AIBU to be angry my sister left my 16-year-old alone?

I was commuting to London for work at 16. I had my first job in the Tottenham Court Road. No idea how to get there, no smartphones back in the 70s. Train then tube. I had to use my noodle to learn.

Haha, not quite, this was the 90's 🙂

Your daughter needs to learn some life skills. Start with Google maps. YABVU.

Red bus rover? Those were the days!

I was travelling around London with an A-Z by myself from the age of 14. I think this situation is absolutely fine for your daughter, and good for building confidence, resilience and remembering to plan ahead in future.

True. Leaving one's comfort zone is part of growing and developing - at any age, I'm still doing it and I'm 70+.

Complete overreaction

My sixteen year old went (with a couple of mates, granted) on a week long holiday to the other end of the country after GCSEs. She was still sixteen when she navigated buses to a city she had never been to for a taster day at a uni. She was fine. I had life 360 if needed but didn’t need it.

You have an almost adult.

let go.

Equally, the OP and her daughter should have been clearer on their assumptions. Seems that both sides assumed that their plan was the understood plan.

No I think DD very overdue figuring this type of thing out.

If your sister had let her know she’d need to get some public transport I think a child several years younger should have managed it. At 16 she should be able to “spontaneously” manage this. You’re talking like asking someone for directions is something distressing, surely that’s normal to ask occasionally, even with google maps.

Brighton may be a city but certainly feels as a town to me.

No one is in the wrong here or being unfair. The daughter made an assumption that the aunt would be there. The aunt made an assumption that it was a given that she wouldnt be there.

Neither communicated the 'plan' and quite frankly I wouldnt have thought there would need to be an overt plan, Im introducing you to some people, thats it. It wouldnt cross my mind that there would need to be some sort of 'arrangement' to get back to the station.

TBH I’d have been appalled to find that my dds were so helpless and clueless at 16 - and this was long before Google maps.

At that age a friend and I spent 6 days in London on our own, staying at a YWCA while attending a German course. Home was 100 miles away. My DM told me clearly how to navigate the Tube - easy! - and that was about it, apart of course from Don’t Talk To Strange Men!

I think she's the right age to probably to start having to learn to navigate new areas and find her way on her own. ,which she did she asked the couple to help and she arrived he safely .
Unless their is SEN involved you need to back off these next 2 years are her navigation from young adult to adult ,believee in uni she will likely be falling out of nightclubs and random parties at all hours ,she has to learn to be able to navigate these situations safely and ha w some street smarts .

I think its not fair to leave her do the journey on her own without letting her know that thats whats going to happen if the teenager has never been to London before. Its not ok to just dissappear. I think your sister should have been clearer about the plan.

I was travelling on a train to London to work every day at that age. You are babying her

Also concerning that the phrase or statement 'Im not comfortable', or 'Im uncomfortable' has garnered the significance it has.

Gosh I was working at 16 on evenings and weekends after college, travelling to independent kiosks all over south London. No Google maps in them days either.

I would respond but it’s clear OP isn’t coming back🤣

Brighton IS a city! My dgd who also lives "fairly close to Brighton" Very rural, also 16, travels to London on the train to meet up with people. (She is also nd) My oldest DD left home at 16, she wanted to work with horses and had to live on site. She now whips round the planet alone!

How did you get that these sentences were some sort of excuse? “We have taken the children to London - but it’s not somewhere they have asked to go as teens. Maybe Covid played a role in that as they were not going out much during that period obviously.”
Covid happened when my kids were young teens … they didn’t ask to go to London after Covid so why is that an excuse? Sending kids to London age 15, without kids asking to go, is not a parenting must do.

You sound like many people on this thread who are getting some sort of superiority kick out of criticising other people’s life choices.

She didn't panic, she coped. The only person not coping here is the OP but hopefully she's rethinking her initial reaction.

Yab massively U. The fact your DD panicked and had no clue what to do, suggests she’s been massively babied. This would be normal for a 16yo.

My ds moved out and did an apprenticeship aged 16. My 14yo ds has SEN, and got a bus to work experience across town independently after I showed him where to go on day 1. They need to learn to find their way to a train station independently.

I can’t imagine what the problem is? She is 16yo and it was out in public near public transport. Your sister didn’t drive her out to a remote location and leave her alone with a few strangers. You are being very odd. Does your DD not have a casual job outside of school (fast food or whatnot) where she interacts with strangers in public and gets transport?