AIBU to expect my husband to buy lubricant for sex?

What lube are you using? If I was getting thrush all the time I would be looking at the lube as the culprit.
Use a vaginal moisturiser instead or ask about oestrogen cream, this really needs sorted because a bleeding vagina is not normal

Nope, this is anxiety. Probably more common than you think. Sometimes my wife would get anxious waiting in a supermarket queue. You are lucky you don't suffer from it.

Hey all, just on the thrush thing - I have spent years treating myself for recurrent thrush. Doctors aware of it but just prescribed canestan or diflucan. A couple of years ago I was getting a smear and mentioned it - the nurse suggested bringing in a urine sample. Turns out I had type 2 diabetes. Since then I've been on Metformin and limiting my dietary sugar and have never had thrush since. So it could be worth finding out if you're diabetic or prediabetic.

If your husband asked you to do a small, easy, simple thing that would make him feel more comfortable and enjoy sex more, would you do it?

I bet you would. I bet you'd make it a priority.

Maybe ask yourself why your comfort and pleasure aren't a priority for your husband.

This is bonkers.

First I read a thread about a woman who was afraid to be on a train for ten minutes by herself, now this. You could have ordered online in less than one minute.

Am sure you could make your own Amazon account.

and he gets to just turn up and have sex

Not without your permission. Why not refuse to have sex until he buys lube? Something tells me he'll quickly stop forgetting.

They would, and her own children would, but that's not really the point, to me anyway (because as others have said, you could set up your own online account). It's the fact it is all on you, and he sulks.
And I would consider seeing a GP, OP, if you bleed, Might be nothing, but even so, better to check, and more to the point, the GP could maybe recommend something better to help.

I don't think the issue here is whether you COULD buy lube yourself, it's why is he making such a fuss about buying it when he's been doing so voluntarily, regularly, and routinely for years? And why won't he tell you the reason? This in particular: He's just stormed out and said I could buy it and now is sulking is a bit of a red flag. As is, of course, I play my part in our sex life by going to the pharmacy every 3 months and getting my blood pressure checked etc to get the pill and put artificial hormones in my body every day (he refuses to get the snip though were definitely done with kids).

I'd be having a serious, non-sexy conversation with this bloke once he's calmed down, because you're right: whoever buys the lube this time and how and why, there's a much bigger issue here and if it's making you this unhappy, someone who is SUPPOSED to be your partner and care about your health and well-being should be making the time to discuss the matter and LISTEN to you, not just huff off when things don't go exactly his way.

(AIBU typically brings out the edgy contrarians, and unfortunately some of those come with a heaping serving of misogyny, internalised or otherwise. You do sort of have to triage the replies to filter out the performative aggression and get to advice that's useful for your situation - I hope you found some!)

I'm 75 and just throw it in the shopping cart . Who cares ? Certainly not the teenager who helped me find it in a different supermarket to where I normally shop and didn't even blink .

You both sound like petulant children.

I'd be more worried about bleeding from having sex tbh. You need to see your GP about that and numerous thrush too. I'd be saying no lube no sex but then I'd have picked up some KY gel with my shopping.

No more sex until he buys some. Problem solved!

Buy it online?

Honestly, YANBU to expect your husband to think about these things & buy it. But also, the teacher privilege is running extremely thin with me in my NHS job (can’t have an appointment in term time, can’t have an appointment in holidays because, hello, I’m on holiday). WTF do you think everyone else does?

Order online. Either one of you. See a GP about your postcoital bleeding.

If you're buying the sorts of lube that are sold in supermarkets, you can say it's to help when you're inserting tampons or suppositories for constipation - ie. lube has uses beyond sex stuff that might be private but certainly capable of explanation to a child.

I don't think it should be your husband's responsibility to choose lube (maybe his to buy it) - it's for your comfort and there are a huge range of different lubes available with different combinations of ingredients. The main categories are:
*Water based
*Silicone based
*Oil based
(There are some hybrids as well)

Water based = safe with condoms.

Silicone and oil based aren't safe with condoms.

Silicone lubes shouldn't be used on silicone toys unless covered with a condom first.

If you do anal play there are specific thicker lubes sold for that purpose.

Look up osmolality + pH in relation to lubes and also check lubes for glycerine - this may be an ingredient worth avoiding re thrush but I've seen conflicting info.

I've been trying Uberlube - a silicone one that comes in a spray bottle and Yes! Water Based. I didn't get much difference between the two but in theory silicone lubes are meant to last longer.

In addition to lube for sex stuff, there are some other items to consider that might help comfort wise:
*Vaginal oestrogen
*Vaginal moisturisers
*Emollient ointments

Vaginal oestrogen works locally in the vagina to give it enough oestrogen to make it less fragile / dry / irritated. You can use vaginal oestrogen creams around the vulva too. If you're under 50 in the UK a GP needs to prescribe this.

Vaginal moisturisers are a non hormonal way to add moisture to the vagina and are used regularly eg every 3 days regardless of what sex you're having. I like Yes!VM but there are a number on the market.

Ointment consistency emollients eg. Zeroderm can be soothing to the vulva and can be applied as often as you want through the day eg. before +/- after weeing, if weeing hurts.

Vaginal and vulva skin is usually quite good at repairing itself quickly. But breaks in the skin = possible routes for infection to enter. Penetration that's making you bleed / hurts with dry skin isn't the safest thing to do even if you're into sexual pain.

That takes us back to your husband needing to care about your safety and enjoyment of whatever sex stuff you're doing. If there isn't lube there's probably little scope for sex involving genitals and moving to other body parts and activities will be needed.

Pretty sure his Mum knows you have s*x, and couldn't care less if you ordered lube online.

They are also not using condoms, so what’s your point? Obviously if they bought condoms they could get lube at the same time.

This isn’t about buying the lube.

It’s about the fact that op asked her partner to do this one thing for them and he hasn’t or won’t. Yeah she could but it herself, but that’s not the point I guess.

He's being a dick and should buy it.

But you're overthinking yourself buying it - who cares if you get it shopping or on your family Amazon prime account or wherever. It's just lube. On the very slight chance anyone notices and says anything you just say 'yeah it's for when I have sex, whats the problem?' and side eye them. Its very very normal to buy lube.

But they’re not using lube….

So it's OK for you to be embarrassed about buying lube, but not for him to be?

Anyway, one word. Amazon.

(Oh God, I've just Googled 'Amazon lube'. My adverts are going to get interesting.)

I guess I'm also a prude, I would feel a bit awkward buying lube 😅

I totally see your side. It's nothing for him to pop out and get it compared to it being more difficult for you. Yes you could order it online. But feels annoying that your husband can't just do it next time he's at a shop. My husband would be more flexible with time like yours to buy stuff like this so it would irk me if he wouldn't and left it all to me too!

Just order it online and get over it..Ridiculous.