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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not want my dad to babysit?

31 replies

Martiniolives · 09/04/2026 21:57

My mum and dad sometimes offer to baby sit my 15 month old but the idea makes my stomach knot up.

My dad wasnt weird with me as a kid directly (well, he did weird stuff like watch porn om the laptop in communal areas and come into the bathroom when id be in the bath..). But he never molested me or anything. But as i got older, when i was an adult, weird things would happen. Hed touch my bum after rubbing my back or hugging me. He introduced me to a friend and they both made it very clear theyd been discussing me and my looks prior. Recently i stayed with my parents and he was in the guest room so when i walked in in a towel post shower he was there. He apologised but he knew so?

I havent ever told anyone this not even my husband as im scared it would ruin our family and i suppose i dont want to even think about it. But your dad touching your bum while youre going through a traumatic event (my dog just died he met us at the vets)... thats not on is it?

Anyway, sorry im venting now. That was many years ago and i have a daughter now. I should never ever leave her with him right? I dont know how to broach this. My nephews love him and are often with him and he never seems to act weird but.. it gets my heckles up and my stomach starts to hurt. I dont know.

OP posts:
Credittocress · 09/04/2026 22:14

You sound very brave. Trust your gut. I wouldn’t let your mum babysit either, she didn’t protect you when you needed it.

Bunnybackinherwarren · 09/04/2026 22:13

I would make sure df never saw your dc again .. Dc get abused in plain sight ime.
Your dm didn't notice his behaviour around you. She wouldn't now would she?
Yabu not to be sharing your worries with your dh.

Ilovecheeseyah · 09/04/2026 22:12

Trust your intuition. It is sadly spot on.
all the best and let us know how you go. Big love to you

ModestlyPrudent · 09/04/2026 22:10

Absolutely don’t risk it. As a parent your number 1 priority is to keep your DC safe. Whether he would or wouldn’t is irrelevant now, you have your concerns and that’s enough to never leave your DC with him.

Pinkflamingo10 · 09/04/2026 22:06

I’m sorry this happened to you.
Trust your instincts here and keep your children away from him. Your children’s safety is your top priority, and you don’t have to justify your choice to anyone.

lazyarse123 · 09/04/2026 22:01

I would trust your instincts. Unfortunately i am a survivor of csa and never left my dd alone with my stepdad but my sister left her girls with him because she believed he wouldn't touch them. She was wrong and luckily he died in prison.
A feeling is enough you don't have to vocalise it just make an excuse.

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