AIBU / Ridiculous re putting extra mileage on my car

This hobby is adding 24,000 miles per annum to your car, which is impacting it's value and lifespan. I think i would have more of an issue with a partner this amount of time every day on a hobby. It sounds more like an obsession.

It's 500 miles per week, not 500 miles yearly

Good point from same place would be boring

must be an animal bit op also says doesn’t have to be twice a day - which surely an animal would need to be see and not left for 24 hrs

Sounds fine to me. That's what cars are for.

As a horse person, I'm enjoying this thread a lot. We're never home! But I do believe OP that it's not that!

500 a week

A few miles to allow him to cosplay should be ok in a marriage.

I wouldn't be fussed about the mileage. Honestly 500 miles is neither here nor there on a modern car. But I'd assume he was paying all the petrol bills.

I'm more intrigued as to this hobby that is 20 miles away, that he happily trots off to twice a day! And that you're happy for him to do it.

What the hobby is in this case is relevant as it’s hard to understand why that level of commitment is needed.

even horses or livestock- if you have them so far away it’s would be a livery, and there’s nearly always some sort of reciprocal agreement or person available to do one of the visits. Easier for one person to go in a morning and turn 3 horses out than 3 people go and do a horse each. A big benefit of livery is there are others to share the load.

anyway he doesn’t go at weekends. Livestock/horses don’t have weekends off.

the only way it would be reasonable if it were a high level competitive sport, but even then weekends off would be unusual as this is when the long sessions are done. It’s also unusual for someone at that level to be holding down a FT job and a family.

so without knowing what the hobby is it’s impossible to say if the dh is reasonable.

if it is “just” a hobby then that amount of time and effort is unreasonable, and the dh should be able to just not go if he doesn’t have a car.

i can’t envision a hobby where that level of time and effort is necessary and has no flexibility. So unless o/p says what it is no one can judge.

It's not annual

Every day? and always from the same place?

I think PP are right, it has to be something involving livestock given the need for that sort of commitment.

What hobby means up really early - guessing photography so sees in sunrise /set

I won't drive my husbands car as its to big be he wouldn't begrudge me using his nor me mine but each to their own.

I’d be less fussed about the mileage - although it is a lot .. especially as I only average about 5000 a year ! I’d be more annoyed about the time . I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask that he does this once a day - otherwise he’s never at home !

No, just saw it and commented. Why not. I am sure others have commented but I thought the point needed reinforcing.

Except that it's still not 500 additional miles, is it? It's at least 2000.

You say you’ve asked him to temporarily only do the hobby once a day to cut down on the mileage on your car, but would he he letting anyone else down if he did that? Are there others who would be relying on him being there?

Do you think in the 2 days and 500 comments since I said this originally that no one has pointed that out.... 🤔 Or that youre the first to realise?

Thank you. I meant additional, I typed annual. I'm dyslexic and post menopausal - words get mixed.

Anyway, have a brilliant Saturday, hope its filled with sunshine.

I'm struggling with the concept of driving 80 miles a day for the sake of a hobby, and with having so much spare time for it. OP, when if ever do you actually get to see your husband if you're working full time? And how is he affording this, especially with the current cost of petrol?

At the very least he should be reimbursing you for maintenance, insurance, depreciation and general wear and tear.

Edited as I found the answer to my question.

Yanbu from me - I wouldn't accept my husband having g a hobby which took him away from family life every day and basically dominated the running of the household, let alone wanting to use my car for it as well! Bugger that. What if you needed to go somewhere in the evening?

Mileage indicates wear and tear on the car, especially if that mileage is added in a short space of time. Which is why people look at mileage Vs age when buying a vehicle.
If the OP nornally drives 200 miles a week, this new 500 miles a week will have a significant impact on the wear and tear on her vehicle and, therefore, it's value (for insurance payout if written off or if she chooses to sell it).
Mileage isn't just a number on the dial.

How much doing his share and helping each other is he doing if he's out doing a hobby for at least 20 hours a week?

I would also say not a horse if I didn’t want my DHs horse hobby known about 🤣

Deffo horses!! 🐴