AMIBU

I think not hosting sleepovers is a fair choice. We all make our own.

Did she actually leave your daughter outside on her own? Or did they stay with her until she was collected by her father?

Sadly her friend's parents are complete arsewipes and I would be 🤬 too with them. Cunts

Yeah, no way am I letting a 17 year old young woman walk around the streets late at night, if I can offer help, I would.

I am with you OP.

If she's known this girl for 15 odd years and has never been invited then actually I think the last thing you would expect would for her to be invited there. In fact I'd think you'd be thinking well she definitely won't be invited there as we've known them for 15 years and they've not invited her thus far.

Maybe parents have lives that mean they are not on call to be teenage friends taxi driver?

I agree with you OP - if anyone was stranded/missed the last bus /train etc., a normal person would have let them stay. Or one of them could have run her home. The very least to let her wait indoors safely until she was collected. In all they years they have known each other - it was exceptional circumstances.

Clearly you are not friends with the parents, has the daughter given any reason for the bizzare behavior.

I assume that was aimed at me? A 17yo should be able to.get themselves to a bus stop in time, or make alt arrangements.

There are a myriad of reasons why your DD wasn’t asked in but the fact she had never been allowed in before was a fair indicator. You seem very angry, I don’t think snapping at people for having a different opinion is particularly helpful.

I think it's very irresponsible and cruel for the other family to do this. I'd have been furious too . It really doesn't matter why she missed the bus !

If your DH picked her up just 20 minutes later, why was sleeping at the friend’s house for the night your first preference?

That wasn’t your point though. Most of your ranting is about how cruel and unfair it is that your dd has never had a sleepover at this girls house despite her having them at yours.

Obviously your dd should have been allowed to wait in the house, but bad things don’t happen automatically because it’s midnight and clearly this family have a reason for not wanting to host peope at night. That is their prerogative and it’s not up to you to judge them negatively for it. If you didn’t want your daughter to have the company of theirs, you didn’t have to continue to invite her for sleepovers.

Some people just don’t give a fuck. And this woman sounds like one of these people. They have a very cold “not my problem” attitude to life.

Any decent human being would have offered to let your daughter wait in their house until their lift arrived. Or, they would have taken her home themselves.

Nope, it's pretty bad to leave her at that age imo. Could they not have run her home? Called a cab? Just, well, crappy people.

Any decent person would give a bed to a 17 yr old who was stranded.
Maybe they not decent people?
I don't know. But your daughter may be would have been better not staying there?

So did they actually ask her to leave when they knew she'd missed the bus? Or did she miss the bus, go back to the house and they shut the door in her face? It does sound very odd

You don’t really know though. There is something strange about a household that lets a teenage girl leave a house late without asking if they need a lift, without offering a lift home:

It’s just very odd. I would feel extra protective towards kids I’ve known since they were little. But I deliver every child to safety from my home and surely anyone right thinking does the same.

There could be some reason why the household can't or even just doesn't have overnight guests, but throwing a friend out late at night without knowing how she'll get home isn't really "normal" or acceptable. Even if no one in the family could offer her a lift and there weren't any taxis or Ubers or whatever operating in the area, why not let her stay indoors while she calls around for a ride and that person comes for her?

No one here is going to know the exact reason, though - does your daughter have any idea about why her friend's mother is so strict about guests and why she had to leave at exactly midnight (from the sounds of it) even though there were unusual circumstances?

Well if she doesnt want to be out that late then she needs to make her choices so she doesnt have to be out that late, women are allowed without a chaperone

@Teacake808 you are certainly not BU. How could anyone be so cold hearted and cruel to leave your teenage DD outside at midnight on her own. Could they not even let her wait for her Dad inside the house? They sound odd at the least if they have been so willing to let their own DD go for sleepovers at your house and others but have never invited anyone to theirs. Do you think they could be embarrassed by their house as in it’s messy, dirty etc? Whatever the reason there’s simply no excuse. How does your DD feel about this incident? I’m assuming she feels hurt… Do you know if your DD’s friend asked her to stay when she missed the bus or did she stay quiet and leave it to her Mum to speak?

You have no way of knowing that.
The family wouldn't be advertising it.

Also, why would she 'wander the streets' rather than waiting just outside the house until her Dad got to her ?

Was she not allowed to wait inside? Not offered a lift? I wouldn’t expect her to stay over night, but leaving her outside seems a bit much.

It’s completely unreasonable. I look after my children’s friends like my own. I genuinely feel very attached to their long term friends who I’ve know since they were small. I have three kids and have encountered parents like this before. Awful stuff: don’t get it at all.