to resent covering constantly for a colleague's childcare absences?

Really hope things improve!

I wouldn't log anything about the colleague making up hours. It's not the op's business and comes across as petty.

The key is to present it as a problem in the operation of the business that you have recognised and want to resolve, not whining about someone n the team not doing something (which no doubt the manager already knows about if it's an issue).keep it professional and proactive.

While you are happy to occasionally do more to cover unexpected gaps, this has become a regular thing (list of occasions) and they need to look at reallocating resource or prioritising work differently.

Yes, this brings up an important thing to do. Keep a log of all the occasions where you or your other colleagues have been asked to cover including how long for. Maybe also note how many times the parent has made up the time or covered for others (i.e. never).

It doesn't mean her colleagues should be doing her work though. That's the issue.

Good suggestion from @hallomynameisinigomontoya . I would also start using something like 'I have a commitment tonight so won't be able to stay later than <standard time>' when this issue arises. If you and the others there all find you are too busy to stay late, finish off outstanding work etc, manager will have to look for another solution.

I would state that the workload is currently too high and there aren't enough people to cover X o clock to y o clock. The impact of the business is z and you're concerned you're letting clients down. While you are happy to occasionally do more to cover unexpected gaps, this has become a regular thing (list of occasions) and they need to look at reallocating resource or prioritising work differently. You keep being expected to work late and you can't continue to do so due to personal commitments. More cover is needed for those times.
You don't need to say you're covering for your colleague. That makes you sound like you have a problem with her personally. Your problem is the extra work they're expecting you to do.

So she's basically not fulfilling her work duties, with no compromise on her part.
If she has to deal with childcare, she needs a new job.
She's clearly in a terrible situation, but that is not your problem.

That's the best thing to do. Every time you are asked to stay late, just say you can't.
Anytime you're given work that isn't yours, just say it.
If colleague has to leave early, can’t she work from home or something?
It's just not fair, you are basically working for free.

Stop staying late and working over and above to cover. Just say you arent doing ut any longer as it's affecting your mental health.

But it's difficult to get a temp in if someone often but randomly gets called at lunchtime or soon after to go and pick up a child from school.

I used to share an office with someone like that so it was always me who was expected to stand in. On one occasion she was typing up a contract proposal which had to be emailed by the end of the day. She got called to pick up one of her kids and it was expected that I would stay late to get it done. I said no because unusually I was meeting friends straight from work to go to the theatre. Proposal didn't get finished, the company didn't get the much needed contract but it was somehow all made out to be my fault because I wouldn't stay late and miss my night out.

@catchingup1
Well done for this.
I would also just say that you also have to leave for your own childcare reasons. Your children are not going to benefit from you working late for no extra cash.

Although it’s easy to resent your colleague, really the responsibility lies on your management to sort this out and it’s 100% poor managing. Your manager avoids conflict so doesn’t say anything to colleague who is always off - first issue. Expecting others to cover - second issue.

Third issue is you keep allowing the cycle by covering despite resentment, if you have your own life and DC then start saying no…

Ok, then you just need to say "sorry, i can't, i need to go home"?
I don't understand why you've made it your problem.

That's terrible advice. Works offering flexibility for these situations is great, if people start taking the piss like that the flexibility will be removed for everyone.

Op has never been asked to stay late to cover this work, they're just doing it and blaming their colleague for that choice. They should work their contracted hours and ask their manager to prioritise the work for the team if there isn't time to complete it all.

No. People have to be pragmatic. If others collapse because of work overload, the whole team goes down.

When I was in a similar situation - of covering for the married woman who happened to have 4 (healthy by her account) children - I was working full time plus caring for my disabled husband. I knew that I had to do my job.

What I didn't have time for was constantly picking up the slack for someone else. Yes, our department did all rub together and we did help one another out, but you cannot sustain holding up that one person who always expects others to do their job for them.

Spending time 'supporting' the other person meant that I was constantly being held up at work because of the need to catch up with my own electronic paperwork and I found myself spending more and more time trying to catch up with my own work because senior management tried to make the other person my problem. That was why I had to put my foot down.

Looking back, whenever we had staff who were unreliable, it would turn out that there was some kind of an addiction at the root of it and that turned out to be the case for that particular person. (I know because knowledge of her problem entered the public domain in the end.)

You can feel sympathy for someone but you cannot keep propping up others to your own detriment.

I would tend to agree.
The OPs manager and the employee with childcare issues aren't facing up to hard facts here. The fact being that the employee with the childcare issue is unable to fulfil the full time role which then has to be covered by others with their own full time roles, which is totally unfair and unsustainable in the long term. The manager should be seeking independent HR advice on how to deal with this situation and dealing with it.

I mean, you could all start pulling the same stunt. ‘Here’s the extra work’. Oh no sorry you suddenly have to rush off because your child is ill. All of you.