AIBU to expect my husband to buy lubricant for sex?

Yes. This. Let him sulk. YANBU.

Yep this! OP you’ll just need to put your foot down and let him face the natural consequences of his laziness.

It’s sad that he doesn’t care about your safety and comfort in sex,but you need to care about you! Do not have sex next time if there’s no lube, not just out of principle but for your physical safety.

I also agree with others who have said go see a GP in case but also I wonder if you’re dry when having sex with him because of some kind of emotional issues such as feeling (understandably) resentful or uncared for. But yeah see a medical professional!

edited to add : Also if you’re not happy to take BC for much longer it may be worth having the conversation with him again about having a vasectomy as you’d rather not be on BC.

Even if he says no it will at least remind him that you are the one making the sacrifice here for you guys to have baby-free sex.

Or maybe suggest using a condom? 🤷🏽‍♀️

on line shopping.

So neither of you will buy it in person and you don't have your own Amazon Prime account? And you haven't considered buying it online from another place?

But you made a very good point of making the effort every three months

Something doesn't add up. 😬

but how likely is that to actually happen? That you're in the process of buying lube and some random student comes along and pokes around in your shopping? Eh? It's ridiculously unlikely to the point it's not worth considering.

"it got me thinking about the expectations on women to take on almost all of the responsibilities to do with sex. And why shouldn't he play a part? I would absolutely love him to get the snip but he refuses which I find very annoying. He does get sulky and says fine if I won't stay on the pill then we'll use condoms/ not have sex so it keeps the responsibility on me. So I do think that is a him issue."

This is a you and him thing, not a society thing.

He sulks.
He won't take responsibility.
If you don't take responsibility he would be happy to forgo sex.
He fails to buy lube and will then have sex with you until you bleed/get thrush.
And thinks that's a joke.
He's away a lot.
You work and do the bulk of childcare.

Why do you want sex with this man?

Re your thrush, if it's reccurent and won't go, look into your vaginal pH.

A week of these and then a maintenence one every couple of days might keep things balanced so things don't get out of whack.

Give the old girl a rest in the meantime, semen, condoms, sex toys, soap etc can also throw it off.

Edited to say that if you were approaching him with a strap on and no lube, and then stormed out when he said he wasn't up for it because the last few times it had made him bleed who would that make you? A "good wife"?

If I saw my teacher buying lube I’d have told everyone

I would not want to share an online shopping account with a relative

Why are you continuing to have sex with your husband without the lube if you know it might make you bleed for heavens sake??

oh good, so I am not the only one to have picked up on this. I do find it quite disturbing that OP and her DH had (vaginal) intercourse under these circumstances...

Honestly the first few posts are infuriating. ‘Husband can you do one simple thing to allow me to enjoy sex as I don’t want to buy it while the kids are with me.’ Husband doesn’t do it and the responses aren’t saying what a ridiculous situation that woman is having sex that makes her bleed because her husband hasn’t followed through on a simple task, no instead the responses are well YOU could have ordered it from Amazon!

I can't imagine my kids even noticing when they were that young. The OP manages to buy thrush stuff. I think it's extremely unlikely students would notice what she is buying; that's just bananas. Shop during school time? God there are so many solutions to this non-problem.

That all said, if I had said to my partner I needed him to buy lube before we could have sex again he would do it immediately, no question and I just wouldn't have sex with him until he did, and he would know that. The OP should not be having sex she doesn't want.

I'd definitely be buying it on that account.

Right! This is the point and also the point that he refuses to do this one thing when OP does other things like the BC.

Ffs so far I’ve hardly read any sensible replies. So many are missing the point.

If you think that Amazon Prime is the only way to buy online then honestly, you’re getting to a point that’s beyond help.

Just a thought. Does he remember to buy condoms?

Chafing and bleeding during sex is not normal! Are you peri? Have you had this and the recurrent thrush investigated? He might be re-infecting you. The only time I had thrush was when I was severely anaemic.

Come off the pill and tell him to buy condoms- no condom, no sex. It might clear the thrush too. And WHY do you share an amazon account with his mum???

@Orangeducks OK, yeah, you are being unreasonable in one respect, you can buy it online but this isn't about the purchase of lubricant is it, it sounds to be like his lack of responsibility and more importantly concern for your physical well being? That is him being very unreasonable and that would upset/hurt me too.

You need to tell him this and not make stupid arguments about who buys the lubricant because you are dragging it out and making it something it isn't.

Tell him its not who shops that is the issue (although it is), its his lack of concern for your wellbeing/comfort/enjoyment that is.

Sounds like there's more friction in this relationship than can be eased by lube.

Its oretty lazy of him but just Get it off amazon.

I can't imagine a world where I would want to stick a part of my body into a part of another persons body, for pleasure, until they bleed, and then it becomes an in joke. For starters.

See your GP and then see another for help with your poor vag, until you get your thrush and bleeding sorted. It's not about the lube, both of you are well within your remit to buy a bottle, it sounds like you're feeling resentful of him more widely and I can imagine why.

If you want to make it his responsibility, you need to be ready to say no to sex without it.

Your choice whether it's worth it, but this way you are the one suffering, and he isn't even inconvenienced.

Here you go - have fun!
https://www.boots.com/wellness/condoms-sexual-health/lubricants-massagers-gels

Get a separate Amazon account!!

I’m a teacher too, get creative with the way you hide stuff in your shopping trolley!!

Yes it’s ridiculous you’re not buying lube but to be honest it’s a staple in our bedroom and always has been. We buy in bulk….!

It’s not irrational. Would you want your school-aged kids to watch you buying a bottle of lube?!