AIBU to be angry my sister left my 16-year-old alone?

Yeah you are being VERY unreasonable

YABU, my 17 year old took transatlantic flights by herself, including transfers.

At 16 I was doing work experience in central London, using an a to z to navigate, taking the train. I also had a job clearing tables in a cafe and chatting to strangers all day. It sounds like your daughter used her voice to ask for help and received it.

@ThisPeachHam Yes. Exactly! No mum or auntie hovering!

I’d moved down to London, having never been before, from the north when I was 16. I didn’t know a single soul. Got a flat, got a job, learnt to get around. This was before google maps an city mapper too - I used to carry a tiny London A-Z around with me, everyone did 🤣

Travelled on the Northern Line a lot, it was a bus ride away from me on South London, I’ve no idea whatsoever what you’re talking about!

I’ve seen various issues, from serious (I presume heart attack), to small issues (child falling down a couple of steps) and always passengers helping. Because believe it or not, the northern line doesn’t carry just dangerous unreasonable people, like every other line, it is a cross section of the population! It’s runs from Morden to High Barnet, with many many stops in between and many different passengers.

Yep I agree with you!

She's 16. She has a phone. No problem.

@SomeTameGazelles Well exactly. Not pretty but functional.

This is so far removed from my experience of London. Every time I've seen anyone have a little trip etc people have rushed to help. Same with older people and luggage etc. I'm sorry if this happened to your friend (although don't 100% understand how she knew what was happening around her if she had passed out) but most people - like in any town or city - are nice.

Same here, born and bred Londoner. I have no idea what that poster is on about.

Yes, it's not the most aesthetically pleasing of tube lines, but it's absolutely fine.

The demonstration or road closure point

First time my then 15 year old got train alone to a big city 1 hr 15 mins away there was a man on train acting suspiciously and saying he had a bomb.
They stopped the train and all passengers had to climb down onto tracks and evacuate.
She followed direction of guard in uniform to evacuate carriage. She stood with two middle aged ladies with their suitcases. She called me and asked her to pick her up from x town. When I arrived the area was cordoned off lots of police and bomb squad did 2 controlled explosions. We still laugh about it. I’d reminded her about double checking she was on correct train, keep phone safe etc but bomb threat wasn’t on my radar!

What a load of rubbish about the Northern line! It’s as safe as any other line! Also navigating the tube is vital for being in London.

Or find yourself caught up in a demonstration or road closure and not know another way to get from A to B.

That's what street maps are for.

Also, get to know the main N-S routes through Central London. Then when you hit one you'll know roughly where you are.
Keep walking south you'll fall in the river. Keep walking north you hit the Euston Road.
Look at the destinations on the front of buses. Look out for Tube stations. Nowadays there are often information panels at street corners.
It is quite difficult to get hopelessly lost in Central London.

(Back in the days when there used to be newspaper sellers on streetcorners, they all acted as informal information kiosks.)

Typos!

can text BTP

I think some parents just automatically do everything and don’t push teens outside comfort zone and think they are being kind and keeping them safe by chauffeuring door to door or not letting them go out alone.
All of a sudden the teen is older and really behind the curve. But the parents don’t grasp how sheltered the teen is and get angry when they are treated in an age appropriate way.
It sometimes takes more time and effort on part of parent but they do need experiences. Eg them getting public transport rather than you driving them.
Even speaking to staff at attractions, ordering own food or drinks in restaurants some parents adopt an everyone is a dangerous stranger approach and encourage zero interaction.

@Monty36

Your information / experience
is completely out of date. Respectfully.

There are plenty of staff and signage and digital information boards, information kiosks as well as manned ticket machines, staff on platforms, staff at ticket gates etc

You are talking nonsense

Also what do you mean when you say some lines are safer than others?

If you are on a Tube and you feel unsafe you cant text BTP and they will meet you at the next stop.

Also your comments may be even more irrelevant as this DD was not asked to take the Tube - London to Brighton is overground. All she had to do was get to the station, buy a ticket and stand on the correct platform. At 16 this should not be a big ask.

For example London Bridge station has two concourses on two entirely different levels, umpteen escalators, a tube station, a bus station and at least five different entrance points.

London Bridge also has information boards giving time, destination and platform for all trains.

Victoria, which I expect DD was using if she was going towards Brighton, also has multiple boards in different parts of the station showing departure information. Plus an information kiosk, plus ticket office, plus staff at the ticket barriers who she could ask for confirmation that she has the right platform and train.

Honestly I can’t agree with this. I commuted to work in the 70s as a teenager on the tube in the era of the IRA bombs - now that did feel like a daily threat.

London is rammed these days and there are so many people around that I never feel anxious. Yes, phones get snatched but that’s global and we don’t have the pickpockets some cities like Barcelona have. You are unlikely to be a victim of violent crime in London in the daytime unless it is gang related.

Sadly dodgy taxi drivers and sleazy men have always existed. In every town and village. As women we are in danger of making ourselves prisoners if we don’t inhabit the streets.

The Northern line in daytime, or even into the evening, is absolutely fine, I use it regularly, as do thousands of other people - I’ve even seen young teenagers on there.

Going to back when I was young, being harassed on the street was quite normal, this was in a small market town. It's not just confined to London. Knowing how to deal with harassment, comments etc is part of growing up sadly. I learnt early on how to recognize a predator how to get out of situations etc. It still didn't stop me being sexually assaulted later in life, but that was a different situation. Unfortunately part of growing up is dealing with unpleasant things.

Yep, born and bred and lived in London for over 5 decades. Travel across all zones, on all lines. Like anywhere, you might have moments of feeling vulnerable, but essentially London is a safe city and not a ghetto. So thanks for the assumption that I don’t know London, but I live, work and socialise here. Think I have an idea of what I’m talking about.
and stand by my original comment- mum should have checked out the situation if she thought her daughter might feel vulnerable.

Does your sister live and work in London? In which case she's used to seeing 11 year old navigate the Tube with ease. So I think she would have assumed that your 16 year old armed with a smart phone would be able to get home.

It would be inappropriate for your DS to 'supervise' the interaction. They were meeting in a public place. It is your DD's job to make the most of the connection, it is not for her mum or her relatives to speak on her behalf with someone she wants to do an internship with. In fact I would think it was a bit weird if a mum/auntie turned up to speak to me about job opportunities for a 16 year old. It would not make a good impression.

So no don't have a 'harsh word' with your sister. Work on getting your teen to be more self sufficient and confident.

I have girl / boy twins ... you must realise a 14 year old boy finding his way in london is not the same as a teen girl. When I lived and worked in London, it was men sexually harassing me (including several black cab drivers when I was in their cab) that is part of the safety issue. I was in my late 20s, dressed in a suit from Karen Millen coming back from a meeting at an investment bank at 10.30am to my office when the black cab driver driving me asked me if I was interested in swapping free cab rides for sex. I might have been in my late 20s but I had only just moved to London from overseas and I clearly looked vulnerable and naive to him. Then not long after, that another black cab driver driving me home late at night, suggested he would also give me free cab rides if I was to stop at a local park with him and stand on his stomach as apparently he had really strong abs and wanted to prove it to me. I rang my boyfriend in the cab and the driver let me out. London is more than just knowing how to catch the tube.