AIBU / Ridiculous re putting extra mileage on my car

What, not even lovely ones?

And is OP definite that her DH travels so much and is genuinely far away when he does his hobby; or is he just small?

🐴

That is bizarre. Twice a day and it's far away. He must be a coach for some sports team and there are two teams, one in the day, one in the evening?

Is he driving to a swimming pool? Or a velodrome for cycling, or courts for racquet sports?
Surely twice a day ( omg! the fuel costs) every day, is a professional level of sport, rather than a hobby. I’ve known 2 different men who swam twice daily like this, & had to drive to pools each time.

It'll be kayaking or something where he has to drive to a lake or such.

i was very happily married until I was widowed but we always chose our own cars and had "my car" and "his car" He used to use mine sometimes with my permission but I never used his because I hated it.

It’s fight club 😉 that’s why op can’t say. Not meant to talk about it. Shhh 🤫

JFC - IT'S NOT HORSES. The OP has said it is NOT HORSES. HORSES IT IS NOT. It is SOMETHING OTHER THAN HORSES.

Couldn’t get worried over mileage on a car really, that’s what they are for and it’s pretty short term. As to the hobby, we’ve got a hobby that is all consuming. Luckily ours is outside the back door but takes up a huge amount of time, is every day, twice a day as a minimum, and a lot of weekend time too. I’m female by the way, and the DH is/was often on his own when returning from work, and at 8 or 9 pm we wander in and wonder what we might have for supper. In fairness, it’s his interest too though less so actively these days, more mine and DD s thing now. Never been any issue in our marriage or relationship, it’s who we are and always have been. No surprises, endless joy!

Your husband has an unreasonable carbon footprint resulting from that hobby!

I don’t understand all this “his car, my car” when you are married.

We have 2 cars, they are both “our cars” and we just drive whichever one the other isn’t using. One day I might use “the big car”, another day I might use “the small car”.

What do you do if you are going out in a car together? Do you charge a taxi fee or mileage to your DH and vice versa?

I’m sorry, but YABVU and petty to begrudge him the use of a car.

If you’ve got an older car hanging on by a thread then yes he should cut down.

Also propose the question if it was a friends car or another family member’s car would he still be wanting to do 2k miles for jolly’s while borrowing it.

I think horses too. We loan one at a stables which is a 30 mile round trip. Fortunately it’s just a couple of times a week & the stables will help us out but if you own one & it’s twice a day this is easy to do!

however, I couldn’t get upset about my husband using my car. We have 2 cars but aren’t overly precious about who drives them.

Totally agree. A fair few people do seem to think we're still in the 70s, when small cars were diabolically bad and any car was on borrowed time after 5 years and 50k miles. Our family bus has circa 170k on it and will not be going anywhere (figuratively speaking), until we've wrung well north of 200k out of it. Until recently our runabout was a 2009 Yaris with 140k on the clock, which is still going strong in the hands of my nephew and which I would have no problem whatsoever doing 500 miles a week in. They're cars not driveway ornaments so I really don't get this notion of 'I don't want to wear it out by using it for it's exact purpose'.

The mileage on my car wouldn’t bother me at all, I’d be more annoyed with not having my own car available to me mornings and evenings every day, and equally would question why he wants to spend so much time away from home and family.
Is he ever home apart from when he is WFH?

It seriously wouldn't bother me. Dh uses my car, sometimes without asking if im in all day or if im in for the evening. He will ask if he can use it if he is going to have passengers or needs a smarter looking car to where ever he os going.
He usually fills it up with petrol for me so I dont care.
I'm not understanding the upset if it only a temporary arrangement.

I'd be annoyed that he takes the car every evening, leaving you stuck at home.
I didn't think she was stuck as there is another car available.

Provided the costs are being met from the family budget and if you need the car for your own needs or for ferrying teenagers about, and he's prepared to forgo his evening training then I'd suck it up.

If he's used to a speedy car, he may well cut back anyway. He'll certainly be a convert to upgrading your car :)

One other thing, if it's old but still reliable and you do have two teenagers, it isn't going to help if he kills it just when you might want to teach them to drive in it.

Horse(s)?

Rowing…… that’s why he gets up so bloody early

I think it depends on how you organise your finances. If your replacement car would be a joint purchase and entirely your choice then unless your car is special to you, then he should be able to take it provided it doesn't inconvenience you. if you will have to cough up for the the wear and tear/replacement then it would be a nope from me.

This really wouldn't bother me at all - my commute every week is nearly 500 miles its 150 miles round trip. We both have good cars we need them as we live rurally, cars are there to be driven
I have currently 180,000 miles aprox on my car and i wont be changing it for at least another 2 years so will be fairly high by time i trade in but a good car is designed to last - one of my old cars had over 400,000 miles when i sold it would have been well able to do a good bit more,

Ignoring the hobby the car alone would annoy me. A small older not high power car is an oddity in some ways, it is of great value to you as a thing which enables your life but it has an incredibly low financial value. If and when it dies you will have to replace it which will cost a chunk of money.
Is he willing to compromise, go fewer times till his car is back?

Come on, it's not about the mileage is it? It's about the hobby.

I reckon he is a swim coach. 6.00am morning sessions and the same in the evening. (Former swim mum.... our car once broke down when DH was taking DD. Garage came to pick it up, and DH returned home by tube. Unfortunately he was still in his pyjamas. )

A hobby really isnt outing - whatever it is there will 3 million other people who have the same hobby - please tell us - I need to know - LOL