To be incredibly jealous of friends home?

i didn’t want to do anything to our current house that my husband disliked .
We compromised .
we have bought furniture over the years and at the moment we have only one item we feel is wrong in the house .
its a big ticket item so can’t change that now .
i got the seat pads reupholstered and got new table mats to change the look a bit .
my own bedroom though, I’ve got it in pale olive and some dusty rose throws and cushions I really like that and he had no say 🤣

Why are you letting your husband dictate so much? Tell him to fuck off and buy what you want. You have a boring home because you’re allowing your boring husband to dictate

That’s how we found the light fitting we wanted for our kitchen in our last house ( we have since moved house )
we were in a bakery/ cafe / restaurant and I loved the light fittings .
So went on an online search then an actual search 😆

I agree with this. I think jealousy tends to be sharper if your own life is too empty. Wondering if that's something going on OP?

I admire other people’s home but my home tells the story of our life as a family. It’s warm and welcoming and cosy and full of things collected over the years or that mean something to someone in the family. A mixture of styles , and fairly eclectic but it reflects our family over the last 20 years and I would t change it. It is the story of us and somewhere we all feel happy and safe and lived and welcomed and where the older kids live coming back to.

Personally, I wouldn't go near TKMaxx, Dunelm, Instagram or chat gpt for this project.

I'd think very broadly about what you love.. What era of music, novels, films, art draws you.. Could be several. Your house is a new build, but what would your ideal be.. Mid century modern? Scandi chic? Turn of the century? Los Angeles noir.

I'd then scour vinted and charity shops for a couple of things you love. Antique markets if you have them close. Your house sounds like a blank canvas so lots of scope. And if it doesn't work for you after you sit with it for a couple of months, return it to charity shop or vinted.

It's fine to end up with a mix too. I love antique Laura Ashley and Baccarat, but have select pieces with white walls and wood floors, along with some more colorful modern art. If you can, visit house galleries like Kettles Yard for inspiration.

It takes years to settle into a home , we have been in our new build four years and only now do I feel it has developed a personality

It’s a nice project to work away on at your own pace, finding things you like in your home.
My friend just spent £££ on a renovation. It’s very much her style but I’d hate to live in her house now. To me it’s kitsch and twee, but she loves it.
Find your own style.

Sometimes it only needs a couple of items to lift a room. My DS and GF - basically the GF! - chose two lamps for their living room. One is quite a large one that stands on the floor with a tall coloured glass base and quite plain shade, in more or less the same colour as their feature wall. The other is a large table lamp with a simple dark wood base and a patterned shade. The rest of the room is a very classic, plain arrangement- brown leather sofas, mid- oak shade floor, 3 off white walls and one feature wall in a strong colour. But those two lamps really make it look striking.

I can't imagine being jealous of this type of thing. When DB bought a house, he did it up and it was lovely...I was thinking this looks great and was full of admiration.

It inspired me to tidy up my place and give it an uplift.

Jealousy is feeling unhappy, resentful, or fearful due to suspected rivalry, or wanting someone else's advantages.

Is that how you feel?

Ah op!!! Your home does reflect your personality! And as you say it’s really lovely. I have no sense of style so was happy to engage the services of an interior design person. As I was expecting and scheduled to move 6 weeks before the baby arrived she was given a brief and a budget and viola! Everyone who visits always comments and I upfront about having to delegate.

IKEA and next both have in-house interior decorators with no obligation to buy. Why don’t you send some snaps in tell them what you want to keep and what you would like to add even if it’s soft furnishings? They will second you atleast 2 mood boards so you have an idea! Our interior designer did a nursery for us which is absolutely stunning but our 17 month old has outgrown it so only tip o have here is future proofing!!!

That's not the impression from the OP's post.
One can be pleased for a friend, and also a little jealous at the same time.

Advice would be to genuinely develop an interest in interiors. If you don’t, which it sounds like you don’t, then you sort of have to develop it to even learn how to construct a room and figure out what your taste even is. Buy a copy of World of Interiors or something, and start from absolute scratch.

If your partner would say no to you bringing “crazy” decorative things into the home then I hate to say it but your home is a reflection of the people living in it: safe and practical, and without much eye/taste.
When houses genuinely look great and full of personality that is because the owners have a lot of personality and a strong sense of style, often intellectual. It’s not something you can replicate from a John Lewis consultation or mimicking a Pinterest board.

John Lewis has a free interior design service.

You can take on board some of the suggestions here if you want to change your house . But don't put yourself down . You are not boring . You are calm and content with your home . And as you had input from your DH he obviously is also content with your home .

@NeverMindMee coming back to this thread as i've been thinking about it.

I think it would really help you if you could identify what sort of style you like. In an ideal world without a dh or dc or budgets to consider.

Do you like country cottage, farmhouse, grand house, minimalist, modern, mid-century, arts & crafts, beach house, log cabin, Nancy Myers film houses etc etc

I know most real life houses are a hodge podge of styles & are not decorated like a film set but they often lean towards one sort of style or another & this can be a great starting point

If i could wave a magic wand i would love a Nancy Myersesque farmhouse aesthetic

Pinterest really is good for this. There are, unfortunately, a lot of AI images now but even they can still inspire. My taste is too all over the place, one minute I want a vibe that feels like you’ve walked into The White Company, the next I want pinks and floral wallpaper. To try and organise my chaotic design thoughts I have several Pinterest boards to help. I now know more the direction I want to go in when I downsize (cottage aesthetic).

Jealous in this instance is probably more like a wistful wish to be more creative and daring, rather than an emotional outburst of green eyed monster. I have a friend who has a tiny two up two down (whereas I have a 4 bed detached) and I am always jealous wistfully envious of her house because she has such gorgeous taste and creative ability. I wouldn’t call what I feel negative at all.

Don't decorate around your kids - tell them to respect the home they live in! I'd probably draw the line at a cream sofa but aside from that, I decorate how I wish and expect them to look after my house. And I have a 2 year old at the moment before anyone asks! Not a chance I'd spend on a sofa or carpets that I didn't like...

You can’t be that boring if you can at least tell
something isn’t quite “you” about your house!

Maybe consider swapping some easy bits? Throws, pillows, frames… things that can be easily swapped around.

You don't need chatgpt to tell you what you like.

I think lots of people decorate their homes with half an eye on selling it - so it looks neutral and practical instead of being something they love and they end up with some variation on a Kelly Hoppen style beige palace. My DP and I took the executive decision to really live in our home the way we want to. Our rooms are green and blue and pink - matching tonally but rich and vibrant in their own right. Velvet sofas, large area rugs, long flowing curtains, dramatic art, wooden floors. If you’re going to be there for more than 5 years create the home you want to live in, not the home you want to sell.

The fact that you say you didn't think about it at all when you bought things like sofas and carpets other than durability is telling OP. That suggests that you're focused on practicality rather than style.....but it sounds like you want to find your style if you are calling your home boring.

I am the opposite pretty much, I have a Pinterest board for home decor ideas and each room of our house is painted a different colour with lots of "quirky" decor. Many, many people would hate it but we love it and our home is a reflection of us. It seems a shame for you to not love your home too.

It's not about the age of your kids. Ours were a baby and a toddler when we moved here and started doing the house up. Practical doesn't have to be boring, the soft furnishings or artwork aren't affected by the age of our children.

What I would say is that a few tweaks can dramatically change the vibe of a room. Our living room is the only room in our house that's actually pretty neutral in major decor......wooden floor, pale painted walls, grey sofas. BUT it is really comfortable and cosy and feels like us because of the massive, colourful rug, the cushions, curtains, the floor lamp and table lamp, the art on every wall that we love, the blankets on the sofas, the plants etc. It's basically all in the little things that together add colour and warmth and cosiness.

If I took the paintings off the walls, removed the rug and plants and turned the big light on instead of the lamps (shudder) it would feel like a completely different room.

You do NOT need an interior designer. There's no point paying someone hundreds of pounds to give you something that isn't even "yours" and is a collection of stuff provided to you rather than that you've sourced or planned for or thought about. Maybe just start by looking for one painting that really speaks to you and that makes you smile when you look at it. Hang that up and see how you feel, then go from there.

Our house was quite boring but as kids aren’t little anymore I’ve spent more time on Pinterest and instagram and started to inject more personality. We are moving shortly from a period house to a house with less character so I’ve been researching ways to add character though paint, accessories, furniture etc. it doesn’t take too much - art, plants, paint colours. Have fun with it!