AIBU to be angry my sister left my 16-year-old alone?

The problem is I think that so many parents are like this now. You only have to see the posts from people agonising about leaving their senior school aged child on their own for more than about 10 minutes.

These young adults enter the working world woefully unprepared.

Also your sister did your DD a massive favour in setting up this meeting and escorting her there!

I think if dd lives in a rural area then London may be a bit of a shock. However they are conversations you should have had with dd and your sister beforehand. It sounds like miscommunication between you and your sister. Plus dd was fine and it was a good learning experience even if it was unexpected.

This is mad OP. Your DD needs to figure stuff out. Also you’ve given loads of very identifiable details.

Auntie may have assumed she’d not want her sitting there and let her have an adult chat with the two professionals.
If Auntie’s kids are older or London based it may not have occurred to her niece wouldn’t be ok getting back to station.
Auntie could have been working and popped out to get her. Not everyone can take a really long lunch. The girls own mum didn’t take time off work to accompany her but expected sister too.

I've not read the whole thread but I have a 16 year old dd.
It is hard to let go but you have to, you're not doing her any favours treating her like a child.
She is very nearly an adult.

You're being incredibly unreasonable.

Your sister probably assumed that she was capable of something as simple as this and quite rightly so.

You need to teach her how to be independent. It is essentially what we spend all these years doing.
Perhaps during the summer you can do things specific to teaching her the life skills she needs.

If she’s looking into career options it’s probably about time she learned how to navigate a train station.

I was sent to stay with my grandmother when I was 15. She lived in a high rise council block in Kings Cross and I used to wander round London on my own all day from there. That was the days before mobile phones but I didn’t have any problem finding my way around and dodging the prostitutes and pimps who hung around on the street corners in Kings Cross in those days!

I wouldn't do this with my 16 year old niece, so I see where you're coming from.

Yes I did mine yr10. It had shifted to yr12 (so age 17) when my dd was at school fairly recently. She went to London for her work experience, stayed with a relative and navigated in on train and tube. We live nearly 200 miles away. She was grateful for the opportunity.

Seriously. It's London not a foreign country where she doesn't speak the language. My DS is one year older and going to Paris alone. He will use Google maps. He speaks Spanish not French but I'm sure he'll be fine.

Did you ask your sister to babysit her? If not I can’t see why she’d assume she needed to do so for a 16 year old. My daughter is 13 and has some additional needs (autistic) so can take a bit longer to do things than other children her age but im hoping she’d be capable of handling this situation in 3 years time.

Is work experience not common in year 10? It was compulsory when I was 15 and nobody had their parents escorting them to and from the workplace!

People take a gap year and travel around the world not much older than that

My 10 year old was navigating London transport on her own. I was living on my own and working full time at 16.

Why couldn’t your dd google maps her way home.

I think you might like to give your dd more freedom and push her to do more stuff on her own.

But she’s 16 years old? I realise I’m an anomaly but l left home at 16, went to work, had my own place and had my first child at 17. 16 year old’s aren’t babies and frankly, if she’s uncomfortable talking to strangers on her own at that age she evidently needs more
exposure. It’s great for self esteem and confidence. Don’t cotton wool her, she needs to grow up at some point.

16!!!

I was travelling to London, on shopping trips, alone at 12 and living on my own in Bloomsbury, central London at 16. Your daughter should've been taught some life skills.

I too think it was fine. Sixteen year olds travel to and around London all the time, I daresay your sister thought she would know what to do. Central London is not difficult to navigate, there are tube stations everywhere.

I am surprised that no one- you, your daughter, or sister discussed return arrangements. If I went with my aunt, she would surely say, call me when you are done or I'll come back in an hour. Nothing was discussed at all? Especially when your daughter was a bit nervous to find her way back to station. That's poor planning on all your parts.

Fucking hell! I was working full time as a bank cashier at 16 ! I also had to find my way there and back alone. I was married at 20. Cop yourself on!

I don’t think the trains / travelling were the concern.

I can't believe this is real! At 16 your daughter shouldn't have needed your sister to collect her from the station in the first place. And I can't believe she asked them for directions and then let them walk her there and wait for the train with her. At 16 I would have died of embarrassment at being that incapable.

You’ve written that the deal was your sister would meet your daughter and take her to meet this couple. Job done and a thank you.

It’s very likely your sister assumed your daughter would know how to get back. You didn’t clarify what the return arrangements were. This is on you, if you’re looking to blame someone. I can see why you’d be worried, just not sure you’re directing your anger in the right direction.

I absolutely would expect your sister to leave her to have the conversation on her own. She was in no danger and it will have been a learning experience.

Leaving her alone there and going home without telling her? That’s rude. Of course she can navigate it herself, but having never done so and being left to figure it out alone for the first time in a busy city? Yes I’d be annoyed for sure. Not because she was unsafe necessarily, but because it was rude.