Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AMIBU

114 replies

Teacake808 · 09/04/2026 23:44

Need to know if i am over doing it ...? My child grew up in the same area she is now graduating from high school( unfortuately we had to move but daughter still finished her time at school) She has had 1 of the same friends from nursery through to high school (still live in the area) of which we had for many sleepovers over the years, my daughter never once slept over there. My daughter missed the last bus 2 nights ago and this mother would not let her stay over(12 am) my daughter was left out in the streets. Dad got her not long after.. why are people so bloody cruel or am i expecting too much( obviously i doubt this but just checking)

OP posts:
GardeningMummy · 10/04/2026 14:08

CurlewKate · 10/04/2026 14:04

In real life this is appalling behaviour. On Mumsnet, where putting someone up overnight or giving them a lift home is like giving someone a kidney it’s entirely reasonable…..

This!

100% accurate. In MN land, you don’t have to do annything unless you’re legally required to do so! I once read a thread where people were asking why they should say please and thank you for anything! Absolutely baffling

Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 14:07

@OwlsDontGoToSchool yes it is end of 6th year thing. Not sure how long it's been a thing. My son also had one 5 years ago at the end of 6th year. He is now doing his masters 😊

OP posts:
youalright · 10/04/2026 14:06

Has your dd ever been inside her house

GardeningMummy · 10/04/2026 14:06

I’d be messaging the parents and telling them what I think of them, personally. Might not be the most wise thing to do but I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from making them aware of what I thought of them.

CurlewKate · 10/04/2026 14:04

In real life this is appalling behaviour. On Mumsnet, where putting someone up overnight or giving them a lift home is like giving someone a kidney it’s entirely reasonable…..

Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 14:04

@LiviaDrusillaAugusta I don't wish to engage with you could you kindly stop commenting.

OP posts:
OwlsDontGoToSchool · 10/04/2026 14:03

Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 13:59

@OwlsDontGoToSchool yes it is a thing.

Interesting, so at what point is “graduation”? I’ve got a year 11 and a year 13, is it when they go into sixth form from year 11, or leave sixth form? We’d just call it leaving secondary school, or going to college. I wonder if it’s regional.

youalright · 10/04/2026 14:03

Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 14:01

@youalright yes pretty much

She needs better friends

Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 14:01

@youalright yes pretty much

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 10/04/2026 14:01

Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 13:52

@LiviaDrusillaAugusta are you ok? Very argumentative

Oh the irony of that comment…

youalright · 10/04/2026 14:00

Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 13:19

@Swiftie1878 yes I do understand that not everyone hosts sleepovers but under the the circumstances (never happened before) I think it would have been a kind thing to do. The girls were on their way home from a gathering and I believe once they realised the bus was missed, her friend phoned her mum and explained the situation and the mum said DD could not sleepover. Even then my daughter still walked her friend home whilst trying to get a uber. She didn't contact us right away as she knew we would be a bit dissapointed she had missed the last bus. She eventually got home with dad ar 1 am...Leason learned

So did her friend just shut the door on her and went in. Has your daughter ever been inside the house?

Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 13:59

@OwlsDontGoToSchool yes it is a thing.

OP posts:
OwlsDontGoToSchool · 10/04/2026 13:58

Do we talk about graduating from high school now? Interested to know when that became a thing.

Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 13:57

@Benjii that is not the case

OP posts:
Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 13:52

@LiviaDrusillaAugusta are you ok? Very argumentative

OP posts:
Benjii · 10/04/2026 13:51

Why was your dd sleeping over the first choice? If your DH got her not long after, why was picking her up not the first choice? It does read as if you couldn’t be bothered.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 10/04/2026 13:50

Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 13:46

@LiviaDrusillaAugusta again thanks for the feedback. Do have a lovely day.

Do you think that your attitude might be linked to why your daughter has never been welcomed to have a sleepover? Just a thought.

IWaffleAlot · 10/04/2026 13:49

I really hope you advised your dd to drop her friend. No friend treats their friend like this. At 17 she surely should have said something to her parents??

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 10/04/2026 13:46

Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 13:46

@LiviaDrusillaAugusta again thanks for the feedback. Do have a lovely day.

Yes, being snotty to posters is really helping 😂

Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 13:46

@LiviaDrusillaAugusta again thanks for the feedback. Do have a lovely day.

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 10/04/2026 13:44

Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 13:39

@LiviaDrusillaAugusta oh you again ! It's not a case of feeling uncomfortable. She tried to sort it herself first.

Why so defensive? Suggesting people get therapy, calling people all kinds… it’s not the best look

Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 13:39

@LiviaDrusillaAugusta oh you again ! It's not a case of feeling uncomfortable. She tried to sort it herself first.

OP posts:
Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 13:36

@VimesandhisCardboardBoots that is not the case at all but thank you for the feedback. You appear to be as cold as the parent in question, perhaps some therapy would help 😚

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 10/04/2026 13:32

Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 13:19

@Swiftie1878 yes I do understand that not everyone hosts sleepovers but under the the circumstances (never happened before) I think it would have been a kind thing to do. The girls were on their way home from a gathering and I believe once they realised the bus was missed, her friend phoned her mum and explained the situation and the mum said DD could not sleepover. Even then my daughter still walked her friend home whilst trying to get a uber. She didn't contact us right away as she knew we would be a bit dissapointed she had missed the last bus. She eventually got home with dad ar 1 am...Leason learned

Okay so you are blaming someone for not taking her in, when in reality she didn’t feel comfortable contacting her own parents?

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 10/04/2026 13:29

Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 13:19

@Swiftie1878 yes I do understand that not everyone hosts sleepovers but under the the circumstances (never happened before) I think it would have been a kind thing to do. The girls were on their way home from a gathering and I believe once they realised the bus was missed, her friend phoned her mum and explained the situation and the mum said DD could not sleepover. Even then my daughter still walked her friend home whilst trying to get a uber. She didn't contact us right away as she knew we would be a bit dissapointed she had missed the last bus. She eventually got home with dad ar 1 am...Leason learned

Ah, well there's your issue then. Bit of misplaced guilt perhaps that your daughter didn't feel she could call you for help? So it's easier to blame the other parents than yourself.