AIBU to expect my husband to buy lubricant for sex?

4 or more episodes of Thrush within a 12 month period should be checked out with your GP as there may be underlying health issues. I would focus more on this than who is responsible for buying an ointment. You may well find the GP will offer it on prescription anyway which can be ordered via Boots and delivered if you choose that option. Even if you were to pick it up at your local Boots they would have it packaged already when you went to pick it up and would just have to confirm your dob. If you do not have a Boots then any pharmacy you nominate near your Doctor will have it.

What a mean post.

I really don’t get a man who is happy for his wife to be left bleeding and feeling sore and chafed after sex.

I literally cannot fathom this.

Why don't you go half and half on the cost as you both presumably get the enjoyment. 😊

It’s depressing how many nasty bitchy people there are on mumsnet now. It’s a wonder anyone posts.

Does the dH really think amazon is the only place to shop for lube online 👀

I can sort of see what you mean, but your set-up sounds more even-handed. OP's DH has refused the snip, appears uncaring of OP's comfort and seems to regard sex preparations as women's work. Not sure what wanting him to do this one thing for her has to do with being 'helpless'.

If I was in OP's shoes he wouldn't even be needing the lube, as with his attitude he wouldn't be getting any sex!

I agree with this. Honestly if sex without lube hurt and made me bleed my husband would never want to have sex without lube because he wouldn't want to hurt me. I'm surprised your husband wanted to and that you agreed.

I see what you mean about you taking all the responsibility. I wonder if this happens in other areas of your life too which is why it's bothering you here.

This is what we’re spiraling about? Order some on Amazon and move on.

Genuinely. Two clicks, discreet packaging, problem solved in less than five seconds.

If it’s been a month and it matters this much, at some point you just need to handle it yourself. Not everything needs to become a standoff or a referendum on your entire relationship.

So buy the lube. End the saga. Then, if you still care, have a separate conversation about him forgetting but right now this is the most solvable problem on earth being treated like a crisis

For gods sake it’s called the internet and you can do shipping on it and you can get it from other places other than Amazon. Some people are just weird and hardworking.

@Orangeducks Depending on your age, you might need to consider vaginal estrogen. Bleeding during sex can be loss of hormones - read up on vaginal atrophy. It's very common and using a really weak estrogen cream (from your GP ) can be the answer. Loads of women use it and need it!

Are you over 40 and perhaps heading into peri menopause?

Link for you that may help.
www.drlouisenewson.co.uk/knowledge/vaginal-dryness-why-you-dont-need-to-suffer

What a life you have that you haven’t 5 adult minutes to yourself to buy lube.

Why don’t you order from lovehoney in bed together? I don’t know what point you are trying to make but you are only hurting yourself.

I was coming on to say this he needs treated too to stop it spreading

@Orangeducks you seem pretty defensive to people who are answering what you’ve asked.

You want him to get lube but will willing have sex without it despite bleeding. So you don’t have any boundaries with him. If this matters to you - you say it’s important to me that you buy lube because I take contraception or whatever your reasoning and then you have to decline sex. He’s clearly not very bothered about consequences here or doesn’t get the issue.

If you’re generally upset about the balance of things in your relationship you’re going to have to use your words to talk to him.

No pun intended but you can get it from
“just eats “

they deliver for Asda

You can separate your accounts- there is a family link function - so you can both order without the others seeing

For me it is not about 'buying lube' - it is about thinking of you - effectively he is not thinking of your enjoyment - and that is the bigger issue

Buy it from Superdrug, Durex lube is on offer at the moment. Buy vitamin tablets at the same time as a cover story!

I get it OP. Its not so much the actual purchasing (although just order some from boots or superdrug) its the thoughtlessness behind his actions and then him still expecting sex. Admittedly you havent helped your cause by having sex with him anyway and putting up with the pain.

If it were me, I would explain this to him slowly and carefully so he fully understands and his stupid man pride doesnt see it as a rejection of the sex per se more so his thoughtlessness that he hasn't cared for your comfort.

Ps. Has your husband been treated for thrush as it could be coming from him every time hence you kept getting reinfected. He needs the tablets and cream asap.

Don’t worry about being a prude. I’m 44 and still get embarrassed buying tampons 😂

If op wants sex it’s an odd hill to die on that’s all.

If I knew my husband was shit at shopping and lube made sex nicer for me and I want sex I’d just buy the lube.

It's rather cutting one’s nose off otherwise.

I say nicer as op was obviously happy and wanted sex the times they did without lube as she said so on this thread.

I send mine a list as he goes to the shop, sure it’s still wife work but I get what I want. A quick text to pop in on his way home from work to grab whatever always works.

I've only read your posts @Orangeducks

You do know that if you have thrush, that your husband will need treating too? Otherwise you're passing it back and forth.

As for buying lube, absolutely he should take more responsibility. Yiu know you can get it, but you want him to put some effort in.

Stop sleeping with him until you have both been treated for thrush.

I'd have a bigger issue withhim refusing the snip tbh.

Its not about being the ‘cool wife’ its simply why is this even escalated to an argument?, if my OH repeatedly forgot to buy lube, i would just roll my eyes and sort it myself 🤷🏻‍♀️ and later on be like oh i picked up the lube btw, everyone forgets to pick stuff up from the shop and assuming lube isn’t frequently purchased it would be a ‘vinegar list’ item for us, ‘oh ffs forgot again’ and whoever remembers while at the shop grabs it- which OP wont do anyway.

Don't have sex until they get lube.