AIBU to hate what's just happened at work?

She was doing a lot more than Paul. And also spending some of her day teaching him, then going back to managing the whole project and doing her own work.

What a stupid comment.

When someone more senior addressed this with Steve, how did he respond?

I think you are completely justified to say what you want to say to Steve BUT I fear the Steve’s of this world would interpret telling him you won’t be putting the work in any more as flouncing, and it’s playing into his hands/game a little.

I think the suggestion to send your own message to the team is excellent (and reinforces you as the leader and owner of all of the work that has happened) I think you could have a chat with the manager who has your back and ask for some ideas/mentorship on how to handle Steve, and I also think that you would be entirely justified to speak to Steve’s boss or HR about this. Steve has already shown you who he is, and I think any kind of conversation with him is likely to prompt the least helpful or fruitful outcome for you

No.

If it was just a well done for getting up to speed then it would have been a private email from manager to Paul. But it wasn’t. He CC’d the senior management so they would see one team member singled out and praised. That’s a career move, not a well done. And it is completely inappropriate and absolutely is because of old boys club nonsense and this new guy being his new mate. Senior management even noticed how bad it was.

OP will not look foolish for what she plans to do. And any man would have no problem standing up to this nonsense so OP shouldn’t hold back on it either.

”That’s an excellent suggestion, perhaps one of the men would like to make it.”

Maybe because OP was supporting Paul as a newcomer alongside her own workload and bringing him up to speed. And maybe because Paul had responsibility for one third of the project, while OP was leading it as a whole ? So more a workload imbalance than a time management issue ? It’s not rocket science is it ?

I think you're massively jumping the gun and could end up looking foolish.

Perhaps they just sent him the email as an ego boost to say well done for getting up to speed having only recently joined?

What if they're planning a big end of project congratulations for you? In which case is you confront your boss you're going to look like a right idiot.

Wait it out and see if a big celebration comes your way before going in with guns blazing.

Potentially, I think it might be normal to be thanking a new staff member, and copying other senior people, so they know they were a good hire.

However, the email questioning it, sent to you, makes this weird. I'd reply to that person and say "If you have any integrity why don't you raise this with the senior team?"

Why does it take you 12 hours a day to do what Paul can do in a normal working day? Maybe Steve thinks you are not as efficient as Paul. It might be a time management problem.

I'd say "Steve, someone on the other team questioned why it's Paul that's been brought to the attention of the senior managers for the work on the project. Can we have a chat about this please? Because, to put it bluntly, I'd have expected you to credit me, given my role and work. It would be helpful to understand your perspective on my performance, as it seems we may lack a shared understanding of the value of my contribution".
If he asks who told you, tell him you'd prefer not to say, as you want to keep the focus on your performance.

Awwww, the good old boys network carrying on as normal.

Really, really grating.

Glad you're going to say something.

Weird question OP but do you work in renewable energy? This sounds horribly similar to something that happened to me. I was eventually managed out with the newcomer meddling ☹️ I also witnessed similar happen to a colleague.

You can usually tell who is a hard worker and who is a shiny shyster by their ass kissing, sickening LinkedIn posts e.g "absolutely loved working on this project with XX and XX" with casual mention of a "technical challenges", "results" and "leadership" but they've only been at the company for 5 minutes

🫠

Exactly this. Don't let it go, it's a depressingly familiar story.
Try working in a female-dominated profession where a man's presence alone is generally enough to make employers over-excited and believe their fairly ordinary contributions are somehow absolutely remarkable.

Makes me mad! Of course you should have had your huge part and hard work for this project acknowledged. Boy's clubs. Don't let this go, sounds like your colleagues have your back.

The point here is that as a manager, Steve shouldn't be socialising with Paul or anyone else as a ‘mate’. You can’t manage your mates in the workplace. It’s a conflict of interest. What you’re effectively telling OP here is that she can’t compete with the old boy network and shouldn’t even try to. Just accept the lack of recognition, and that being a ‘mate’ will inevitably mean Paul’s career will advance over her own. Then slink away with her tail between her legs and transfer to another team, where it’s only a matter of time before it happens again because no-one challenges it.

I would go for this too. While quietly reducing my hours and giving less of myself to the role.

I know exactly how this feels and how common it is. The only way to deal with it is to ask for a skip level meeting with your manager's manager and tell him what you've told us. Calmly and unemotionally and above all, unapologetically. Ask him (I expect it is a him) what he is going to do about it. Then take your hard working talents elsewhere if this isn't rectified asap. The new guy should have responded to all on the email saying the credit wasn't his and redirected it to you. Stop helping him and match your work hours to his while you look for a new position. It's the boy's club in action.

I agree with this.

So Steve thinks Paul came in at a late stage to help keep things afloat after someone else bailed, and is impressed how he 'hit the ground running' and quickly got up to speed. And thinks he's done everyone a favour.

Whereas Steve, if he thought about it at all, would say you were just doing your job.
Is that a fair interpretation?

I'm glad you say you will stop working 12 hour days. The one bit where I thought you were being unreasonable was mentioning that Paul did his 9-5, because he's done nothing wrong there and the 12 hour days you chose to do are on you. Everyone is replaceable at work, but you aren't replaceable in your personal life.

Hate this kind of old boys network BS. This is why men take the credit and get promoted. In the future don't work long days as we are all bums on seats at the end of the day. It's really inappropriate for Paul and Steve to be socialising together.

You are not being petty to call this out directly with Steve. I would also be wondering why you were not included in the email suggesting you were completely sidelined. I would also be wary of Paul and wonder if he took full credit for your work.

I'd move jobs or at least try to be in a different team.

I went batshit over something like this once to the boss and I heard he called my manager in and just said "x was upset.." but then brushed it under the carpet.

Life is too short for twats being all bro with each other.

Do you mean that Steve’s reply was just “oh yes, others did some stuff too but I really just want to highlight Paul.”

It seems very much that Steve is all about the old boy’s club. And he’ll be pushing this guy’s work and career, whilst ignoring yours. Definitely go above him with your comments about that sort of behaviour by management as it is totally unacceptable.

It’s good one of the seniors spotted it though, and let you know what was going on.

I’d be walking in to Steve’s office amd having a chat.

But why be so supine? The OP would know if her manager thought she was a bit crap, so don't give him that excuse. Maybe ask if she should take up golf like Paul, or whatever they have bonded over.

Sorry just seen your further response.

This is outrageous- thanking him for his leadership and organisation, and then fobbing your mention off as “others contributed” makes it sound like he led the project and you were just one of the team. Totally unacceptable.

I’m glad you’re going to raise it. This is not a small thing, it is significantly undermining.

I’d make him aware that senior managers notice such behaviour: Steve, one of the addressees has made me aware of your email and queried why Paul was credited for my work rather than me. I do think it paints a rather misleading picture of my leadership and this is not ok. Can we please schedule a meeting at your earliest convenience