They used to be posh. If you bought a Cornetto you were a classy discerning customer with an edge of sophistication that Mr Whippy purchasers could only dream of. From the highly concentrated syrup, to the smooth and luscious ice cream, to the thick crisp cone, they were a portable culinary delight.
So when I bought a pack in Home Bargains I congratulated myself on having come so far in the world that I could acquire not only one but six of these beauties all for myself.
But what a disappointment. They're tiny, for starters. The tiny squirts of syrup are pale and taste like a cold vegan fruit pastille. The ice cream is like a frozen version of some dodgy grey-goods marshmallow. And the cone is pale and soft. The entire thing is an abomination.
This happens so often now - I buy something to eat that used to be nice and it turns out it's now rubbish. Who the fuck decided to make our food nasty?