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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AMIBU

114 replies

Teacake808 · 09/04/2026 23:44

Need to know if i am over doing it ...? My child grew up in the same area she is now graduating from high school( unfortuately we had to move but daughter still finished her time at school) She has had 1 of the same friends from nursery through to high school (still live in the area) of which we had for many sleepovers over the years, my daughter never once slept over there. My daughter missed the last bus 2 nights ago and this mother would not let her stay over(12 am) my daughter was left out in the streets. Dad got her not long after.. why are people so bloody cruel or am i expecting too much( obviously i doubt this but just checking)

OP posts:
Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 15:51

@Sandcaaarstle yes totally agree i could have worded it better! Not a regular poster only come to read. I will know for next time though 😊

OP posts:
Prawnkonjac · 10/04/2026 15:50

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Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 15:48

@Prawnkonjac yes thats what happend. Fortunately she also has alot of lovely friends who would not behave this way. I do get my DD was at fault here too but honestly I can't understand a parent not allowing her to wait inside until she was picked up.

OP posts:
Sandcaaarstle · 10/04/2026 15:45

Some of these replies are absolute bat shit!!! If anyone reading this genuinely believes it’s ok for a 17 year old girl to be left outside someone’s house at midnight I actually worry about society.

OP, the way you have worded your post has put people’s backs up so you’re getting a hard time.

There is no excuse, not a single one for not allowing your DD to wait inside.

Prawnkonjac · 10/04/2026 15:41

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PurpleDisco · 10/04/2026 15:38

@Teacake808 thanks for your reply! It’s good to hear your DD didn’t react negatively or get upset. She sounds well grounded and accepting of people the way they are which is always a good thing.

The main thing I would worry about is safety late at night but at least she knows the situation for next time when socialising with said friend. I still think it’s a horrible way to treat a friend let alone a long standing one.

Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 15:35

@JoeSikoraTommysStory thank you 😊 x

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JoeSikoraTommysStory · 10/04/2026 15:32

@Teacake808 The mother seems like a right horrible nasty bastard! It sounds like she can’t be arsed with her own child never mind anyone else’s. Sorry your DD was left stranded. Just keep in mind you’re not like that and please keep letting your DD’s friend stay over it’s probably the only time the child gets attention/love/felt wanted be the bigger person and teach your DD good ethics. Also make sure she keeps those connections and childhood friends; even if other parents don’t have the kids best interest at heart know you have.

Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 15:29

@Prawnkonjac yes I agree with you. We have already discussed it with her and told her she should have called us immediately for a lift. She walked her friend home whilst trying to get a uber. I actually called her as I can never sleep until she's home

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Sartre · 10/04/2026 15:26

Are they perhaps embarrassed about their home? Think you’re richer/posher and would judge it? Hoarders? I don’t know, you just don’t know with people. Are they perhaps religious / different culture and can’t accept strangers in the home?

Prawnkonjac · 10/04/2026 15:23

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newornotnew · 10/04/2026 15:23

Teacake808 · 09/04/2026 23:52

No freinds have ever stayed yet mum always happy for her child to go to others. Fair yeah?

You don't know the reason.
There could be a serious issue you're not aware of.

It's awful your DD was left out alone in the middle of the night but that's different to them not hosting sleepovers.

Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 15:22

@LiviaDrusillaAugusta oh do shut up.. you are getting really boring now. 🤣

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LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 10/04/2026 15:21

Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 15:10

@LiviaDrusillaAugusta could say the same about you.

I didn’t suggest a poster stop posting 🤷‍♀️🤣

Prawnkonjac · 10/04/2026 15:20

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Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 15:19

@PurpleDisco sorry I didn't answer and I don't mind answering your questions! I have no idea if they are embaressed but I can't see why they would be. No DD has never been invited in, which i have always been fine with. Each to their own. I just felt it was a bit unkind given the one off situation. My daughter is absolutely fine with it, she has lots of friends and she certainly wouldn't put her off still being friends with the girl. She is very loyal. Hope i answered all the questions let me know if I missed any 😊

OP posts:
Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 15:10

@LiviaDrusillaAugusta could say the same about you.

OP posts:
PurpleDisco · 10/04/2026 14:40

@Teacake808 just wondered if you saw my post last night as I asked a couple of questions at the end. Of course you’re under no obligation to answer them!

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 10/04/2026 14:35

youalright · 10/04/2026 14:06

Has your dd ever been inside her house

I'd want to know this too.

Muffsies · 10/04/2026 14:26

I don't understand it either OP. I'd never turn one of my kids friends away in those circumstances.

TheDenimPoet · 10/04/2026 14:23

Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 00:37

Finally someone with some sense, thank you .. 💓

The world isn't split with people agreeing with you having sense, and people not agreeing with you having no sense. It really doesn't work like that.

allthingsinmoderation · 10/04/2026 14:21

Teacake808 · 09/04/2026 23:52

No freinds have ever stayed yet mum always happy for her child to go to others. Fair yeah?

This does seem difficult to understand.
What do you or your daughter think is the reason this family did this?

Madarch · 10/04/2026 14:17

Chaotic household?
Crazy dog/s?
Alcoholic parents?
Weed growers?
Marital tensions?
Hoarders?
Smelly house?
Extreme religous beliefs?

You just don't know what goes on behind closed doors or why someone won't allow guests

joyava · 10/04/2026 14:13

I think this is very poor form by the friend’s parents. No way would I leave a teenager on the street at midnight. At the very least I would have them wait inside the house until the parents arrived to collect them. But then again my DD’s friends are always welcome in our home.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 10/04/2026 14:09

Teacake808 · 10/04/2026 14:04

@LiviaDrusillaAugusta I don't wish to engage with you could you kindly stop commenting.

On a public forum? Aren’t you a charm!

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