Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AMIBU

114 replies

Teacake808 · 09/04/2026 23:44

Need to know if i am over doing it ...? My child grew up in the same area she is now graduating from high school( unfortuately we had to move but daughter still finished her time at school) She has had 1 of the same friends from nursery through to high school (still live in the area) of which we had for many sleepovers over the years, my daughter never once slept over there. My daughter missed the last bus 2 nights ago and this mother would not let her stay over(12 am) my daughter was left out in the streets. Dad got her not long after.. why are people so bloody cruel or am i expecting too much( obviously i doubt this but just checking)

OP posts:
Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 00:45

Appreciate all the input but it has nothing to do with the home.. No crazy dad beating the wife etc. Have we learnt nothing from Sarah Everard and many more, shameful! This is about leaving a 17 year old girl out at midnight.. personally i could not do that but I am not a crap person

OP posts:
takealettermsjones · 10/04/2026 00:42

How was your DD planning to get to the friend's house to stay over?

AlwaysLookOnTheBrightSideOfLife · 10/04/2026 00:39

Of course no normal person would do this, but you were all on notice. I had a bf in school. I wasn't allowed in their house. I never once got through the front door.
Years later, coincidentally, her DB became my milkman. I brought it up and he said their dad was a violent alcoholic who ruled with a rod of iron. No one was allowed near.

Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 00:38

No thats not the case. But thsnk you for the input.

OP posts:
Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 00:37

AlcoholicAntibiotic · 10/04/2026 00:31

I think even if the other family hadn’t been happy for your DD to sleep over they could have let her wait in their house until her dad could pick her up.

I wouldn’t let anyone I know wait on the street late at night (unless they’re actively dangerous to me), particularly a young woman.

Finally someone with some sense, thank you .. 💓

OP posts:
JustGiveMeReason · 10/04/2026 00:35

Maybe there is someone that lives in the house who is a danger to young women, and your dd's friend's Mum didn't want to risk her coming in / staying over.
Which would throw a very different light on it.

AlcoholicAntibiotic · 10/04/2026 00:31

I think even if the other family hadn’t been happy for your DD to sleep over they could have let her wait in their house until her dad could pick her up.

I wouldn’t let anyone I know wait on the street late at night (unless they’re actively dangerous to me), particularly a young woman.

Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 00:12

Is that a trick question??? Things happen. Anyone can miss a bus for a variety of reasons. Getting the gist here though(i am in the wrong) because i would never leave a kid /teen out in the night.. My bad. Must try and be a much crap/ shite person going forward

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 10/04/2026 00:03

Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 00:01

It has always been the same since the girls were small though. Never once took them over night... fair enough but leaving a 17 year old girl out late at night, really?? I could not do that.. takes a nasty person to do that

Neither cruel nor nasty. It’s obviously how they are. Why did your DD miss the last bus?

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 10/04/2026 00:02

Teacake808 · 09/04/2026 23:52

No freinds have ever stayed yet mum always happy for her child to go to others. Fair yeah?

The time to tackle that was years ago. She hasn’t”been invited before so no reason to think sh3 would now.

I think cruel is a little hyperbolic though. Your DD is responsible for getting the bus, she didn’t so her dad collected her.

She wasn’t left to sleep in a ditch!

Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 00:01

It has always been the same since the girls were small though. Never once took them over night... fair enough but leaving a 17 year old girl out late at night, really?? I could not do that.. takes a nasty person to do that

OP posts:
Teacake808 · 09/04/2026 23:52

No freinds have ever stayed yet mum always happy for her child to go to others. Fair yeah?

OP posts:
somanychristmaslights · 09/04/2026 23:50

Yes you’d like to think they could have taken her in, but there could be a million reasons why they didn’t. Lesson learnt for DD!

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 09/04/2026 23:49

If she hadn’t stayed there before for whatever reason, then it follows that she wouldn’t be welcome though.