Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What do you find hot in a man? What do you think men like on a woman? Lighthearted Friday chat 🤷‍♀️

243 replies

freedomformeismotherhood · 10/04/2026 12:08

In a man:
Muscles
Height (sorry)
Aura - are they strong or weak?

I think straight men notice:
Skin (does it have that dewy look)
Shape
How much you care for yourself (manicure, hair, etc)

OP posts:
freedomformeismotherhood · 10/04/2026 20:31

BitOutOfPractice · 10/04/2026 20:27

Oohhhh kaaaaay!

Can I ask op. How old are you?

I'm a grown adult thank you very much!

GIF by Hell's Kitchen
OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 10/04/2026 20:27

freedomformeismotherhood · 10/04/2026 20:18

The way he carries himself

Is he strong or weak minded? Would he fight an intruder or push you in front of one? Is he the leader of his friendship group or the one they mug off

You can get that vibe from the man when you meet him

Oohhhh kaaaaay!

Can I ask op. How old are you?

whereareallthegods · 10/04/2026 20:25

CynonEileen · 10/04/2026 20:21

A man who can walk his dog off lead 🔥

Maybe? If it’s a “look how hard I am” ears cropped massive breed? Perhaps not. If it’s a well trained dog or even better, a teeny, tiny dog? I’m in. It takes a man very secure in his sexuality to walk a Pomeranian called “Elle” and pull it off 🤣🤣

freedomformeismotherhood · 10/04/2026 20:22

CynonEileen · 10/04/2026 20:21

A man who can walk his dog off lead 🔥

Now this is what I mean by aura

That dog knows who his master is

A man being walked by the dog, on the other hand ... 🤢🤢

OP posts:
CynonEileen · 10/04/2026 20:21

A man who can walk his dog off lead 🔥

freedomformeismotherhood · 10/04/2026 20:19

MidnightMeltdown · 10/04/2026 17:23

I’m attracted to blue eyes, but only if they have dark hair and the eyes pop. On lighter brown or blonde hair, I prefer brown eyes.

I like a pair of blue eyes

Blue eyes, tall, long hair, Irish accent... omg yes

OP posts:
freedomformeismotherhood · 10/04/2026 20:18

BitOutOfPractice · 10/04/2026 17:01

What on earth do you mean by aura? 😳

I find massive muscles a big turn off. I’ll go for nice eyes, sense of humour, kindness.

I think men are much more shallow.

The way he carries himself

Is he strong or weak minded? Would he fight an intruder or push you in front of one? Is he the leader of his friendship group or the one they mug off

You can get that vibe from the man when you meet him

Season 7 Whatever GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
OP posts:
chrppelroan · 10/04/2026 20:08

in a man:
Dark Hair
Cleanliness
Being respectful
I don’t like a super skinny man
Lots of motivation

what I think men look for in a woman in my experience:
Intelligence
Quirkiness
Hips/Bum for sure

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 10/04/2026 20:05

Don’t think men are too fussy about nails, makeup , stick thin etc. Most men worth having like women to be outgoing and intelligent too.

freedomformeismotherhood · 10/04/2026 20:01

Firesidechatter · 10/04/2026 15:55

Of course, what an odd question, you think men aren’t attracted to naturally attractive women? If anything they are more attracted to women naturally attractive unless they are a porn obsessed teen.

i think the issue here is men are being treated here as one single brained species who all like the same thing, that’s not true. Men like all different things, obviously, as women are all different. And that changes with background, age, education level etc,

and there is a difference between immediate physical attraction and finding someone attractive. Physical will always play a part but getting to know someone their personality can make them more attractive or less.

and that’s why I think the poster saying men don’t like intelligent women is very wrong, my friendship circle and colleagues are all arguably very intelligent successful women, they have no trouble attracting a mate. And none of the men they are with would do anything more than consider a one night stand with a woman who came across as a bit thick or not very intelligent, they’d roll their eyes and move on.

there is only one man in our group who dated a woman who was not very intelligent and it didn’t last, he looked embarrassed when she opened her mouth sometimes and said something really stupid , some of the things she said was thick as, and I could see him cringe, as did everyone else, he ended it and it didn’t last long.

What got them together was physical attraction, what split them was her lack of intelligence, and I’d say if any of the women dated a man with similar issues, he’d not last long either.

there is a certain type of man who wants a thick woman, but that’s not the type of man any woman should wish to be with,

I think youre a bit harsh tbh

😄😄 not everyone can be as intelligent as you and your mates

OP posts:
freedomformeismotherhood · 10/04/2026 19:59

DuckyDolittle · 10/04/2026 15:34

I think men find different things attractive, the main two groups seem to be sexy or cute. My best friend has always been sexy, long hair, long legs, big boobs, come to bes eyes. I've always been cute, round eyes, short, silly. We've both done ok for ourselves when it comes to attention!

I get what you mean

OP posts:
CookingFatCat · 10/04/2026 19:58

Takes care of himself - goes to dentist, some exercise regime, walking or just being active !
Takes pride in appearance - makes an effort
Humour essential
Intelligent, can hold a conversation
Nice strong arms
Decent sized cock
Nice eyes
Limited facial hair
Thin lips - just a thing I have
Kind, thoughtful.

Men like:
pretty face
good sized / shaped breasts
women who will put men and their needs first.
Also, she must not be as funny, smart. or earn more
Pleasant personality but nothing too challenging.

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 10/04/2026 19:58

intelligence
eyes
not overweight
sense of humour
kindness
All of these are essential in a man.

SugarMiceInTheRain · 10/04/2026 19:42

For me, my non-negotiables are:
Kindness, integrity and intelligence.
Physically - Not fussed about height, visible muscles etc, however there is definitely something very attractive about a man who is good with his hands/ can fix things at work. Dark hair

As for women, I think most men are oblivious to manicures, eyebrows, even haircuts (if DH is anything to go by!) A nice smile and a sparkle in your eyes, even if you are otherwise unremarkable-looking probably goes a long way to making blokes notice you. Along with being friendly/ chatty.

freedomformeismotherhood · 10/04/2026 19:33

HelenaWaiting · 10/04/2026 15:26

7 inches is well-endowed. The average is 5. I should add that I have no dog in this fight as I am in a same sex relationship. The last man I had a date with was treated to me describing at great length how one of my sons and I had restored an old classic Chopper bike. He went to the loo and never came back 🫤

I'm not gonna lie girl, he came to the conclusion that you were a lesbian 😩😩

OP posts:
freedomformeismotherhood · 10/04/2026 19:31

ainsleysanob · 10/04/2026 15:08

Nah. I disagree in some cases. The old grower not show-er. One I’ve seen was unbelievable, like a kebab skewer until you presented it with the slightest bit of attention and it was like a medieval longsword.

Edited

😄😄😄where can I find him😄😄

OP posts:
DisforDarkChocolate · 10/04/2026 19:30

Green eyes
Straight nose
Ability to park
Affectionate

This is probably very outing if you know me.

SuperMaria · 10/04/2026 19:28

Itsallsostressful · 10/04/2026 19:02

Erm never mentioned it to be 'groundbreaking' it's just something I like !

I wasn’t even mentioning you specifically, not RTFT but it comes up every single time, always with the reversing as well, it cringes me outtt I’m sorry

Itsallsostressful · 10/04/2026 19:02

SuperMaria · 10/04/2026 16:55

omg the forearm cliche makes me cringe. I know that we all find it attractive but it’s always mentioned as if it’s some groundbreaking observation 🫢

Bonus points if it’s mentioned alongside reversing and holding passengers headrest.

Erm never mentioned it to be 'groundbreaking' it's just something I like !

FraZles · 10/04/2026 17:54

In men:

  • kindness, attentiveness and a spark!
  • Bright
  • tall is good
  • muscles/fitness
  • good job that uses their brain
  • blue eyes
Blueyrocks · 10/04/2026 17:42

The intelligence thing is weird to me. I have no idea if I am intelligent or come across as intelligent, think unlikely for several reasons. And it's not something I think about at all with men. If they're funny, can have a good conversation, interested in the same kinds of subjects I like to talk about, that all matters, but that's more like conversation chemistry than objective intelligence I think. And I don't know if the kind of intelligence that makes people doctors or architects or curators is at all the same. Definitely see the attraction of doctors, but that's because of the powerful - caring combo, which works for me in many variations.

MidnightMeltdown · 10/04/2026 17:23

freedomformeismotherhood · 10/04/2026 13:46

😄 I must say, I didnt mean long pointy nails

Just clean french manicured types!

Ditto on blue eyes though!

So you dont really have a type, but blue eyes get you?

I’m attracted to blue eyes, but only if they have dark hair and the eyes pop. On lighter brown or blonde hair, I prefer brown eyes.

UnderHousemaid · 10/04/2026 17:16

Firesidechatter · 10/04/2026 17:03

I do find this argument odd though, it’s like the posters have never met an intelligent woman who is in a happy relationship. A doctor, lawyer.dentist, vet. Banker, business manager. They think all intelligent women are single

its utter nonsense, and I’d even hazard a guess we all know couples were the woman seems way smarter than the man.

Yes, exactly. I'm clever and high-achieving, as is DH, as are all my friends, male and female. We're all married to people who are just as clever and high-achieving in their different ways. It's not wildly unlikely. You meet one another at university and at work or via professional networks. The cardiologist across the road is married to a gynaecologist -- a lot of medical couples around here, as we live near a hospital. My museum curator friend is married to the architect who designed the building her museum moved into. An architect friend is married to another architect he met while they were both students. Lots of couples where both are academics, or both arts administration, running theatres etc.

I don't know any clever women who've struggled to find clever men, or clever men who have opted for notably intellectually under-powered women.

Lampzade · 10/04/2026 17:10

I like very ambitious , driven men .
Nice teeth
great hygiene
Care about appearance
Affectionate
loyal

LittleMi55Nobody · 10/04/2026 17:09

Teachacking · 10/04/2026 12:30

I am nobody's type 😭

I'm scruffy (I do try to look nice though!), short, a bit chubby and I get excited over cloud formations and planes 😂

you sound perfect to me lol