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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU / Ridiculous re putting extra mileage on my car

339 replies

MileageWoes · 09/04/2026 11:28

DH works from home, I work full time in the office. He is having major car trouble and will be without a car for the next few weeks. Obviously he doesn't need a car for work but he has a hobby that he travels to so is using my car morning and evening to do this. It's a 40 mile round trip, twice a day so means that he's putting over 500 miles extra on my car every week! I think he should cut back to once a day until he gets his own car back and he thinks I am being very unreasonable as it will only be for 3/4 weeks.

I WILL NOT BE DISCLOSING WHAT THE HOBBY IS! (I don't want to out myself and it's really really not relevant to my question)

OP posts:
Catwalking · 09/04/2026 17:04

I’d make my H hire a car for himself….
Doesn’t the garage doing the work on the husbands car have cars he can hire?
Typical man to assume he can have his wife’s vehicle instead of being organised about his ‘hobby’ & his desperate need to access it?

Glittertwins · 09/04/2026 16:55

PixelDreamer · 09/04/2026 11:37

Horses...

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My DC’s training is twice a day multiple times a week and is approx 30 mile round trip (not horses!)

Kokonimater · 09/04/2026 16:54

This is weird. And yes you’re totally unreasonable. When your old car gives up completely surely he’ll help you get a replacement?

Allthegoodhorses · 09/04/2026 16:47

Imdunfer · 09/04/2026 16:44

Owning a horse on DIY livery. I hope I haven't guessed correctly otherwise the OP might remove the thread. Please feel free to ask for a deletion @MileageWoes

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It's already been stated quite a few times that it is nothing to do with horses..............

Imdunfer · 09/04/2026 16:44

PsychoHotSauce · 09/04/2026 11:35

500 miles a week. Apparently. I'm struggling to work out what kind of hobby would need attendance twice a day, every day though.

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Owning a horse on DIY livery. I hope I haven't guessed correctly otherwise the OP might remove the thread. Please feel free to ask for a deletion @MileageWoes

Changename12 · 09/04/2026 16:44

It wouldn’t bother me at all and it wouldn’t bother my husband if I drove his because we share finances. However he does need to get his car mended/replaced.
Depending on the hobby, I might be concerned about his time spent on it and if he was opting out of family life.

Frostynoman · 09/04/2026 16:34

I understand your concern about expediting the end of your cars life - 2000 miles a month is excessive however as a couple myself and partner drive loads and have amassed well over 450,000 miles in the last decade and not once thought about who’s car should be used less so I’m going to go with the consensus here and say it’s a hobby problem more than car wear and tear

Rachelshair · 09/04/2026 16:29

likelysuspect · 09/04/2026 14:05

You think 2k miles is a lot of mileage to the degree it affects tyres and brake pads?

We can rack that up easily a week on holiday. Wouldnt think twice.

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Yes, as they last for a set amount of miles eg 10k so will need replacing sooner if the car is driven more.

KnickerlessParsons · 09/04/2026 16:24

My guess is cold water swimming.

3luckystars · 09/04/2026 16:09

How can she get rid of her car when she needs it for work?

He is back before she goes to work, and takes it again when she comes home from work.

Thats my understanding and if you don’t need your car for work then having cars when neither of you need them for work is insane.

Do the maths. Move beside the river or stable or girlfriend he visits every day.

MrThorpeHazell · 09/04/2026 16:07

Get rid of your car then your mileage problems will disappear.

HTH.

3luckystars · 09/04/2026 16:06

Yes if he cycled to his hobby that would sort a lot of problems.

TherapistInATabard · 09/04/2026 15:59

I thought rowing, @ChrisTheBastard !

I think I’d be more worried about the cost of fuel at the moment (have mostly only read the OP’s posts, so I’m probably not the first to mention this!).

Left · 09/04/2026 15:55

Is it yodelling?

ChrisTheBastard · 09/04/2026 15:55

Zov · 09/04/2026 12:05

I know right. There would be no free time to do anything else, ever.

As I said though, I can't think of any hobby that would involve two 40 mile round trips a DAY, every day of the week. Not one.

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Rowing? My DS has started it this year and he trains 6 times a week and he's 14. If the OP's DH is rowing in his own crew and coaching some junior crews too then this is entirely possible (thinking about DS's coach who seemingly must live at the boathouse despite having a demanding job).

Our car's mileage has increased from 7k per year to a projected 22k this year. My goal is to get it to 200k miles which frankly won't be much more than 18m away. 500 miles a week, for a month or 6 weeks isn't much, but if that continues it'll add up quickly

Tortephant · 09/04/2026 15:47

You are married, they are “your” cars. If the extra mileage will cause an issue due to a PCP or whatever then hire one for a month if the other one of YOUR cars is off the road. Or spend £2k on something that won’t loose any value to get your through.

HazelMember · 09/04/2026 15:23

Golf?

Mansionscoldandgrey · 09/04/2026 15:22

Tell him to take up cycling - it won't be as outing as his current hobby

TheChosenTwo · 09/04/2026 15:22

Glad you’ve seen the light op, dh would keep putting petrol in to make sure he didn’t leave mine without any for when I needed it and I’ve no idea how many miles my old car has done (I think it’s 20 years old!), this would not be something I got irate about. He does enough other things that piss me off, I don’t need more excuses 😂

Original poster
MileageWoes · 09/04/2026 15:20

So you are happy to benefit from using his car when it's available but not keen to share yours? This seems oddly mean and unreasonable.
Just to point out, it is entirely his choice to use his own car when possible. He is only using mine at the moment as his is getting work done. And often I would choose to use my own car as I find his too big for parking etc. but if we are going on a long journey it makes sense to use his and that is his preference.

I agree with others, if the issue is the hobby, address the issue. Don't deflect into petty arguments about car millage.
Yes, I have already said this is the root of the issue really and I see that I have been unreasonable/petty to make an issue of the mileage.

OP posts:
Skybluepinky · 09/04/2026 15:19

Sounds like you hate his hobby but won’t disclose what it is, so are enjoying the fact you could be in control for a while.

itsgettingweird · 09/04/2026 15:18

Yes I thought swimming.

ds and I do 4 days of running to the pool twice and a day of just once. He has 2 days off!

that why we are out at 4.30am 5 days a week!

Or he could be a Swim coach volunteer as he enjoys it?

GreyfriarsJobbies · 09/04/2026 15:17

Ally886 · 09/04/2026 15:02

Twenty thousand. Not two. Twenty. That will seriously impact depreciation of a vehicle. Mine would lose an extra £2,500 per year doing 20k Vs 10k miles

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500 miles per week x 4 weeks = 2000 miles. Which on an already old small car will amount to the square root of naff all.

Bjorkdidit · 09/04/2026 15:16

Myfavouritecolourisanimalprint · 09/04/2026 14:58

Is it racing pigeons? If so, the mileage is probably the least of your worries

???

Is racing pigeons commonly used as cover for something nefarious?

LBFseBrom · 09/04/2026 15:13

5foot5 · 09/04/2026 11:30

I don't have a strong opinion about the car mileage but I am sure I won't be the only one agog about a hobby he does twice a day, every day. Potentially HIBU for that.

Just what I rhought.