Speaking with mouth full of food

BlueCanaryInTheAlleyByTheLightswitch · 2026-04-09T06:50:40+00:00

Is it OK for an adult to talk with mouth full of food? This is during family mealtime conversation at home or in a restaurant. YANBU - it’s grim, finish your mouthful we don’t want to see your half chewed food or hear you chewing while you speak. YABU - it’s fine, you’re with loved ones. it’s a bit “Victorian” to suggest you shouldn’t do it (like “elbows off the table”)

Original poster

BlueCanaryInTheAlleyByTheLightswitch · 11/04/2026 23:25

QuadrupleH · 11/04/2026 21:25

Sorry but that seems like win-win then?

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You would think! But it leaves me feeling like I’m enabling the sodding pity party, which is even more unbearable.

Am fairly low contact at the moment.

OP posts:

Planner2026 · 11/04/2026 21:53

I loathe this. We have two people in our circle who do this but hold their hand in front of their mouth when they’re doing it. It doesn’t make it any better! Please just finish your mouthful before you tell us your story - honestly, we can wait 🙄

TheBlueKoala · 11/04/2026 21:52

BlueCanaryInTheAlleyByTheLightswitch · 11/04/2026 21:00

Incidentally, if I told her we’d no longer eat with her she would LOVE that because it means she could throw herself a massive pity party, and she would genuinely enjoy that more than being able to share meals with us.

Right, I’ll stop my own thread derail!

Let her throw a pity party! But if you're there or hear about be sure to add that it's her refusal to not behaving correctly that has made you put a stop to eating with her. Oh, and her maliciously putting meat in your soup when she bloody well knows you're a vegetarian (I am as well so I react strongly to this).

You're a better person than me. I really don't think I would put up with a person who disrespects me non-stop, so be it if it's my mother. If not nc I would def advise you to go low contact. Like very, very low contact.

QuadrupleH · 11/04/2026 21:25

BlueCanaryInTheAlleyByTheLightswitch · 11/04/2026 21:00

Incidentally, if I told her we’d no longer eat with her she would LOVE that because it means she could throw herself a massive pity party, and she would genuinely enjoy that more than being able to share meals with us.

Right, I’ll stop my own thread derail!

Sorry but that seems like win-win then?

incognito1991 · 11/04/2026 21:02

My mum does this it really irritates me, she will take a bite of her food before saying what she wants to say, I can’t stand it

Original poster

BlueCanaryInTheAlleyByTheLightswitch · 11/04/2026 21:00

Incidentally, if I told her we’d no longer eat with her she would LOVE that because it means she could throw herself a massive pity party, and she would genuinely enjoy that more than being able to share meals with us.

Right, I’ll stop my own thread derail!

OP posts:

Original poster

BlueCanaryInTheAlleyByTheLightswitch · 11/04/2026 20:58

TheBlueKoala · 11/04/2026 20:35

I would just refuse to eat with her again @BlueCanaryInTheAlleyByTheLightswitch. You can see her but tell her you are not eating together since she lacks basic manners. I tell my 12 y old to close his mouth when he forgets. You shouldn't have to tell adult people to behave correctly.

It’s part of what I’ve realised is a pattern of treating my views/everyone else’s views with absolute contempt. Eg, I’m a vegetarian so when she served soup one meal she said she’d made a vegetarian soup for me. Which I discovered halfway through that she’d made with turkey stock and which had big lumps of turkey in.

Or proudly telling me that the tat she’s bought me for Christmas or the clothes she’s wearing come from Temu when she knows I hate Temu/have various moral objections to it.

I don’t go on about my views btw or seek to impose them on her, or criticise her for buying stuff from Temu; that’s up to her. And I serve meat to by hubby and kids, so I’m not a moral warrior.

Its very trying….

OP posts:

TheBlueKoala · 11/04/2026 20:35

I would just refuse to eat with her again @BlueCanaryInTheAlleyByTheLightswitch. You can see her but tell her you are not eating together since she lacks basic manners. I tell my 12 y old to close his mouth when he forgets. You shouldn't have to tell adult people to behave correctly.

Original poster

BlueCanaryInTheAlleyByTheLightswitch · 11/04/2026 20:27

Politely asked DM to finish her mouthful before speaking this evening. Cue hand flapping and “I’ve decided life is too short!”

I explained AGAIN that it’s not nice seeing someone’s half chewed food in their mouth.

She responded “You may avert your gaze then!”.

I explained we didn’t like listening to her speaking with a mouth full of food either. She just ignored me and carried on.

I just cannot imagine treating anyone else like this. 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:

ithinkilikethislittlelife · 11/04/2026 11:20

It’s absolutely horrible watching someone eat with their mouth open. I rage at my kids if they do it. Gross.

QuadrupleH · 11/04/2026 11:10

saltrock123 · 10/04/2026 23:37

I gave up school dinners because of other kids chewing with their mouths open and foid flying out, yuk! I would rather run home for lunch than stay. This was back in the seventies when you had the option to stay for school dinners, which were gross or go home to lunch.

I work in a school and some teachers do lunch supervision. Even in winter most would prefer to be outside in the playground than in the restaurants for that very reason!

GardeningMummy · 10/04/2026 23:58

Oh god I despise. my friend does it whilst chewing with her mouth open. Both her kids do it too so the noise horrific, I refuse to eat around them now. Obviously I haven’t said anything but, eugh!

saltrock123 · 10/04/2026 23:37

I gave up school dinners because of other kids chewing with their mouths open and foid flying out, yuk! I would rather run home for lunch than stay. This was back in the seventies when you had the option to stay for school dinners, which were gross or go home to lunch.

Original poster

BlueCanaryInTheAlleyByTheLightswitch · 10/04/2026 23:25

Elaine118 · 10/04/2026 21:44

My mum is awul for it. Also late 70s and speaks with her mouth full a lot. She has really sloppy table manners now and is terrible at home and in a restaurant. She and my dad go on cruises and I feel sorry for people who share their table.
I make a point of waiting to finish chewing before I answer her but she doesn't take a hint so I resort to telling her it's unpleasant amd then I'm told off for being rude.
Her general food hygiene standards are quite bad now too. She'll use serving spoons but push food on to them with her fingers, wipe cream off cake slices with her fingers or on her dirty apron and put it back on the plate to cut the next piece. Lots of little examples but she makes me feel a bit ill because I wonder what she does to our food when we aren't watching. I'm sure her standards have slipped and it wasn't always the case.
Maybe I'll stop caring about manners in 30 years too, if her food poisoning doesn't finish me off first...

Oh that reminds me how my DM once had a nasty cough and coughed into her hands at the dinner table at a meal with her DS - fine, though really it should be the crook of your elbow - and then went to reach for the cheese board to cut herself a slice! 🤢

I stopped her before she could and asked if she would mind washing her hands first. She took great offence at this.

I asked her if she would be happy to buy cheese from a cheese counter if the person serving her had just coughed into their hands, but apparently our situation was different because we were all family 🙄

OP posts:

RaininSummer · 10/04/2026 22:46

TheBlueKoala · 10/04/2026 18:53

So all meals in silence? Not being sarcastic - just wondering how it's possible.

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Not in total silence but I don't like whole conversations when trying to eat as it's too difficult synchronising when to speak with others also trying to eat. The odd short comment is tolerable, we normally eat dinner with the news on tv or the radio as I don't do silence either as the noise of people eating can be irritating.

7238SM · 10/04/2026 22:45

OP, I think we share a MIL!
Over the years, I've learnt not to ask her anything as she is about shovel food in. I have said to her previously 'Its ok, wait till you've finished your mouthful' but this falls on deaf ears.

I'm never giving her a sausage roll or anything with puff pastry ever again. The pastry flew out of her mouth landing in my own plate and hair! 🤢

QuadrupleH · 10/04/2026 22:28

I feel for you - I have a colleague who could do this for the olympics.

Unwraps cereal bar
"So..."
Bites cereal bar then points it at us before speaking
"sblgkfejfhgjhfvleyflzisfb"

Hope that wasn't important Michelle.

Fidgety31 · 10/04/2026 22:27

Disgusting . People are revolting .
I can’t be around anyone that eats because it fillls me with rage . But I do also have misophonia .

toddlertoenail · 10/04/2026 22:21

Nope. Even our toddler will say ‘chew swallow speak’ if someone at the table talks with food in their mouth as we say that to her if she tries to talk with food in her mouth 😂

Elaine118 · 10/04/2026 21:44

My mum is awul for it. Also late 70s and speaks with her mouth full a lot. She has really sloppy table manners now and is terrible at home and in a restaurant. She and my dad go on cruises and I feel sorry for people who share their table.
I make a point of waiting to finish chewing before I answer her but she doesn't take a hint so I resort to telling her it's unpleasant amd then I'm told off for being rude.
Her general food hygiene standards are quite bad now too. She'll use serving spoons but push food on to them with her fingers, wipe cream off cake slices with her fingers or on her dirty apron and put it back on the plate to cut the next piece. Lots of little examples but she makes me feel a bit ill because I wonder what she does to our food when we aren't watching. I'm sure her standards have slipped and it wasn't always the case.
Maybe I'll stop caring about manners in 30 years too, if her food poisoning doesn't finish me off first...

Brightonkebab · 10/04/2026 21:32

Lavender14 · 10/04/2026 21:26

99% of the time I agree that it's rude and just wait to finish. If it's urgent or a quick comment with a hand in front of your mouth I don't mind.

How urgent is it that you can’t swallow before talking?

greenteaandlimes · 10/04/2026 21:29

Agree. And re elbows on the table, this is a constant battle with DC. They cant understand “why”. It’s part of manners, mutual respect etc
Speaking with mouth full, elbows on table etc - all unacceptable

Lavender14 · 10/04/2026 21:26

99% of the time I agree that it's rude and just wait to finish. If it's urgent or a quick comment with a hand in front of your mouth I don't mind.

Emmz1510 · 10/04/2026 21:25

No, it’s horrid, vile and all kinds of rude. And I have misophonia which makes it ten times worse!

LaverneBakerImtheonetodoitNSOUL · 10/04/2026 19:25

I don't want to see food going round someone's mouth like laundry in a washing machine.
Kid at school dinners kept doing it despite being told not too
He got a punch in the face for his trouble.
Problem solved