To be incredibly jealous of friends home?

Instead of feeling down, use your friend's house as inspiration!

Actually - having a plain, simple home could be a great canvas for a bold, colourful feature that could really pop.

Like a brightly painted wall, or a fabulous pendant light or two, or some stunning wall textiles. Less is more and some well-placed high-quality well designed features go a very long way.

Write a list of ideas down of things you all like, your favourite colour combos, artists, designers etc and what gives your family personality and use AI (take a photo and ask AI to design in XYZ) to visualise in situ- have some fun planning with your family.

Jealousy is always unreasonable.

There is a saying, "If you don't like where you are, move. You are not a tree."

If unsure how to go about it, or who to ask etc, there are so many resources that can assist.

One of the biggest barriers to change is ourselves. Our fear of the unknown, our insecurities, not having the right life experience, education etc.

This is where jealousy comes in. Because people have overcome our fears or obstacles and gotten the end result we desire.

That being said, Pinterest is useful for interior design.

Also, if you like colours but don't know how to put them together, I have found that if you type something like, red, purple orange interior design ideas into your search bar, you will get tons of photos and articles for inspiration.

I’m the same as the above poster who loves going to peoples interior designed colourful houses and often wish I could have that kind of time money and inspiration to do mine.

Then I get home to my simple plain (but does have colour) home and I’m glad it’s what I have as I feel calm.

Attempting to ‘reflect’ our personality sounds artificial. To me it’s more about knowing and tuning into what we love or need — and owning that. If you love and need order and simplicity — that’s just what is authentic to you. Perhaps just notice more how you feel about what you want to see around you and live with. Trust yourself — we’re all different. I have friends with a multitude of tastes and perspectives and the most joyful people to be around are those that are unapologetically themselves, in different areas of their lives.

I feel my way in shaping my environment — taking inspiration from the period of our home, how we live, what we’re drawn to individually and as a family and we enjoy making a feature of our loves and interests. Some people are delighted by our home and others can’t cope with a space that isn’t curated to the finest detail. I don’t care — it’s our space to live in how it suits us.

Mine is the same - it tells our story of the countries we've lived in and the experiences we've had there. It also reflects our different cultures and personalities. Bespoke artwork, unique pieces created just for us, etc.

Sounds more like you are jealous of her ability rather than what she has. Could you take some kind of creativity lessons? To explore how to find your style and how to put things together that work well. For some people this comes naturally for others it’s something that can be learned.

And what if you make it 'yours' then need/want to sell further down the line? @carly2803 are you suggesting that you depersonalise every previous decorating choice ahead of selling?!? That seems crazy, imo.

If you've added quality wallpapers and paints (we've got some lovely wallpapers that retail between £150-200 per roll and our paint is Edward Bulmer, Little Greene, Farrow & Ball), surely there's no way you'd want to rip all that out to replace with bland magnolia or greige, in case anything more niche puts a buyer off? I know I wouldn't (and except my one example up thread, never have as it was a complete waste of effort/expense)!

Make it your own and have the confidence of your convictions to keep it that way 😁

Don’t take the sensible option, pick what you love. I am like your friend and a new build would absolutely not do for me as I love character but I think you can still get some individuality in with the right colour choices and pieces of furniture etc.

That said, not everyone has an eye for these things, it may be wise to get some professional advice or start looking at houses similar to yours that have managed to achieve what you’re looking for.

Is your friend’s house an older property?

Have you thought about using artwork prints on the walls. Not too expensive and they can really give personality without having to commit too much money.

It’s just that it’s not either/or, I suppose. There’s nothing more ‘sensible’ about neutral paint compared to a strong colour —child-related scuffs less evident, for instance. Ditto lamps rather than ceiling lights. Or floorboards and rugs — much easier to take a rug to the cleaners if a child pukes on it.

Well firstly making sensible choices is… well sensible! Good for you!

Secondly why don’t you ask your friend for some help? Ask to go thrifting with her. Or invite her around for tea and pick her brains! Ask her where she shops and what inspires her.

At the end of the day everyone’s different aren’t they? For most people if you have a comfortable home then that’s brill. For others they’re incredible arty and love doing their homes up. There’s no right and wrong!

Definitely see this!! And totally normal feeling. But it could just be the novelty I suppose? I find houses like this amazing to see, but would I want to live in one? Absolutely not. I like a peaceful and less loud environment

use chat gpt - i do this a lot and it gives me tons of ideas to re create my rooms!
and its free!

You live in your home, make it YOURS. Long as you are not planning to sell soon, make it your own

Why don't you invite her over to help you design something that is you? Be honest with her and explain that you are really impressed with her decor and tell her you have realised that your home doesn't have a personality and it makes you sad. I don't know how close you are but maybe see if she would care to join you in looking in thrift stores etc and it would be great opportunity to catch up and maybe have a girls lunch too.
Most people would feel really flattered to be asked

I have a family member who is an interior designer, has a beautiful home and a decent budget, no young kids and time to develop their home. It's gorgeous and I'm happy for them, but it would be a complete waste of money for us to spend that much. We have children, one with disabilities which creates mess. I just enjoy going there, but we need something completely different for our type of living.

I tried to buy stuff for my home today and just felt overwhelmed and hated it. I just don't have a good eye or patience for it.

I have a husband like yours. The trick is to add new things with some colour gradually. Buy a decent picture with a colour that you'd like to highlight, then after a bit get a lampshsde in the colour, then get a friend/relative to buy you a cushion or two in colours you like and so on. Soon you will have more colourful/interesting rooms but still have a calm mostly neutral feel.

I found starting a Pinterest board to be really helpful. Pick out everything that appeals to you, after searching 'boho living room' or 'pastel bedroom' or 'Scandi kitchen' or whatever you want to explore. You don't have to copy everything, but it will start showing you want you like, and where your interests lie.

And building a beautiful home doesn't have to be a two-week job. I have a friend similar to yours who makes everywhere she lives instantly gorgeous, but I take years and years - getting a slightly more colourful paint next time we re-paint, or a brighter rug as the kids got older and could be trusted.

It can be really small touches, and you can experiment! If you get charity shop stuff, it's not a disaster if you try something and it doesn't work out: vases, rugs, picture frames, cushion covers, they can all be cheap but a cluster of two or three can make a room feel totally different. And mounting photos too - framing shops charge £2-4 for a beautiful brightly coloured mount, which turns a boring frame and photo into something really eye-catching and different.

I love my home now, but it's taken years of all this (Pinterest boards, experimenting, cheap things, building up courage). Good luck, OP!

@Marble10

I hope you don’t mind me asking, but are you American? The reason I ask is that I hear US people talk about ‘pillows’ on a sofa in US home decor programmes whereas in the U.K. we only tend to use the term ‘pillows’ for the pillows your head rests on in bed. On a sofa, they’re ‘cushions’.

Or am I wrong? Do other British people use cushion and pillow interchangeably?

Forgive me, I’m obsessed!!

Collect photos from mags or Pinterest that capture your interest and you'll start to see patterns in the kinds of things you like and might be able to do - even little tweaks

Totally agree with this! I was looking back at old photos last week (in albums, not on my phone or computer lol!) at when DS who's now a hulking six-footer, was a toddler.

The living room of our then three-bed Victorian terrace had pink walls (coincidentally I just painted our snug walls a similar shade in our 'new' home), light blue carpet, grey-blue velvet sofas and bold blue/pink floral blinds. There were loads of fab original features in that house - a wall of bifold panelled doors (painted blue) between front and back reception rooms, slate surround fireplace and ornately plastered ceiling - which we used as our inspiration for the taxidermy butterflies, art deco ceiling light, massive clock garniture set inherited from my grandparents and Scandinavian side tables I found in a second hand shop as a student.

DS was taught to respect our stuff from an early age and discouraged from drawing on anything except paper provided for the purpose. Nothing got broken, except by our naughty cats...who didn't understand our 'look, but don't touch, unless supervised' rule 😆

This ^

We've moved lots of times, always bought renovation projects and some we knew we'd probably sell when they were done. We didn't specifically buy to flip, but just knew they weren't going to be the 'forever' home! The longest we've lived anywhere is ten years, the shortest about three years.

However, we've never really been sucked into the 'what would future buyers want?' mind set - instead we always decorate for us.

Imo, whilst it does make your home a bit more niche, when it comes to selling you have a property that is easily memorable, standing out in a sea of bland, greige properties. Our buyers have purchased because they loved (for example) our unique kitchen - and I know from speaking with friends living near places we've sold that in some instances they've changed very little, even 10+ years on.

The only time we took decor advice from our EA was whilst selling our Victorian family home a few years back. They suggested we paint our lovely deep raspberry coloured bathroom walls cream (which looked hideous) as potential buyers would prefer this. We later met our buyers who said the only thing they planned to change in the 3500 sq ft house was the bland bathroom walls. When we confided we'd changed the colour from raspberry on the advice of our EA, they said they'd have preferred that 🙄

I’ma not like your friend. I just have a way with colour and design and get a huge amount of pleasure from personalising my home. The chimney breast in my living room is paired with illustrations from a vintage “wildflowers of the world “ reference book that I found in a charity shop. The cover was damaged so I removed the pages, but then to a standard size and used them as wallpaper. Then done the other walls in a plum and teal. Loads of house plants, my own art Adhd favourite pieces by other people and mood lighting and an overflowing book selection on my Welsh dresser and it’s got a lovely homey feel.

Would you be brave enough to post a photo of your sitting room OP?

Not at all. Perhaps the cosy reading corner with a small set of bookshelves that has a selection of children's and adults' books might be a good place to start. Both shelves and books can be bought cheaply at charity shops and it would be good for your children to get into the habit of reading and you might discover a new love of reading, too. A small table with a lamp and soft chairs and cushions will make a big difference to the ambience of your home and, again, charity shops are your friend. I have collections of different ornaments and all are neatly displayed, with many, again, coming from charity shops. Plants can also make a difference. I am sure others don't share my tastes but it really doesn't matter.

My house is more like your friends and my interior design rule is that if I like it then obviously it will go with all the rest of the stuff that I like - I never try to match things up. I am also brave with colour - it’s easy to change if it doesn’t work. I am quite a maximalist though - the minimalists would hate my house and I’m ok with that!