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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU / Ridiculous re putting extra mileage on my car

339 replies

MileageWoes · 09/04/2026 11:28

DH works from home, I work full time in the office. He is having major car trouble and will be without a car for the next few weeks. Obviously he doesn't need a car for work but he has a hobby that he travels to so is using my car morning and evening to do this. It's a 40 mile round trip, twice a day so means that he's putting over 500 miles extra on my car every week! I think he should cut back to once a day until he gets his own car back and he thinks I am being very unreasonable as it will only be for 3/4 weeks.

I WILL NOT BE DISCLOSING WHAT THE HOBBY IS! (I don't want to out myself and it's really really not relevant to my question)

OP posts:
Firesidechatter · 10/04/2026 21:10

Moaning5 · 10/04/2026 20:55

Twice a day - every day - horses 💯

Good grief, why are people repeatedly suggesting horses when the ops clearly stated it’s not horses, it’s not hard to read her posts at least.

Moaning5 · 10/04/2026 20:55

Twice a day - every day - horses 💯

PyongyangKipperbang · 10/04/2026 20:49

Blueuggboots · 10/04/2026 20:22

@katepilarthats my average mileage for the month, including work and everything.

I was pointing out the amount of mileage the OP does really isn’t much at all. I wasn’t aware there is a law to how many exclamation marks I can use.

“Multiple exclamation marks,' he went on, shaking his head, 'are a sure sign of a diseased mind.”
― Terry Pratchett, Eric

Blueuggboots · 10/04/2026 20:22

@katepilarthats my average mileage for the month, including work and everything.

I was pointing out the amount of mileage the OP does really isn’t much at all. I wasn’t aware there is a law to how many exclamation marks I can use.

caringcarer · 10/04/2026 20:20

toomuchfaff · 09/04/2026 11:32

You're begrudging your DH use of the car for a hobby they enjoy because its resulting in 500 annual miles.

That seems ridiculous to me. What is wrong with your marriage that 500 miles on the car is a breaking point?

Read the post properly its 500 miles a week for 4 weeks so 2000 miles.

katepilar · 10/04/2026 20:07

Blueuggboots · 09/04/2026 11:51

I really couldn’t get worked up about this. As long as he pays for the fuel.

I do 1100 miles a month!!! Every month.

He is doing over 2250 a month so why did you put three exclamation marks to your 1100?
Are you also doing it for your hobby?

croydon15 · 10/04/2026 20:01

As it's only for a few weeks l think that you are bu, surely you share things as you are married or it is "don't touch my things", if that's the case it's not much of a marriage.

PyongyangKipperbang · 10/04/2026 19:58

OP has already said that it isnt horses.

themonkeysnuts · 10/04/2026 19:55

As long as he puts petrol in it, and your not over your annual mileage why the moaning

PyongyangKipperbang · 10/04/2026 19:52

I dont think YABU at all! 2000 extra miles a MONTH for something that isnt essential is absolutely ridiculous.

But I agree that the main issue here is the obsession hobby. Frankly what is the point of being married to him if he is never bloody there?! I mean people have to work away and stuff, thats different but to be either doing his hobby or working or asleep.....thats not a marriage, thats a flatshare.

User33538216 · 10/04/2026 19:52

Picklesandfrickles · 09/04/2026 12:20

😂 im sure OP probably can go with him.

But if it is horses OP probably has a strong hatred of horses And actively avoids engagement… like every long suffering partner of a horse person.

Time
Money
Relentlessness
Being there come rain, snow or shine

My DH would quite happily never see a horse again for the above reasons 😂

Edited
Show quote history

Finally got my DH on board 😁

He bought me two horses, land, built a stable block and is currently down there doing fencing while I’m at home 😁

Usernamenotfound1 · 10/04/2026 19:51

Oh ffs.

o/p has repeatedly said it’s not horses. Read the thread, or at least o/p’s posts.

User33538216 · 10/04/2026 19:49

LittleBearPad · 09/04/2026 12:03

It’s a bizarre hobby to require twice a day visits.

That would annoy me more than the mileage.

It’s not that bizarre.

Horses…

User33538216 · 10/04/2026 19:46

5foot5 · 09/04/2026 11:30

I don't have a strong opinion about the car mileage but I am sure I won't be the only one agog about a hobby he does twice a day, every day. Potentially HIBU for that.

Possibly horses - they need checking at least twice a day.

TroysMammy · 10/04/2026 19:46

I thought bird watching in the morning and dogging in the evening or he could be train spotter. Does he own an anorack and a thermos? Does he stand on a railway bridge waiting for the 6.28 to go past whilst scribbling furiously in a pocket jotter?

CatA27 · 10/04/2026 19:42

Boomer55 · 10/04/2026 17:10

This. Marriage is a partnership.🙄

Show quote history

Exactly, it doesn't seem to be much of a partnership if hubby is either working or at his hobby for 90% of the marriage. When do they do things together?

Tuesdayschild50 · 10/04/2026 19:34

Give & take isn't it ... let's hope he wouldn't moan at you if you needed help I think that's more important .
You are a couple at the end of the day .

Lilyspickled · 10/04/2026 19:29

Deleted, did not read thread before posting.

Teddybear23 · 10/04/2026 19:22

Bobloblawww · 09/04/2026 11:33

That is a ridiculous amount of time and mileage for a hobby regardless of whose car it is.

Totally agree, plus he can’t do much work all week as he’s too busy with his ‘hobby’!!

Usernamenotfound1 · 10/04/2026 19:09

sidebirds · 10/04/2026 19:05

"Obviously he doesn't need a car for work" - this is far from obvious 😒

Show quote history

How is it far from obvious?

the post literally starts with “dh works from home”.

sidebirds · 10/04/2026 19:05

MileageWoes · 09/04/2026 11:28

DH works from home, I work full time in the office. He is having major car trouble and will be without a car for the next few weeks. Obviously he doesn't need a car for work but he has a hobby that he travels to so is using my car morning and evening to do this. It's a 40 mile round trip, twice a day so means that he's putting over 500 miles extra on my car every week! I think he should cut back to once a day until he gets his own car back and he thinks I am being very unreasonable as it will only be for 3/4 weeks.

I WILL NOT BE DISCLOSING WHAT THE HOBBY IS! (I don't want to out myself and it's really really not relevant to my question)

"Obviously he doesn't need a car for work" - this is far from obvious 😒

Easterchicken · 10/04/2026 19:00

Doggin

ForNoisyCat · 10/04/2026 18:54

MileageWoes · 09/04/2026 11:48

To answer some questions, he's not a roadie Grin but that made me smile. We usually have two cars, mine is a much smaller/cheaper car and although he doesn't need his car for work we use it to go places as a family or on longer journeys because it's much bigger and more comfortable and mine would struggle to pull the skin off a rice pudding so overtaking on a motorway is a nightmare It's not on a PCP or anything but it's old now and I'd like to try keep it in good nick so I don't have to replace it anytime soon and I feel like this much extra use isn't going to help that. But maybe I am being unreasonable. The hobby is a thorny one for me, yes it gives him great joy but he is up very (very!) early which wakes me (he's back home in time to start work) and I hardly see him in the evenings. DC are older teens so not an issue with them really, more just me.

Is he a bird watcher?

pouletvous · 10/04/2026 18:52

Jeez. Why are you worried about something so petty?

assuming he pays for petrol? He would otherwise be going to his hobby anywY so you dont miss him

JarvisIsland · 10/04/2026 18:46

Both my last 2 cars were still going strong at over 150k miles. I do ~20k miles a year. It's a lot of motorway miles and actually that's not horrendous for a car to be doing. My DP's low mileage runaround has way more issues, as did my late DM's who only popped to the shops. It never flushed anything out and rarely even got up to temperature in the colder months. He used to have to take it out occasionally and just drive it between motorway junctions 'to give it a run', so maybe he's doing you a favour, especially if it's reasonably short term (in the life of a car a month is very short term!)

Honestly don't sweat it. It's not going to write your car off.

Even insurance is a best guess, and you'd be fair based on previous years and could presumably prove with MOT records, but if you are really worried about it call them up and ask to add an extra 2k miles but it will almost certainly cost you more in admin fee.

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