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AIBU?

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AIBU / Ridiculous re putting extra mileage on my car

339 replies

MileageWoes · 09/04/2026 11:28

DH works from home, I work full time in the office. He is having major car trouble and will be without a car for the next few weeks. Obviously he doesn't need a car for work but he has a hobby that he travels to so is using my car morning and evening to do this. It's a 40 mile round trip, twice a day so means that he's putting over 500 miles extra on my car every week! I think he should cut back to once a day until he gets his own car back and he thinks I am being very unreasonable as it will only be for 3/4 weeks.

I WILL NOT BE DISCLOSING WHAT THE HOBBY IS! (I don't want to out myself and it's really really not relevant to my question)

OP posts:
WilfredsPies · 10/04/2026 18:45

I think he’s a miniature steam railway enthusiast somewhere that is open to the public, so he goes there first and last thing to turn them on and turn them back off again (or whatever you do with steam trains). Either that or he volunteers at an animal rescue and is responsible for cleaning out and feeding.

Whether or not you’re being unreasonable depends on other factors. Is your car on its last legs and with a mileage based insurance policy? If so, then I don’t blame you for not wanting an extra 2k miles on it. If not, then you’re being a bit mean. A bigger issue for me would be him sodding off out for five evenings a week. You must be like ships passing in the night. When do you get any quality time together? And when is he doing his share of household stuff? It doesn’t sound like much fun for you.

auserna · 10/04/2026 18:41

toomuchfaff · 09/04/2026 11:32

You're begrudging your DH use of the car for a hobby they enjoy because its resulting in 500 annual miles.

That seems ridiculous to me. What is wrong with your marriage that 500 miles on the car is a breaking point?

What is wrong with your reading comprehension that you interpret the OP as saying her DH is adding 500 miles a year? She said 500 miles a week.

watchingthishtread · 10/04/2026 18:39

80 miles a day for a hobby? Is the hobby driving?

Not what you asked, but if the hobby is that important and that frequent I'd consider moving closer to it.

The mileage on the car wouldn't bother me but the car being unavailable for that amount of time might.

JoyousLilacFawn · 10/04/2026 18:32

TheMillionthBeautyAddict · 09/04/2026 11:31

Sorry when is he actually working (or is he a roadie for The Proclaimers?!?!)

I was wondering this too! Nice that he
has so much leisure time apparently. Do you have any time together if he’s doing this hobby twice a day?!?

SparklyLeader · 10/04/2026 18:24

How many miles do you have on your car and what year is it? Whatever issues your vehicle has hidden will likely start to show up after 1500 miles if it has over 50,000 miles. It reads like your car is not new. 1500 miles on a new car is nothing. 1500 miles on a car with over 50,000 miles might be a different story.

Do you still have a warranty on your vehicle? If so, him putting that much mileage on your car in so short a period of time could really truncate the service or raise the cost of service you receive for a repair that 1500 miles earlier would have been under warranty. That's not a little thing, at all. I once had to have an entire transmission replaced, very expensive, but still under warranty, so my cost? Zero. Warranties can be very important. Running them out faster is a cost risk.

What about your car insurance? Dependent upon the policy, vehicle insurers can dun their customers for excess mileage.

Wear and tear on tires, how new or old are your tires? Fluids? After 1500 miles you might want to see if you need an oil change, not earth shattering, but a cost nonetheless, as are steering or brake fluid if you have not had them replaced recently.

Is there a note on the vehicle? Does joint income pay it? Do you each pay for repairs on your vehicles separately or from joint funds?

It's a hobby, not a career, by definition, he can miss it more than once. Come to an arrangement that cuts the mileage to one third if you have any concerns about the issues above.

PsychoHotSauce · 10/04/2026 18:22

JJWT · 10/04/2026 18:14

Maybe it involves tending to a horse? That was my first thought. Seems insane to be fishing or playing golf twice a day. If it involves caring for an animal then that would explain why it has to be daily.

If this were a Netflix drama, he'd have someone kidnapped in a storage unit somewhere that he has to feed twice a day.

Honestly, whatever it is it's some hobby. I wouldn't commute to a job 40 miles away. He does this for fun??

GoldenGail · 10/04/2026 18:19

toomuchfaff · 09/04/2026 11:32

You're begrudging your DH use of the car for a hobby they enjoy because its resulting in 500 annual miles.

That seems ridiculous to me. What is wrong with your marriage that 500 miles on the car is a breaking point?

Its 500 per week for several weeks ..not annual. Her insurance might not cover that

JJWT · 10/04/2026 18:14

PsychoHotSauce · 09/04/2026 11:35

500 miles a week. Apparently. I'm struggling to work out what kind of hobby would need attendance twice a day, every day though.

Maybe it involves tending to a horse? That was my first thought. Seems insane to be fishing or playing golf twice a day. If it involves caring for an animal then that would explain why it has to be daily.

Blondeshavemorefun · 10/04/2026 18:12

That’s some dedication. Twice a day and 20m each way

trying to think what hobby it can be

yes putting 500m on a week for 3/4w so a possible 1500/2000m is a lot and wear and tear esp on an older car

OneUniqueScroller · 10/04/2026 18:00

if it doesn’t impact a lease/pcp then yeah YABU, who cares

TheLurpackYears · 10/04/2026 17:52

You are married, it’s a marital asset.

PloddingAlong21 · 10/04/2026 17:17

its only a few weeks. It won’t change the value of the car.

However….really intrigued as to this long distance hobby. The mind boggles!

Can you start a new thread where we can all take bets and you give us clues?

Boomer55 · 10/04/2026 17:10

toomuchfaff · 09/04/2026 11:32

You're begrudging your DH use of the car for a hobby they enjoy because its resulting in 500 annual miles.

That seems ridiculous to me. What is wrong with your marriage that 500 miles on the car is a breaking point?

This. Marriage is a partnership.🙄

Baroloandbluecheese · 10/04/2026 17:09

TheMillionthBeautyAddict · 09/04/2026 11:31

Sorry when is he actually working (or is he a roadie for The Proclaimers?!?!)

😂

Paganpentacle · 10/04/2026 17:01

luckylavender · 10/04/2026 15:16

Horses

Yep.
5 times I was at the yard yesterday... luckily its only 5 mins away.

Paganpentacle · 10/04/2026 17:01

TheMillionthBeautyAddict · 09/04/2026 11:31

Sorry when is he actually working (or is he a roadie for The Proclaimers?!?!)

😂

Ireallywantadoughnut36 · 10/04/2026 16:58

I think this is tricky, my husband has an aging car and we reckon (it's on 120 000 miles) it's maybe got another 5 or 10 thousand miles in it. If I "used up" 2000 sooner then we'd need a new one sooner. Having said that, it's our joint money that'd pay for it, and legally as we are married it all belongs to both of us - we just run our family finances that way. So for me, it's more a chat of "well we will have to buy me a new car sooner if we add the miles on - have we agreed a budget for that and saved the money/do we have a plan". If his view is "well thats your problem/you need to have your own money for that" then I can see that issue and you're fair to say no. If you combine savings and both your finances go to both your cars - then it isn't a problem.

Pherian · 10/04/2026 16:42

MileageWoes · 09/04/2026 11:28

DH works from home, I work full time in the office. He is having major car trouble and will be without a car for the next few weeks. Obviously he doesn't need a car for work but he has a hobby that he travels to so is using my car morning and evening to do this. It's a 40 mile round trip, twice a day so means that he's putting over 500 miles extra on my car every week! I think he should cut back to once a day until he gets his own car back and he thinks I am being very unreasonable as it will only be for 3/4 weeks.

I WILL NOT BE DISCLOSING WHAT THE HOBBY IS! (I don't want to out myself and it's really really not relevant to my question)

I’m wouldn’t do it.

luckylavender · 10/04/2026 15:16

5foot5 · 09/04/2026 11:30

I don't have a strong opinion about the car mileage but I am sure I won't be the only one agog about a hobby he does twice a day, every day. Potentially HIBU for that.

Horses

TheChosenTwo · 10/04/2026 15:14

LoudTealHare · 10/04/2026 15:09

I suspect he may have a horse that needs care twice a day 🤔

I mean op ruled that out a while ago. I guess she could be lying?!

LoudTealHare · 10/04/2026 15:09

PsychoHotSauce · 09/04/2026 11:35

500 miles a week. Apparently. I'm struggling to work out what kind of hobby would need attendance twice a day, every day though.

I suspect he may have a horse that needs care twice a day 🤔

WhatWouldDianeLockhartDo · 10/04/2026 15:01

Rachie1973 · 09/04/2026 21:16

Noooo. Look at the facts.

needs a car.
drives to a specific place
could be outing if revealed

It’s dogging innit!

I could believe it… if it wasn’t twice a day! You’d be knackered!

BuildbyNumbere · 10/04/2026 14:39

It’s for a few weeks … not forever

aaahshoot · 10/04/2026 09:42

Manxexile · 09/04/2026 21:16

A round of golf is probably a minimum of 2.5 to 3 hours. That twice a day plus 2 round trips of 40 miles each.

That's a total of 7 - 8 hours per day

Yeah. Men, eh? I’d definitely pull him up on that Smile

ThatLemonBee · 09/04/2026 23:42

And ? 500 mikes is nothing I do that in one week . It’s your husband not a friend or someone else

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