hoping to get more responses by making this post a bit shorter
i have posted before about dd, and i need some outsider opinions on whether i’ve let too much slide. If you know the story fast forward to the end if you want
As soon as dd met her bf, was instantly a different child, she stopped handing in homework, her attitude towards school changed and she was getting detentions for rudeness, she was truanting lessons with her bf and she skipped school a few times (she got the bus so she’d leave as normal but didn’t go). She came home having smoked weed with him the once she was 14 and i wasn’t happy . We weren’t getting along and after an argument dd went to live with her dad where she got more freedom due to his work schedule and was able to invite the bf over whenever. She was living with him for about 6 months and only moved back in after she found our she was pregnant and she was adamant she wanted to keep the baby from the off. Social services aren't involved and never have been
The bf doesn't have a good home life, he lives with his dad and brothers (his mum is still alibe though) he often says his dad doesn't care about where he is or what he does. He isn’t someone I can have a conversation with. I did when i told him that dd was pregnant and he basically said how did he know his son was the dad and called her a slag, none of his family have met baby. They’d constantly break up/get back together after him saying he’ll change etc, dd caught him out in a lie whilst she was pregnant and that was the final straw and he didn’t like he’d been caught out or broken up with and he kept waiting for dd at hee bus stop etc and got his friends involved too. in the end dd blocked him and they had no contact until jan.
He was at the birth alongside dd’s dad ans baby is now nearly 8 weeks old. i allow him to come over and i have been allowing him to sleepover, my friend thinfs this is unreasonable but i don’t know how to handle this. I don’t want to push dd away. I have spoken to her a few days ago and she has admitted they’re back together (which im not super pleased about) but has said she doesn’t “forgive” him and he knows that and he said he’s willing to prove he’s changed, he’s talking about finding a job when he’s 15 in a few weeks though i don’t know how successful that will be.
She’s said they’re not having sex but shut down all contraception talk, she recently had her 6 weeks old check though so i hope they would’ve spoken about it there.
How often would you allow him to come over? And is it U to allow him to sleep over? I’m trying to navigate this without pushing her away and i don’t know what to do for the best as whatever i do feels like it’s wrong.