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Original poster

AIBU to Be Angry With Co-Parent’s Partner?

255 replies

SnowyPolarBear9 · 09/04/2026 11:51

For context; same sex parents to one child. Co-parent is now with someone else (also same sex) and they’ve been together for approx 4 1/2 years.

My 9yo son recently told some fibs about co-parent’s partner suggesting/recommending films and series to him that were age rated 12 and 15. The rule is with me that if something has an age rating, he’s not allowed to watch it until he is 1 year younger (e.g age rating 12 he can’t watch until he’s 11).

Our son was spoken to by both of us (parents) about the situation and the seriousness of telling fibs etc. However my son has later told me that co-parent’s partner spoke to him on the phone about it, and said she wouldn’t be seeing him for a number of weeks because of the fibs he had told and that he had to stop them for her to see him again.

AIBU to be fuming with this? 😡

Firstly, for anyone to impose this type of punishment where they refuse to see the child I find absolutely disgusting. But she’s also not a big part of his life, co-parent and her partner don’t live together and the time co-parent’s partner spends with/sees my son is minimal. In the 4 and 1/2 years she’s been around, I think he’s spent overnight with her once.

I’m so upset by this as based on their dynamic and admittedly low-involvement relationship, I just don’t appreciate her “punishing” him. Plus, even if it was someone extremely close to him, I’d be appalled at such a cruel approach!

I’m trying to draft a message to the co-parent about it but I just can’t get my thoughts out properly in writing and I also want to know if I’m being unreasonable!

Thanks in advance 🙌🏻

OP posts:
SimonWigglesBaratoneVoice · 09/04/2026 12:03

I don't blame her. You're downplaying what he did, and now you're anger is entirely directed at her over saying she doesn't want to be near a child telling lies about her.

Besides which it's a bit of a stupid rule anyway imo. Surely you just take each film on its merits rather than give a blanket "one year before the age rating says", i genuinely don't get the point in that at all.

BudgetBuster · 09/04/2026 12:00

I think you need to stop and consider her in this..."fib". Your child MADE UP LIES about this person. While they might be small now, if not nipped in the bud immediately your child's LIES will grow arms and legs which can be very damaging to this person.

So yes, your child need repercussions. And if you can't be arsed, that's fine, but don't expect the person whose life and reputation he might damage to stand by and let it happen.

Badgersandfoxes · 09/04/2026 11:59

Nope. I’m with her. She’s right.

worldshottestmom · 09/04/2026 11:56

I think you first need to address why your 9 year old son is telling lies in the first place that could have implications on the adults life.

crowfollower · 09/04/2026 11:56

No, she is dead right. He needs repercussions for telling lies. This could be detrimental for her. What lies will he make up next? Good on her for taking this approach. If she doesn't see him, she cannot make up lies about her to make her look bad. Exactly the consequence he needs.