To not know how to handle the response to the joint party suggestion?

I think her response was fine.

Mine would have hated to share their birthday party with anyone else so I too would have declined to do a joint party.

No need to feel awkward, her reply sounds perfectly fine. She/ her ds is allowed to want to do their own thing. We’ve had 2 joint parties since the start of reception (and probably been to 40 parties between my twins).

Weird that she's never heard of a joint party, they're extremely common.

That sounds a reasonable response tbf. No need to feel awkward.

@runningroundalot I think you need to share the reply, so that we can determine whether they did in fact suggest it was an odd request and if you should be feeling awkward or not.

It’s a completely ordinary thing to propose, OP. If she’s not keen, just say ‘No problem, just an idea. Hope C enjoys his/her party!’

Would it really be out of the blue though? My DD's birthday is end of the school year and by the end of y1 which was peak all class party age pretty much everyone was doing joint parties - sometimes 3 way- with anyone whose birthday was close. Soft play hired, 2 cakes. Job done. No pressure to say yes of course but being "flummoxed" or "taken aback" would have been an odd response as it was clearly a common thing. Obviously someone must have started the trend though.

Do you have children. My DCs went to loads of joint parties. They were very common when two children in the same class had a birthday on the same week.

Why are people reacting as though OP has asked if she can move into her spare room?

While I don't think it's unusual or strange to ask, I don't think you should ask a question if you're not prepared for either option to be the response.

She could have said yes, in which case you would get to planning together. She chose to decline, in which case you reply with "That's fine, hope to see X at Ys party, we'll let you know when we have details" and carry on with planning.

You're probably overthinking this. Just say: okay, was just an idea. No problem! Wipe your nose and move on.

Don't worry OP. It was fine for you to ask, fine for her to say no. Forget about her response and move on.

Did you stop to think that you might have made her feel very awkward by asking? If she was out and out rude, she's in the wrong, of course, but if it's just that she's flummoxed as to why you would suggest it, that's understandable. Are you two particular friends? Are the children best friends? Did you ask your child if they would like to share a party with this particular child? I would be taken aback by being asked, to be honest, if it came right out of the blue.

Did this for my sons first school Birthday party, but he and his friend had been besties since they were about 8 weeks old and me and the other mum are pretty much besties now. The children might as well be cousins! I don't have anyone as close through my nearly 4 year old, so wouldn't plan the same for her.

I did a joint party for dd3 when she was young enough that parties were whole class affairs. I can’t remember if I or the other mum suggested it but basically we would both have wanted the same Saturday afternoon so it made sense to combine. We hosted as our garden was bigger but split the food and the hire of a bouncy castle. Split organising party games and had two birthday cakes. It worked well but all of the guests would have been invited to either child’s party anyway.

I don’t think it’s a big issue if she’s not interested.
Just reply “ok, no worries” and leave it at that. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I did a joint party for DS when he was 5 with my friend’s little girl of the same age. It was inexpensive but still fun as we shared costs inc. hiring the village hall and a couple of professional entertainers. It worked out really well, especially as her DH did all the catering.

It’s usually only done with two children in the same class, or with the same basic group of friends; to avoid having either two parties on same day or joint friends torn as to which one to go to if the times coincide.
How close are the two children, op?

As a child I had a joint birthday party several times with two girls who had a birthday around mine. I'm pretty sure it must have meant we could have both school classes invited and it was a lot less stress for our mum's. I've always thought it's a good idea, so I think it's the other parent just being odd. Presumably she has her own plans already.

You really need to say roughly what her response was. I can only presume your children aren't close friends? They just happen to have fairly close birthdays? And she's not a close friend of yours?

I personally wouldn't do a joint party for my kid, I'd just do it very small if money tight. But I wouldn't be rude about the suggestion.

Though I might be fairly up front that I don't think it would work. I guess that could seem rude to someone if they were sensitive and it felt like a snub. But it wouldn't be meant hurtfully.

I think that if you don't have the means to pay for a party you just have a smaller party at home. The only times I've been to a joint party is one for twins and another for two besties where the mums were besties as well. I would find a request from another school mum a bit weird if our children weren't best friends and we knew each other well.

What did she say?

It’s a fab idea (my friend and I did a joint class partyfor our children who share a birthday, splitting cost and workload) but maybe she wasn’t planning on doing a party and it caught her off guard.. I agree with pp with “no worries, it was just a thought”

a few people locally now do “park parties” which are always a hit. Just take some cake to the park and let others know you are going. Nice and easy and cheap!

If your children are not close friends it’s sort of awkward suggestion. And depending how you’ve asked some people might see it as a push from you and it might affect their answer.

By the way I don’t like joint parties.

“No worries, was just a thought. Hope you’ve had a good Easter break, see you on Monday!”

no need to take offence or over-think it - you suggested something and she said no thanks. Nothing to read into it.

It’s fine to ask, just reply ‘no problem’. I wouldn’t want to do a joint party for my DC but I’d never be a rude in the reply.