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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be nervous

144 replies

LetTheSunshine001 · 08/04/2026 21:14

I’m going out the beginning of next month. I’m going to a concert at the o2 with a friend. On the way back for the last leg of the journey, we will separate and get on different trains. She’s okay about this but I’m nervous, I’m literally on my own train for about 10 minutes before I get off and get into my taxi. It will be about 12ish at night and I’m a bit nervous.
has anyone done this before and have they been ok? I’ve watched too many crime programmes to know the possibilities of what could happen 🫣 Aibu to worry?

OP posts:
decorationday · 09/04/2026 21:47

YouLookLikeStevieNicks · 09/04/2026 21:08

Please don't video call your husband on a train, the entire train doesn't want to hear your conversation. Use earphones or just hold the phone to your ear.

Plus as pp have said you're more likely to get into trouble if you're not paying attention to your surroundings because you're on a video call.

Sowhat1976 · 09/04/2026 21:39

I don't think you are unreasonable to be worried. You feel how you feel. I think that it's normal to worry about things that are a bit out of the ordinary for you. You will be fine. I wouldn't be video calling or have your phone out. I think that makes you distracted and vulnerable. The best thing you can do is try to look confident. I'd also try to get on a busy cartridge if there is one. I've travelled a lot on public transport and never had an issue.

CleanandLight109 · 09/04/2026 21:33

Yes @Macaroni46 someone else had pointed that out up thread and I did respond with: Sorry @LetTheSunshine001 I assumed you were a teenager 🤭 You will be fine - our girls were on and off buses,tubes and trains from 11 years old in the day and from 15 at night.

It appears the idea of my DD's going to school alone at 11 had shocked one poster so much it has nearly derailed the thread - so apologies also for that @LetTheSunshine001

Macaroni46 · 09/04/2026 21:27

CleanandLight109 · 09/04/2026 20:17

Could your parents come and meet you at the station where you split with your friend? If would have done this for my DC as if this is your first concert it will feel a bit new and next time you'll be fine.

She’s 33!! 🤣🤣🤣

SleepingStandingUp · 09/04/2026 21:26

Has anyone caught a train alone and survived? Yes.

Is it a particularly crime-ridden area where you live? Can you get off with her and get a taxi?

Cutelittlepuppy · 09/04/2026 21:24

Honestly. I spent most of my later 20's and early 30's in London. Night buses / waiting at bus stop in Camden slightly drunk at 3am/ walking around late at night. The horror stories are very very rare. You will be fine. This journey I would not count as any kind of risk.

teenagedirtbag1990 · 09/04/2026 21:22

Shen field is a really nice fluent area

AgathaHoccleve · 09/04/2026 21:21

GardeningMummy · 09/04/2026 21:08

Jesus Christ. No wonder there’s so many missing children in London.

Are you as unusually sheltered as the OP? Do you imagine thousands of 11 year olds go missing on a daily basis on their way to school on public transport?

SUUUUUUNNNNN · 09/04/2026 21:20

GardeningMummy · 09/04/2026 21:08

Jesus Christ. No wonder there’s so many missing children in London.

How many missing children are there in London then?!

CleanandLight109 · 09/04/2026 21:17

GardeningMummy · 09/04/2026 21:01

WTF?! 11 years old?!

I'm thinking you do not live in London @GardeningMummy?
Yes the buses/tubes and trains are the way our children get to school every day and visit their friends/go shopping etc.

aspirationalferret · 09/04/2026 21:16

i have a personal alarm that is discreet. There’s a finger loop and then if you’re in danger then you can pull it and it squeals LOUD. It also has a handy torch.

I doubt anything will happen as I expect it will be busy and you can keep close to others. But it might make your feel better to have something like that?

If you do use earphones then only have 1 in so that you can hear what’s going on around you.

try to stand straight and appear confident.

I’ve been there many times and still get a bit nervous so I don’t blame you. Try to have a good time though and not worry about it!!

ImFinePMSL · 09/04/2026 21:16

GardeningMummy · 09/04/2026 21:01

WTF?! 11 years old?!

I live up North, and we all started getting buses and trams at 11 when we started secondary school in the 2000’s.

Woahtherehoney · 09/04/2026 21:15

Shenfield is a busy station at all times of the day as it’s a major station on that line - it’s a crossing point for lots of trains. You’ll be fine.

Evaka · 09/04/2026 21:15

GardeningMummy · 09/04/2026 21:08

Jesus Christ. No wonder there’s so many missing children in London.

Eh?

ChickenBananaBanana · 09/04/2026 21:12

Really op?

hazelnutvanillalatte · 09/04/2026 21:10

GardeningMummy · 09/04/2026 21:01

WTF?! 11 years old?!

Yes, kids usually use public transport starting in secondary school

LividArse · 09/04/2026 21:10

Christ-a-fuckin-live.

GardeningMummy · 09/04/2026 21:08

AgathaHoccleve · 09/04/2026 21:06

Absolutely. How do you think children get to school in London?

Jesus Christ. No wonder there’s so many missing children in London.

YouLookLikeStevieNicks · 09/04/2026 21:08

Please don't video call your husband on a train, the entire train doesn't want to hear your conversation. Use earphones or just hold the phone to your ear.

AgathaHoccleve · 09/04/2026 21:06

GardeningMummy · 09/04/2026 21:01

WTF?! 11 years old?!

Absolutely. How do you think children get to school in London?

Evaka · 09/04/2026 21:05

GardeningMummy · 09/04/2026 21:01

WTF?! 11 years old?!

Kids in my London neighbourhood (pretty run down and very busy) travel independently from younger than 11.

GardeningMummy · 09/04/2026 21:04

zantez · 09/04/2026 20:48

I think you have to look confident even if you're not and be aware of your surroundings! But remember we only hear about the bad things, and rarely hear about all the millions of journeys made by lone women at night. That's what I always try to remember anyway.

Regarding phone and personal belongings safety, I have a little tip if anyone is interested, maybe most of you have done this already.... or you might think I'm daft, who knows, but it works for me.

Obviously use a cross body bag, make sure the bag has an inside zip and a hole in the zip pull for attaching things to. Get a clip key ring and attach your house keys to the zip. I was terrible for mislaying/losing my house keys. Not any more!

Then since our phones are the most essential and precious item in our lives now, a good way to keep them safe is to use one of these - (sorry for long link)

https://www.amazon.co.uk/LICQIC-Stretchy-keychain-Colourful-Keychain/dp/B0DNYXJYS1/ref=sxin_15_pa_sp_search_thematic_sspa?cv_ct_cx=spiral%2Bkeyrings%2Bstretchy%2Belastic%2Bkeychain%2Bwith%2Bphone%2Battachment&sbo=RZvfv%2F%2FHxDF%2BO5021pAnSA%3D%3D&sr=1-1-fbc3951e-6c4e-4104-85d5-8dff376e781b-spons&aref=lmCN5slu13&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9zZWFyY2hfdGhlbWF0aWM

Then attach it to this on your phone -

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Stainless-Phone-Lanyard-Universal-Phone-Strap-Smartphones/dp/B0FS28QNXR/ref=sr_1_3_sspa?sr=8-3-spons&aref=Dt6Gdotej6&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9hdGY&psc=1

Then clip the curly wire end to the zip pull inside your bag.

You can stretch it out to use it but it can't A. be lost, or B. be stolen.

I have one for every bag I use! OK then I am daft 😊

That’s a nice thought but unfortunately that curly wire thingy would snap in a split second if someone tried to snatch it!

Evaka · 09/04/2026 21:04

I'm intrigued OP. How do you normally have nights out with friends? Do you taxi everywhere and stay very local? No judgment, just kind of amazed that someone would be nervous to travel on a train after a concert in London. Literally tens of thousands of women (including me) do it every night of the week without a thought.

GardeningMummy · 09/04/2026 21:01

CleanandLight109 · 09/04/2026 20:26

Oh dear. Thanks for that information@AgathaHoccleve
Sorry @LetTheSunshine001 I assumed you were a teenager 🤭 You will be fine - out girls were on and off buses,tubes and trains from 11 years old in the day and from 15 at night.

WTF?! 11 years old?!

AgathaHoccleve · 09/04/2026 20:55

LetTheSunshine001 · 09/04/2026 18:34

I am 33🤣🤣

Gently, OP, do you not leave the house much or something? Did you genuinely expect hundreds of Mners claim to never have travelled solo on a train for ten minutes after dark?

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