this afternoon topped him over the edge.

My aunt has just text me asking to walk cousin back to theirs as it’s starting to get dark out. I don’t know what to do as cousin is begging me not to say anything and BF also doesn’t want me to say anything either but if I don’t say anything it’ll look bad on me when eventually when his and my parents find out. I just feel like I’m stuck in the middle of an awkward situation.

What should I do?

You tell the adults responsible for this child immediately! Of course a 9yr old doesn't want you to tell his parents ffs 🙄🙄
You are not protecting him or doing him any favours by keeping this act of violence to yourself. He needs help and ASAP, not a cover up!!!

BunnyLake · 11/04/2026 20:16

Zanygreenan · 10/04/2026 20:33

I know I should really tell her really but I don’t know what to do about BF’s injuries either as he won’t go to A+E.

Your cousin doesn’t sound like a nice boy at all. He sounds like a horrible thug. Roll on five years (or less) and I wonder what he’ll be like? (Well I don’t need to wonder too much).

Phelicity · 11/04/2026 20:12

OP, I hope that when you told your aunt what her outrageously violent son had done to your BF you didn’t make light of his actions? She needs to know the full extent of his violence, which in my opinion was unprovoked and unjustified. A “mean tone” does not justify a violent physical attack, resulting in you having to pull him off your BF.

As long as you and his family convince yourselves he’s “a nice boy”, you are heading for serious problems.

Of course the boyfriend is not “just as bad for starting it”!

When I first read this I couldn’t believe it was serious, and I’m having the same reaction to comments suggesting the boyfriend deserved any of this!

ContraryNoodle · 11/04/2026 20:10

That is most certainly not a nice boy. That level of escalation in violence is not normal!

CharlieEffie · 11/04/2026 20:09

Zanygreenan · 10/04/2026 20:25

I’m 21, my mum and dad are in Cancun this week for their 25th anniversary so I’m home alone this week. I invited my boyfriend, 23, round for a stopover tonight for a bit of company and my little cousin, 9, who lives on our estate one street away, popped in whilst playing out on his scooter with a friend.

We were sitting in the garden and my cousin was sat in a seat and got up for a drink and my BF sat in his seat whilst he was gone. Cousin asked him to move and BF refused and telling cousin and his friend to play somewhere else (with a mean tone). Cousin was angry that he refused to move and then hit BF in the face with his scooter. BF fell back out of the chair and then cousin hit him once more with the scooter and stamped on his wrist. I then managed to pull cousin off him and sent him in the house. Then I rinsed off the blood from BF’s face and then he sat down in the conservatory.

He has a massive headache and can’t move his wrist. BF doesn’t want anyone to know about the interaction and doesn’t want to go to hospital but he may have broken his wrist so I suggested it would be best to pop into A&E to check? Cousin has asked me not to say anything to his mum (my aunt) or my mum because he doesn’t want to get into trouble considering that he has already had a fight at school last year. Cousin is a nice boy overall but he doesn’t react well to confrontation and gets aggressive quickly and BF’s attitude towards him this afternoon topped him over the edge.

My aunt has just text me asking to walk cousin back to theirs as it’s starting to get dark out. I don’t know what to do as cousin is begging me not to say anything and BF also doesn’t want me to say anything either but if I don’t say anything it’ll look bad on me when eventually when his and my parents find out. I just feel like I’m stuck in the middle of an awkward situation.

What should I do?

He hit him twice in the face with a scooter because someone sat in his sit. He needs therapy. Tell his parents

BuildbyNumbere · 11/04/2026 20:07

Zanygreenan · 10/04/2026 20:33

I know I should really tell her really but I don’t know what to do about BF’s injuries either as he won’t go to A+E.

Tell her … this is ridiculous and BF is just as bad for starting it! If he doesn’t want to go A&E that’s up to him!!

Zerosleep · 11/04/2026 20:02

Smartiepants79 · 10/04/2026 20:29

So a 9 year old assaulted a grown man with his scooter and you don’t think his parents should know??
You need to tell the child’s parents.
And I’d watch your bf around kids as he did t exactly cover himself in glory either - a ‘mean tone’?? To a child?

This exactly!

OhcantthInkofaname · 11/04/2026 20:00

When I 1st read this I thought it was an accident. This wasn't an accident this child has anger issues.

MeSeM · 11/04/2026 19:50

Zanygreenan · 10/04/2026 20:33

I know I should really tell her really but I don’t know what to do about BF’s injuries either as he won’t go to A+E.

Greetings original commenter 💚
I can empathise & comprehend why you're feeling in bewilderment & I've faith you'll make the right decision ~
God bless you
In relation to your bf not going for an x-ray, it seems like he's trying to save face & doesn't wish to admit that a 9 year old Child caused this
If you could maybe try to make him see that he just needs to find out if he needs to be in plaster etc...
Put his mind at ease that it's just to see to his injury... Some years ago I had a bike accident resulting in me breaking a bone in hand. If I'd not had an x-ray I'd never have known I needed to be in plaster
Really hope your bf sees the light & if he's still being stubborn, maybe tell him it's really unfair on you, his girlfriend, to watch him suffering, left without treatment
Wishing You&Yours all the utmost very best

Coconutter24 · 11/04/2026 19:44

Zanygreenan · 10/04/2026 20:33

I know I should really tell her really but I don’t know what to do about BF’s injuries either as he won’t go to A+E.

He’s an adult and can make his own decisions

Isittimeformynapyet · 11/04/2026 19:43

Noodles1234 · 11/04/2026 19:37

  1. you need to get him to be checked over, take the lead here, yes he will groan.
  2. yes you know you need to tell your aunt, this is quite an altercation for a 9yr old and needs to be addressed as will get worse for him if not dealt with.

And you need to recognise when a thread is nearly 24 hours old.

PinkyFlamingo · 11/04/2026 19:42

Your cousin needs help before his behaviour escalates