AIBU to expect my husband to buy lubricant for sex?

how do men stay married when they refuse to show an ounce of consideration for their wife?? That’s what she wants here. i drink cranberry juice after sex to fend off utis, so dh always gets it for me. Sex has a health risk for me so he’s part of the prevention.

He needs to step up and buy it. AND get the snip. It's easy, solves a lot of issues, and doesn't affect his masculinity in any way whatsoever.

I think everyone saying that you should buy it is wrong. He should also have some responsibility in the sex life you share together. Cant believe some woman enable these types of men in their comments. Also if he cant get the snip then cut him off in the sex department until he does it. If family planning is over you have done your part so he needs to step up now if not then he goes dry. Iv asked my husband to remove the kids from our bed, I dont feel comfortable having sex in the same room as them so I dont. If he wants sex he needs to put the kids to bed in their own bed if not he gets nothing from me. Men need to be responsible in the relationship also, it shouldnt always fall on the woman..

Buy it on Amazon and set up a subscribe and save. Then you can both chill out about it.

100% this… why you are allowing him to hurt you?

YABU to not just buy it yourself and then get mad at your DH when you’re the one who wants it.

But it sounds like you carry the load for a lot of things - kids, shopping etc and if that’s the case that’s not fair and it definitely needs to become more equal.

Who does the big shop every week?

This isn’t about buying lubricant. It’s about him hurting you and not caring.

This is not a hill I’d choose to die on!! Tbh I’d rather choose my own. It sounds like you’re both being a little ridiculous? Him for storming off and you for refusing to buy some lube. Do you have a joint shopping list that the lube is on? Is he purposefully not buying it or forgetting? We have a WhatsApp chat shopping list and if I was in an awkward mood I’d be sending 20 messages to the chat saying lube!!!!

It can be ordered online so your students will remain unaware.

Have you asked your GP for a prescription since you have a medical need for lube? I get it on prescription due to an autoimmune condition & now menopause makes that worse. I do hope you are able to overcome your fear of purchasing it in a shop so many sell it these days even pound land. Good luck.

I think you need to decide whether you want it to be a balance where you each take turns in buying it or telling him explicitly you expect him to always buy it and if it's not there then there's no sex. My DH always buys our condoms now I think about it and I never really gave it much thought or felt like I wasn't doing "my bit" for our sex life. But your latest update sounds like it's not about the lube at all and you don't have to agree to sex even if there is lube in the house? Do you feel you have to?

“My husband is a good man and our relationship is strong.”

A ‘good man’ would have the snip. And you have a strong relationship because you’re willing to put yourself through pain, and also denial about his selfishness.

This is correct. When I was a teenager we always told each other if we'd seen teachers out and about. And as a teacher, experienced many occasions of "Miss, we saw you in the High St on Saturday..." and it was perfectly obvious they'd also followed me into shops!

I can’t imagine having sex with a man who wouldn’t care that he left me bleeding. That’s beyond grim.

I’ve got dry with peri, and dh has seriously upped his foreplay game because the man loves a challenge, encouraged me to see the gp and researched different lubrication options. He also has the self control to stop if I’m not comfortable because I’m a person he loves, not a sex hole.

Sorry @Orangeducks but nothing about this ok. Buying the lube is the absolute barrel scraping minimum anyone should expect. But your standards need to come up much, much higher. You deserve so much better.

DH & I share an Amazon Prime account; we cannot see each other's purchases.

I completely understand this. Yes, you could buy it yourself but he really needs to make the effort, especially if he refuses to get the snip and relies on you to be on the pill.

This. I am also appalled by the posters saying op should just do everything and her poor husband, working away three days a week with plenty of time on his hands, shouldn't hold any responsibility at all.

Op, you are not unreasonable in the slightest. The point isn’t that you could buy it. It is that he has to contribute one thing and refuses to do so.

I would not be entertaining sex without the lube so if he hasnt bought any next time, don’t risk it.

Edited as I missed the last post: Given that you have a diagnosis after speaking to your GP about recurrent thrush and bleeding after sex a d the cause is friction that could be resolved with lube, and your husband knows this, he is an arse. Is your dh treating himself every time too?

Just seen your update - pleased you have gynae advice. Buy the lube!

Dear lord. The amount of people excusing your husband being a complete knob! He should be buying it.

You can order in bulk to get free shipping from £39:
https://www.chemist-4-u.com/catalogsearch/result/?q=Lubricant

Also I have always bought the lube in my partnership, even though it ‘benefits’ both of us. This is not because my husband is lazy or selfish but because I am a more details-oriented and practical person than he is. Also, I had been around the block more than he had and knew that lube wasn’t simply for bum sex, Similarly, when menopause brought a dry vagina and low libido, I sorted out the right HRT regime. Did the research, chased the GP, got the referral to the menopause clinic and the right meds. Two happy people. because life is too short not to take action to resolve simple stuff.

So you should see your GP about the vaginismus and thrush and get some proper gynae care (unless you’re too worried about what the GP might think of you 🙀and short term. buy the lube!

I was completely with you until this.

Does his mum not know you have sex? What does it matter?

But I agree he should be taking responsibility too. I’d leave him to sulk until he eventually buys some but I’m petty like that and I can go much longer without it than my partner