To be incredibly jealous of friends home?

This is something much bigger than just your house, OP. Who were you before you were a mum?

I got a few tips from my very stylish ( sadly I’m not) mum back in the day that may help.

She said that people often feel happiest in rooms with some of the colour that they like in clothes.

She thought that you need to have one point of interest or drama in every room. If you have a period home, that may be the fireplace and hearth or a large painting or something of that nature. If it’s a modern home, then you need to create that feature in a piece of furniture, an amazing light fitting or art or something.

Black often adds a touch of interest or drama. So maybe a black cabinet or black edged coffee table or black accessories in an otherwise blander neutral or white room.

If you’re starting from scratch, start with one or two things you love and take it from there.

I’ve found Dunelm and H& M have great things, leaving aside expensive stores.

It's why people employ interior designers, some people have an eye, if you've got young kids though be thankful you've got practical stuff, I have a mucky old labrador who lives on the settee, and a small terraced house that shows up muck, so wooden floors and washable throws it is. I love him though so other people's houses are exactly that, theirs, decorated and suited to them. When your kids are older you can maybe employ an interior designer and be a bit more risqué with your surroundings, for now be grateful.

I’m not suggesting you do, though. That’s my taste, not yours. It was just an example of what colour can do. What colours are your walls now, for instance?

Op Jealousy is a natural emotion for some people. I can honestly say I don't have a jealous bone in my body neither do I get envious. I've read somewhere it's a trait in the genes you either have or haven't aquired.I really don't care what others do or what they have & I'm happy for others successes in life. I imagine it must be awful to suffer from jealousy although it's even worse to be the victim of it.

Some of the replies on here have been pretty horrible 😕

You're not boring. It's not helpful to you to frame it like that. You just haven't found what you want, what would suit your home, reflect your interests and your lifestyle.

Putting something together as your friend has takes time, devotion, and knowledge of what style she wants to achieve. That's a talent a lot of people don't have, so you are not alone.

You're wasting a valuable resource by not asking your friend for her input on to what she thinks would look good in your home.

Your home sounds like my kinda place, all new, & modern, with good furniture that’ll last. I’d hate to move into a tatty old place full of other people’s rubbish.

And you sound painfully sanctimonious @TempNameForObviousReasons

Could you try adding a vase of bright multicolor flowers to start with? See if that inspires you?

I’ve just taken my living room from a boring doctor’s waiting room to something with dusky pink colour-drenching and crazy wallpaper! I did it by first thinking about what it is that always catches my eye, then by consulting creative friends with different styles and then just going for it. But I find you can lift a room with simple things too, like a beautiful lampshade or some new shelving.
I’m definitely on the road to being braver!

Turn your jealousy into action.

You certainly don’t need an interior designer. And you certainly don’t need to set aside £2.5K.

Take photos of your rooms and upload them to ChatGPT/Google Gemini and add a prompt, such as: “Please can you generate an image of this room with accessories and X colours to bring it to life”.

Or try the “DIY on a budget” Facebook group.

If you do nothing, you’re going to become more sad and wound up about your house. So do something about it.

There are also plenty of interiors magazines for all budgets . They can even show you the suppliers. I understand OP . I have one friend in particular whose style of house I love , upcycling , etc . But then I saw how much time , effort and even money she spent as she uses expensive paints , etc . I have neither the incentive to put in the effort or the time .

Sorry if I missed it, but is your friend's house a new build too?

It isn't possible to create same vibe in a 20 year old house vs a 100 year house.

You can recreate the look to a degree, but the era of the house is central to how successful the overall interior decoration is.

I find this a bit bizarre.

You like the style of this person's home yet are jealous rather than thinking "how can I bring style to my home".

Is it really style you're jealous of? Or do you feel there's a reflection of personality here? Because jealousy is a really strange emotion to have.

If you want to have unique pieces which you pick up for a bargain, you need to put in the hours in reclaim places, facebook marketplace etc. Even TK Maxx is worth a look once you get past the life sized pink flamingos. Stop whinging about it and do something!

Or, if you don't want to put in the hours, you need to pay for someone who will.

Those are two practical options for you. If you need inspiration, try Pinterest. If you don't know how to create an overall aesthetic, then pay someone. What point is it wallowing in misery because of your beige surroundings? Do something!

She has spent ages going to thrift shops and up cycling one of a kind items, hand selecting everything.
Do you want to spend this time and energy on your house?

You use the word boring, but maybe yours is just low key so you can use your time, energy and money on other things?

You sound somewhat irrational really. You chose your new build box home, you chose your decor, you chose your furniture. You've got what you wanted? Your friend has chosen to do things differently, how they want. And it sounds like they've put a huge amount of blood, sweat, and probably tears, into getting there. Renovating a house, up cycling furniture etc all takes a huge amount of time. Maybe you're not bold enough or stylish enough to pull off what they've done, and that's what you're jealous of?

I'm jealous of my cousin's homes. Yeah they have several. All gorgeously decorated, quirky but tasteful, comfortable, welcoming, tidy, calm. Not a speck of dust anywhere.

I really do wish I could just have a tiny fraction of that. But my house is just falling apart and whenever we try and fix one thing another worse thing breaks. It's kind of demoralising. And being disabled we are not really able to do much DIY.

If you care enough then change it, if you don’t then stop fretting

You could tell your friend what you've said here, that you love her house and all her good ideas, you want to make changes and has she got any tips for yours, eg layout? People thrive on being asked for such advice, on the whole.

You don’t need to paint the walls, just start off with a cushion or ornament.

Jealousy is a very negative emotion. Jealous people are not in my experience happy and contented people.

This is a crude example but just to show you how you can add different accent colours to change the vibe of a room. Don’t forget you can return items if you change your mind! There is no risk in buying a cushion or lamp to see how it looks in your space!

As someone who had to leave a (beautiful) house because of a serious issue I would say it is the non-material things which matter.