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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Shocked by what my BF did to me

212 replies

Catchase1 · 09/04/2026 19:17

This happened at the weekend but has kind of dragged on to the week. I don’t live with my boyfriend but we’ve been together a few months and we spend every other weekend at one of our houses. We were at mine this weekend just gone. We have a quite ‘jokey’ relationship and banter a lot. On Sunday, he hovered over my face (having taken his shorts down) and broke wind. I was in bed on my phone at the time. I went mad at him and he kept defending it as a joke and says that I always joke about doing it to him. I said yes, a joke. I’ve told him I want space, he has attempted to apologise over messaging and asked to call me. I just feel like it’s a line crossed even if it was done purely as a ‘joke’. Is it me or is that the ultimate disrespect?

OP posts:
Megifer · 09/04/2026 21:11

Nanny0gg · 09/04/2026 20:57

She suggested doing it to him first...

She didnt do it though, did she? Op joking about it (bit grim) is not actually doing it (absolutely vile)

Wingingit73 · 09/04/2026 21:11

Really gross. End it. He will embarrass you in future

thisfilmisboring123 · 09/04/2026 21:09

Assuming he’s over the age of 12, that is fucking grim and an absolute no from me.

VictoriaEra2 · 09/04/2026 21:08

SoSadSoSadSoSad · 09/04/2026 19:18

Foul man. Dump.

Agree. Foul.

SwatTheTwit · 09/04/2026 21:07

I have said it to my boyfriend a few times - mostly if he’s tickling me. However he knows it’s 100% a joke/weak threat (maybe also a real fear……..), I can’t even 💩 when he’s around, let alone any other variation.

I’m not sure if I would end the relationship, it would depend on whether or not I would deem it genuinely just crossed wires and a bad decision? The fact he took down his shorts, though…… it’s a little beyond.

LizandDerekGoals · 09/04/2026 21:07

Megifer · 09/04/2026 20:56

Massive difference between not doing something, and actually doing that something 🙄

Yanbu hes a disgusting pig. Get rid.

This.

But stop the ‘banter’ nonsense.

NeedingASafeSpace · 09/04/2026 21:04

OP, you’re over reacting. Disgusting? Yes. Go mad? Yes. But need space? Over a fart? Just give him what for and make sure he doesn’t do it again.
“what did you guys split up over?”
”oh he farted in my face”

Anywherebuthere · 09/04/2026 21:04

Boundaries and respect are important even in the most intimate fun relationships.

But it sounds like there are blurred lines and no boundaries or respect here, where you have joked about something so gross and he has put it into practice.

You are both at fault.

Growlybear83 · 09/04/2026 21:04

I know how people on Mumsnet react to farting generally bit I would have found this quite funny.

lessglittermoremud · 09/04/2026 21:03

RoseField1 · 09/04/2026 20:56

Next time, swerve the 'banter' and jokes about farting in men's faces. This one has taken it too far but you've created the conditions for this to happen by co-creating this dynamic.

This!

ClearFruit · 09/04/2026 21:02

Nope. Get rid.

DandyPanda · 09/04/2026 21:00

I’d move on if he’s apologised, you’ve joked about doing it to him before, so I can see why he’d think you’d find it funny.

Glitchymn1 · 09/04/2026 20:59

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ.

^ This. 😆

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 09/04/2026 20:59

AStonedRose · 09/04/2026 20:28

It's sexual assault.

Dump dump dump

Oh come on. Have a day off. Its a fart!!!!!

babyproblems · 09/04/2026 20:58

I would never be able to have sex with him again honestly. Does he think he is 12??? I don’t see how I could find him attractive again.. so unbelievably immature! I wouldn’t be able to believe he was genuinely a competent man now tbh. He obviously makes poor decisions which I would struggle with!

Nanny0gg · 09/04/2026 20:57

Megifer · 09/04/2026 20:56

Massive difference between not doing something, and actually doing that something 🙄

Yanbu hes a disgusting pig. Get rid.

She suggested doing it to him first...

Megifer · 09/04/2026 20:56

Massive difference between not doing something, and actually doing that something 🙄

Yanbu hes a disgusting pig. Get rid.

RoseField1 · 09/04/2026 20:56

Next time, swerve the 'banter' and jokes about farting in men's faces. This one has taken it too far but you've created the conditions for this to happen by co-creating this dynamic.

Rpop · 09/04/2026 20:53

AgentPidge · 09/04/2026 19:20

It's in really poor taste but it sounds as if he doesn't know where you draw the line. If he's apologised and learnt his lesson, I'd forgive him.

This. I wouldn’t end a relationship over a fart.

Chatterlyssecret · 09/04/2026 20:52

Where did you find this scumbag of a boyfriend? utterly disgusting.

Dollymylove · 09/04/2026 20:50

So you have been joking about farting in his face. He does it to you and you go ballistic. How old are you both? 13?

MiffyPurple · 09/04/2026 20:45

Gawd, you sound as bad as each other. Probably well suited. Grow up.

Catchase1 · 09/04/2026 20:44

Blodyneighbour · 09/04/2026 20:40

Questions for OP: when he took his shorts down to fart in your face,
1, did he have pants on?
2, How low down did he go in inches?
3, was it loud?
4, did it smell?

Because the above questions will help decide if you are being unreasonable despite you joking about farting in his without ever doing it as of yet.

No he had nothing on and was very close. Yes to 3+4

OP posts:
Gonners · 09/04/2026 20:44

This reminds me of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. "I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!" So thank you for that, OP.

Blodyneighbour · 09/04/2026 20:40

Questions for OP: when he took his shorts down to fart in your face,
1, did he have pants on?
2, How low down did he go in inches?
3, was it loud?
4, did it smell?

Because the above questions will help decide if you are being unreasonable despite you joking about farting in his without ever doing it as of yet.