To tell/not tell family after cousin hit BF with scooter? Both don’t want me to

I don’t know if I believe this but if it’s real it is terrifying.
It is also fucking scary that you contemplated keeping it quiet. This is not normal behaviour. Your cousin will most likely end up in prison in a few years time. He and his parents need IMMEDIATE help.

You've evidently missed the out her parts to the story then. He was also hit in the face with a metal object, and also fell back from a chair, oh and also had to have this little shit of a kid prized off him.

To anyone defending the child, that child needs psychiatric assessment. This is not normal at all and is a huge red flag to think he can lay his hands on other people like that. If that was a child it could have killed them easily. He is not a nice boy and OP you are completely enabling it!! Why on earth did you let this kid come round if you know your boyfriend doesn't like kids!? What were you all doing?

Tell your aunt, ditch your bf.

I think if I were the bf I'd have been concerned that this kid comes from a family of thugs, who might well come round and beat me up or something if I complained (or who might even react violently to anyone who ever so much as said no to the kid. I mean, how else would he get like this?).

OP, you should have called the emergency services when this happened, and asked for both police and ambulance. Which would then have triggered social services involvement - if this family isn't on their radar already, they need to be. There needs to be intervention here; the kid needs professional help. It's not too late to make a report.

Most people, adult abusers included, can be "nice" when they're getting their way. This child is reacting with extreme violence when he doesn't. Stop minimising.

Behave yourself

That level of anger issues is not normal. You boyfriend sat in your cousins seat and spoke in a mean tone which is not good but obv not something that warrants being beaten up. Your cousins behaviour is alarming.

@Zanygreenan how did your bf get on at A&E?
🤞🏻his wrist wasn't broken and he doesn't have concussion!

People have taken "in a mean tone" to silly extremes and concluded that the BF is some kind of monster.

So very Mumsnet.

You need to dump this man. It will be you he’s nasty to next time. He sounds horrible.

I dont think we've really been told what exacty was said. OP said he was mean, does she think him telling the kid to move was mean?

I do agree somewhat, but the BF should not have been “mean” because he’s “not much into kids”.

The cousin definitely has issues which people need to be honest about and he needs help.

This!

Ive been thinking this the whole thread. I remember having to sit on the floor because an adult had sat in my seat or because I was told to move so an adult could sit down. Pretty sure I've even told my nephew to move to I or another adult could sit.

Your nephew has issues that need dealing with or things would get worse. And putting the blame on your bf is only telling him that his actions were excusable.

Fucking hell. I hate to say it but your cousin is a sociopath in the making, seriously assaulting a grown man with a metal object. Of course tell his mum, not that I think that will do much good. If he’s like this at 9, he’s fucked, sorry. Your bf doesn’t sound that nice but he at least didn’t hit anyone and he can make his own medical decisions.

Your cousin needs to learn actions have consequences, be firm with him on it. Tell his parents.

Your BF is probably embarrassed a kid injured him, but he needs to get medical help. He's an idiot if he thinks he can muster through this, he could have a brain swelling/concussion and a badly set broken bone will plague him for life.

I don't think you're relationship has much legs either - he's a nasty AH speaking to a 9yo like that. Is that normal behaviour? If so I'd get rid.

Bf needs dumping btw. Imagine spending life with someone who doesn’t know how to interact with kids. You did the right thing calling your aunt. Her kid needs help. You need rest x

I hope you take your BF to the hospital and dump him as soon as he’s out

I had a cousin like this. He could be lovely too. But by the time he was in his early 20s he was doing time for rape and attempted murder.

Wow. This kid needs action to sort out their anger issues as this is completely unacceptable. Maybe BF was rude to your cousin, but his response was completely unacceptable and he is on a very dangerous path.

That's correct, but not really the point! Your cousin clearly needs help as that level of violence is extremely worrying!

Did the boyfriend hit back at the child as he was being attacked? I am assuming he could have done, but didn't. Would it have been acceptable if he had? What do we think of the fact that he probably didn't?

I wonder what a mean tone really means. However, it is reasonable that he get out of a chair that has been vacated by someone else, because that someone wants it back? Does the mean tone mean a stern tone, an irritable tone, a tone that says 'I am not doing what a 9 year old tells me to', or is it a 'don't you dare tell me what to do or I will batter you' tone? Hard to say.

This, also what happens when hes older and stronger and a smaller child annoys him. He could end up putting someone in hospital or worse. This child really needs to speak to someone. Your aunt needs referring to CAHMS at the very least he needs to see a specialist as he could be a serious danger.

How do you know this out of interest?

I've reported your post for the same reason.