AIBU that I am upset over a tattoo design?

I have a relative who is very narcissistic and that pattern of interaction is very familiar. Forgetting or failing to understand something when it doesn’t suit their agenda anymore.

It’s really bewildering when you first encounter it, because you’re searching through old conversations, knowing that you’ve talked about this, knowing that they know your stance on an issue. And then you’re trying to explain and being met with incomprehension, and it’s like being in the twilight zone.

Is there a bit of a pattern here @Lemonypaintpots by any chance? I could easily be over- projecting because of my own experience. But I wouldn’t be at all surprised if there was more gaslighting in this relationship.

By uploading your work into the tool, hasnt he also signed away your ownership of the original design? Your design is now going to be utilised by the AI tool in its repository of materials for all of its future. And the modified AI version as intellectual property is owned by whoever owns the tool? I’d be furious. It’s not just morals, it’s the commercially ignorant aspect of what he’s done.

"John - you knew I don't like AI tattoo designs. I'm going to design a tattoo with my name on it and you're going to get exactly that, otherwise it's over"

I feel for him and you. I think your skills go over his head. Imagine if this was the same story but about music - perhaps you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference but a skilled musician would immediately spot it. He doesn’t realise what he’s done.

The point of a degree is that you are expanding your thinking and your skillset. And you need to broaden your horizons. I finished my art degree in 2018 as a mature student so I was confronted with the raise of AI very soon after. I pivoted with my work and I have a growing small business combining my art skills with 3D design. I see a massive shift back to handmade work and hand-drawn design and illustration precisely because of the oversaturation of AI. People pay a lot more for human art. But I also use AI for other aspects of my business and incorporating it into my workflow for non-creative tasks which freed up a lot of my time to focus on my art.

People use “AI” for things that aren’t AI … but Kudos to the software firms, who are just repacking graphic design software (that has been around for a long time my) as “AI”.

Tattoo designers (and others) have been using software to scan images in, edit them, and print them into transfers for the last 20 years.

Exactly. Bit disingenuous isn't it?

I think it's gross that he used AI. It's embarrassing. Make AI cringe. It's insulting to the creative process. The concept of having your illustration tattooed onto his body is lovely, it's saying he wants a part of you with him always, it's saying he recognises your skill and finds your work aesthetically pleasing. Even if he'd not used AI and this was 20 years ago and instead he got another person to change your design, that would've been hurtful but to use AI when he knows full well the threat it's brought to creative freelancers and is very often objectively ugly, is mind boggling.

He should be embarrassed. You should have spoken up even though you were on the spot at the tattoo place. My major take away is that you have big communication issues. It doesn't have to be an argument to share your opinions, thoughts and feelings on anything. "I love that you want my name in there but this AI slop is not my design and I'm hurt that you'd choose this. If you don't like my design, that's fine, but you've not asked for any changes to it."

I'm guessing he had your name inked on as a memory of you not a signature of your work.

Unreasonable for not wanting to finish yoyr degree yes
Being pissed off and reminded of it every time you look at him not.
However his body his choice

Don't throw your toys out of the pram OP. You will regret not finishing your degree. Let yourself calm down. He knows he's fucked up.

But next time he asks for your help. Tell him no because he can't be trusted and he dented your confidence the last time.

God, this really got me thinking. And it is so depressing. I guess the reality is that, thanks to AI, training as an illustrator is radically less likely now to have economic benefit. But it seems like your husband's choices have struck you at a much deeper level.

Lots of people, especially mature students, are looking to deepen their creativity and express themselves more effectively in their developing skills, rather than just training for a career. It is a way of finding more meaning in life. And it seems like you feel that project has been eroded by your husband's choices. Your design was a way for him to see you and value you and he blew it.

Should that make you devalue your talents and devalue the project of developing them? The world will be an incredibly bleak place if humans no longer have the project of human-created beauty and insight as a way of making meaning in their life. I feel like we have to find a way of making AI's talents irrelevant to the assessments of our own creativity.

Would it be worth making a comparison with the beauty of nature and the universe? None of us can match that. All of our attempts are paltry and limited compared with that beauty. And AI's attempts certainly are. But that doesn't erode the value of our attempts, and I guess that may be because our human subjectivity and consciousness is part of how our creativity is assessed. Nature isn't art, because it doesn't have a creator (unless you believe in god). Similarly, nothing made by AI is art because it doesn't have a creator.

Your husband may have missed or devalued that characteristic of art, but that doesn't mean that it is lacking in reality.

He was incredibly stupid to put your design into AI and not expect you to be upset!

He has been a bit of a twat and you aren't being unreasonable to be upset but for goodness sake finish your degree.

Can he/would he have another tattoo over your name?

I agree it was disrespectful of him to choose an AI version of the design. I also agree it was disrespectful of him to put you on the spot about this too.

I would concentrate on those points when talking to him.

Finish your degree and try not to worry about AI too much.

A career in illustration has been difficult for many decades now (I am in the industry) long before AI became so prevalent. So, finish what you started and I wish you the best for the future.

If you work in the Arts you will need to develop a thick skin and the ability not to catastrophise, and be able to sell yourself. So my advice would be to work on that. Good luck

YANBU to feel the way you do.

YABVU not to have said something before your husband got it permanently tattooed on his body. That's a really shabby thing to do.

As far as I can see, AI does produce brain rot in the people who use it, who lose both taste facilities and also confidence in their own judgment, to the point that they can't choose something if it hasn't been fed to them by AI. That's one of the (many) things I find alarming about AI, the way that it's removing people's ability to say not just "This is the one I like, deep in my soul I prefer it" but more importantly "It doesn't matter what the 'all-knowing' AI says, I can choose this myself with confidence and security".

All sorts of buyers, stylists, make up artists etc are commenting online that while in the past, people would come in and say "I love this [pink lipstick/green flares/velvet platforms], can you find me something like this", now they'll come in with what AI has told them they want, and even if AI has made up the item, they'll be extremely panicky and alarmed about finding something that suits them better, but hasn't been AI-tweaked and AI-approved

I wonder if something like this has happened with your husband: AI 'knows best', and therefore his tattoo had to be 'improved' by it before he went ahead with it.

Either way, I totally get why you're upset. Please finish your degree - good taste is going to become absolutely key over the next few years, as AI shows it has absolutely terrible taste, and you'll have the skills to show it off.

I think you just have to make the best of it.

Finish your degree and carve out a business with the usp of not using AI. I'm petty enough that I'd use his tattoo as an example of AI mangling your work 💩

But its also a valuable lesson to both control your work with what you allow clients access to and enforce it in contract vs whether you control your own feelings and decide to let it slide.

Huge amount of disrespect from him. He knows very well how you feel about AI, he was given chances to tweak the work any way he wanted. Then he chose to add your name but literally turn it into something he knew you'd outright dislike. A new way of expressing disdain for someone right there.

With all due respect, this very much sounds like you are regularly feeding your work through ai

It will have stored it, and use it in the future

AI slop is everywhere now and it’s so obvious. The butty shop by my work has now got a horrendous over-saturated logo plastered all over it and it looks tacky and puts me off.

A close family member of mine is an established graphic designer. They were in high demand, work for an agency and used to freelance.

The freelance work has dried up because clients are just using AI. Their work at the agency has changed and they spend most of their day feeding prompts into AI - which they hate.

That industry has changed fast and that’s probably worth knowing if you’re studying in it.

I think your husband was unreasonable.