AIBU to expect my husband to buy lubricant for sex?

Buy online or simply don’t have sex with him without it.

It cannot be very pleasurable.

I get your frustration as you are taking the lion’s share of responsibility when it comes to sex and this is just one little thing. But you also sound rather childish too.

I’d say you need to grow up and get a grip! Yes it’s down to both of you but you’re being difficult and childish.

If my dh was happy to see bleeding and in pain just so he could get his end away when there is a very simple way to prevent it, I’m not sure I’d want to be intimate with him anyway.

Coconut oil - Amazon. Done.

This isn't just about the lube is it? It's about your perception of his lack of responsibility for everything. I would not be having sex if it hurts or makes me bleed. I'd be going to the doctor and possibly considering topical estrogen.

I’m not understanding the expectation thing you keep banging on about. He normally gets it but has forgotten. You are not getting it out of spite to prove a point. Getting your blood pressure checked every three months and being on birth control that is your choice. You can use condoms or the coil.

Also you are the one that is not producing enough natural lubricants but think it is his job to buy you artificial ones. That’s like him expecting you to buy him viagra because he can’t get it up and then him complaining that you get to lay there and enjoy sex. He forgot to buy it its not that deep.

That why I pointed out that was my opinion of the OPs situation. She needs to talk to her DH.

You think his mother doesn't know you have sex?? I wouldn't be surprised if his mother is buying more than you. :)

@Orangeducks Has your DH been treated for thrush too?
Also, you mention he works away - is there any chance there could be an STI?

You need the lube, you buy the lube.

I don't get why all the first posts are putting this on you, it's not unreasonable at all that this should be his job. Your reasons for not buying it are totally legit

Maybe so, but not everyone is in the same kind of relationship as you. My husband had the snip because of how contraception was affecting me. In a long term relationship there can be different ways of handling contraception and it isn’t always down to the woman.

Some posters are being a bit dense about it. It’s clearly not the actual act of buying lube (can totally see why you wouldn’t want to purchase it in a shop with your dc present!) but you are aware that there are other options online etc.

The issue is his lack of consideration and responsibility. He isn’t prioritising your comfort and enjoyment. It’s a simple thing for him to do and he just can’t be bothered. So yeah that would piss me off too and I’d decline sex until he sorts it. Why put yourself through something uncomfortable.

I've just seen your latest update and I was going say that the actual issue is not so much the practical aspect, it's his lack of effort. He wants sex as much as you (probably more so I would guess) and this is one small thing he can do that you don't have to add to your list of chores (including contraception arrangements) but he gets stroppy when you point that out.

I wouldn't have sex without lube if it was going to be uncomfortable so I don't think it's unreasonable that if he wants sex he needs to make this one small effort that enables you to give enthusiastic consent. He SHOULD care about that and it's piss poor of him if he doesn't.

You’re being irrational. Set your own prime account up and order on there, or find another website. Maybe order it with your food shop or something if that’s an option. Alternatively, stop fretting over a student seeing you in the shop. Don’t most teachers live far away from the school for this reason?! Just don’t shop where they likely do!

Well, they have decided to have a sex life together and OP has already taken on the mental and physical toll of ensuring she doesn’t end up pregnant. The least he could do is buy some lube.

I would be annoyed eith OH if I asked him to buy something and he said he would but didn't. I also wouldn't be getting intimate with him either as why should I be in pain? So I don't get how you went along with it 2 times without. However. I also think yabu not getting it yourself in general. This time I get you asked and he is bu for not doing so, but your reasoning just doesn't work as to why you can't get lube yourself in general. Just get lube.

@PhoebeBuffay1234yep same as our relationship. I’m the one who will get pregnant therefore I sort my contraception. I am responsible for my body.

They. They need it to have a sex life. Unless she's just a vessel for the more important man.

I would be really pissed off if I was in your shoes. This situation isn't about the process of you not being comfortable in buying the lube, but the fact that he should take some responsibility.

Stand by your guns. No more sex until he fulfill his end of the bargain. I can't bear the thought of you bleeding as a result of his failings.

Don't think the snip is the problem. Even if he did have the snip and OP didn't get the meds. They still need lube. This is the problem, not the snip snip.

Jeezo she asked him to buy it and he agreed to. God forbid a man just does what he says he will.

OK - So @Orangeducks You've a medical issue that sometimes makes you bleed - sorry you experience that but sounds like you've got a proper diagnosis and are dealing with it.

However - presumably your "D"H knows about this condition - and knows it can cause you discomfort? But he was still happy to have sex with you without the lube knowing it would cause issues for you.

I'm still seeing a husband problem - not a "who's buying the lube" issue.

Oh for goodness sake!! How ridiculous that you can’t have another account.

😂 but I bet the whole year group secretly knows what she buys in her free time haha... If my own school experience was anything to go by!