To be incredibly jealous of friends home?

OP, fwiw, I love bright colours and always feel like I'm too loud and not sensible enough! Make a few small changes (after all, your friend didn't decorate her whole house in one go) but it might also be worth considering whether this reflects a bigger issue with self esteem and identity.

Good luck with everything!

I have a friend who has been living in her flat for 18 months and has made it much nicer than my house which I’ve lived in for 18 years. It helps that she has a natural eye for design and a mum who is an interior designer. I’d suggest that she’s also quite single minded about hunting out what she wants - scours all sorts of places ( other than designer as she is on a budget ). I do it to a certain extent. I’ve bought second hand rugs , curtains , wooden furniture cheaply off eBay and Facebook marketplace and painted it or recovered it and I do have a quirky interior … it’s just a bit unfinished. My basics like the sofa are all practical though and designed to last a long time. If you’re a library member you may be able to access all the big interior and fashion magazines with an app called Press reader but only to see what you’re drawn to not to slavishly copy. I’ve picked up posters and prints from holidays and exhibitions, vintage blankets from charity shops etc when we’ve been away. It won’t happen overnight but you can gradually introduce more personality

You're being rather down on yourself! I am sure your family don't feel like that about you.

You could add some framed coloured prints to the walls? Add some unusual ornaments maybe as a starring point?

It’s a fair point about when a new build stops being a new build.

Why don't you go to some thrift shops and charity shops and markets - and have a look on facebook marketplace @NeverMindMee ?

My niece picked up a Victoran carved oak ottaman some months back from Facebook marketplace. £50!

That’s not at all how I interpreted op, she sounds like many women who get to a stage of life and feel stuck in a rut and realise that they don’t really get to express much of their personality, they choose sensible clothes, choose sensible furniture, sensible hobbies, sometimes to to fit in and avoid judgement, sometimes because the career they chose expect people to present a certain way, many reasons, they get to a certain point of life where they realise their decisions on clothing and decor and social life have been based on making connections, fitting in, what’s favoured or preferred by others, and realise they’d like to be more expressive about their personality themselves.

Op sounds like she’s is happy for her friend, and would like to express herself, and doesn’t know where to start, and it can be hard to make those changes when the people you share your love and loving space with are used to functional and simple. She doesn’t sound like a bad friend, it sounds like her mate has inspired her to want to change her decor to reflect personality too.

I know what you mean OP. Would your friend help you just to get started? I like pp suggestion upthread about looking at Oscar’s fashion and what clothes you wear to where to get an idea of what your inner style is. The best most individual houses that I have seen are from years of buying things they genuinely like. It doesn’t happen overnight. I am just coming out of what I call my practical era - my youngest is 12 and I can start to think of what I like and not just what is practical for young dc. There is a compromise to be had between what you would like and what your dh would like. And you’re not boring

OP stop!

Seriously, stop. Many people in the world have just had their homes bombed. Or they’ve been hoiked to a detention centre and can’t go home.
Your problem is easily fixed by appreciating what you have, or realising that your home evolves with you, and it’s fairly easy to paint/ decorate etc.

I work in interiors OP and it's really common how you describe your home. What I like to call it is "solid foundations". Things like sofas and carpet are big purchases and it's better to go with something neutral/practical. It is however very easy to add detail with cushions, rugs, lamps, pictures/photos for walls.
What you need are accent colours for each room but don't overdo it as it will look too themed/cultivated. Add one thing at a time and go from there.

I think you need to get under the skin of what you like then gradually introduce this into your home. I like really old things. We live in a 200 year old cottage, so we don’t have tons of space, but it suits the furnishings I like and I’m comfortable doing arts and crafts (I’m an amateur dress / costume maker) so I have hand painted delft tiles, potato printed linen curtains, mismatching china, Persian rugs and antique furniture. Probably not your thing, but maybe keep a scrapbook of what is your thing until you have a clear vision.

I see what you mean , I’m guessing your children are still fairly young so for now you need to be practical , but that doesn’t mean you can’t hang art or buy gorgeous cushions and throws for your sofas and chairs .
Buy lovely duvet covers , throws and cushions for your bedrooms
The art doesn’t need to be expensive at all .
For example we bought a lovely printed poster from a stationary / paper shop on holiday .
We also buy inexpensive limited edition prints .

Get on Pinterest!

My house is a dull 60s box but I’ve started panting it bright colours and getting rid of all the beige from when my DC were little. Then I accessorise each room.

There is so much inspiration online. I also roped my kids in to help paint and learn some life skills!

I get what you mean, new builds are just so souless aren't they. I've been in one for 15yrs, (don't know why i'm still calling it a new build though )😂
Give me an old high ceilinged tenement anyday

i really recommend you try and find yourself again outside of mum! what did you do or enjoy or fancy when you were younger? if you've got a good partner, you should be able to find at least one evening a week or one session on a weekend to do something for yourself.

I m an interior architect. Being sensible doesnt equate boring. You need to stop having a fix mindset and see what sparks you.

i always tell my client to start with fashion and ask yourself those questions. When you look at the oscars, what were the dresses you were drawn to?

• colour wise
• fabric wise
• style

how do you dress going to work? Going out? Invited to a wedding? I bet there is sensible to work, whats the other 2

then if money was no object what brand(s) would you buy your clothes from?

the answers to those questions give you: colours, style, texture, patterns, cut.

now find things that spark the same emotion when you look at them.

• antic markets
• car boot sale
• hm home
• zara home
• next
• etsy
• …

so many places that dont break the bank.

if you d like to learn to upcycle ask your friend. Even if you dint have the same style, she can teach you the skills to do it and what to look for.

the key is to CURATE to your taste and take your time. Buy one or 2 things at the time and only if you love it.

you can do that with your husband or alone.

Show us the armchair so we can maybe suggest what will go with it, it’s a good starting point

Ask her for some advice, to make your home look good. It's okay to feel jealous sometimes.

You are NOT boring. You just have a different sense of taste to others. You don't have to go big or go home - why not just buy yourself one colourful cushion? Find one that speaks to you - you might love delicate patterns like small florals or big, dramatic jungle prints. Just one thing, a small one. Live with it for a while and if you like the way it looks in your home, then maybe get something else in the same style - a rug, a print. Sometimes just a few small tweaks are enough to give 'depth' to a room, and I suspect as your children grow up you will find your own sense of style.

Wonders can be achieved by adding texture, even without colour - although I do wonder what adding a few coral or turquoise cushions to your room and maybe a vase or art picking up your accent colour would do to your room.

Google ‘adding texture and depth to neutral room’ and see what you like. What about some textured woolly or fur cream cushions ( see H&M etc) or rattan/ wicker type accessories? A rug? Cheap quick updates.

Based on your reply here, your home will reflect this.

It is who you are OP. Don't agonise over it.

You are practical and functional. You have your own style.

I'm a maximalist. It's a very time consuming hobby! I can spend hours browsing online. I go to different places for inspiration. I paint things and sew things. I think it is something you either love doing or don't.

My house isn't "finished" as I am still adding and changing things. It's a long running joke with DS that it will never actually be finished! But its not an overnight thing. It takes time and effort. But I enjoy it so its fine.

If you want to do something with your home you need to put the time in to find things that inspire you. It's hard though when you have a potentially resistant partner. For that reason I'd struggle to live with anyone again!

@NeverMindMee I know exactly what you mean. Our house is nice; clean, tidy etc but I think you’ve either got an eye for a certain way of making a home look or you haven’t. I haven’t x

And Homesense/ TK Maxx!

Fabulous for new cushions, throws, small rugs, lamps that change the look quickly.