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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be nervous

144 replies

LetTheSunshine001 · 08/04/2026 21:14

I’m going out the beginning of next month. I’m going to a concert at the o2 with a friend. On the way back for the last leg of the journey, we will separate and get on different trains. She’s okay about this but I’m nervous, I’m literally on my own train for about 10 minutes before I get off and get into my taxi. It will be about 12ish at night and I’m a bit nervous.
has anyone done this before and have they been ok? I’ve watched too many crime programmes to know the possibilities of what could happen 🫣 Aibu to worry?

OP posts:
AgathaHoccleve · 11/04/2026 10:52

LetTheSunshine001 · 11/04/2026 10:34

Yes of course. I’ve been in a wheelchair for 9 years, so I’ve found it hard to go out by myself as always need someone with me. I’ve gained some mobility back now, I still walk with a frame sometimes but I’m definitely more able to get around now unlike before.
before anyone says , I’m in the less mobile section of the concert fyi 🙂

So for all of you saying it isn’t normal. Maybe not for a normal able bodied 33 year old. I’ve not long learned to walk again let one defend myself if needed. Yes I am capable of going by myself.
This is for all of you grown women mocking me.
Mumsnet at its finest

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Respectfully, that’s one hell of a drip feed. As you didn’t put all the information in your OP, you won’t get responses that take an disability into account.

Original poster
LetTheSunshine001 · 11/04/2026 10:34

BoogieTownTop · 11/04/2026 06:26

Good you’re getting help, because as you can see this is not reasonable behaviour.

But purely a mum does not mean not going out, mums go out.

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Yes of course. I’ve been in a wheelchair for 9 years, so I’ve found it hard to go out by myself as always need someone with me. I’ve gained some mobility back now, I still walk with a frame sometimes but I’m definitely more able to get around now unlike before.
before anyone says , I’m in the less mobile section of the concert fyi 🙂

So for all of you saying it isn’t normal. Maybe not for a normal able bodied 33 year old. I’ve not long learned to walk again let one defend myself if needed. Yes I am capable of going by myself.
This is for all of you grown women mocking me.
Mumsnet at its finest

OP posts:
BoogieTownTop · 11/04/2026 06:26

LetTheSunshine001 · 10/04/2026 22:44

No I do t go out! I’m purely a mum and I have social anxiety! This is the first time I’ve been out out for over 10 years! I’m getting therapy for that amongst other things. I had an accident 15 years ago which left me disabled so I seem to feel more vulnerable for some reason!

Good you’re getting help, because as you can see this is not reasonable behaviour.

But purely a mum does not mean not going out, mums go out.

Original poster
LetTheSunshine001 · 10/04/2026 22:44

No I do t go out! I’m purely a mum and I have social anxiety! This is the first time I’ve been out out for over 10 years! I’m getting therapy for that amongst other things. I had an accident 15 years ago which left me disabled so I seem to feel more vulnerable for some reason!

OP posts:
thatsgotit · 10/04/2026 22:16

BoogieTownTop · 10/04/2026 15:14

Well if something has caused this, why doesn’t OP deal with that? She must recognise that this is not by any means reasonable behaviour!

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We don’t actually know she isn’t taking steps to ‘deal with that’.

Thistoo2023 · 10/04/2026 15:44

GardeningMummy · 09/04/2026 21:53

9,370

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🤣🤣🤣 FFS. I’ve just looked at exactly what you must have read to come to come up with that figure and your comprehension skills are a joke!

BoogieTownTop · 10/04/2026 15:40

GardeningMummy · 09/04/2026 21:57

Again, 20 years ago the world was extremely different risk-wise. Back in the 80s I was walking to and from school alone in year 3! Now, I wouldn’t let my 11yr old (year 6) walk to the next street alone and I live in a very nice place.
We live in an exceptionally dangerous world now, especially with open borders in this country!

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Nice bit of everyday racism thrown in there! Mind you with this crazy mad attitude you’re not likely to be taken much notice off.

TheCurious0range · 10/04/2026 15:29

I've used Shenfield loads, I used to commute through there, it now has the Lizzy line, it's busy , staffed , lit and has CCTV it's a common changing point onto greater Anglia

BoogieTownTop · 10/04/2026 15:14

thatsgotit · 10/04/2026 14:50

Well then maybe you should ask yourself what might have led OP to feel this way. No one ever knows what other people go through.

Bloody hell, I've flown to Australia solo and done various similar things, but I'm still capable of understanding that OP isn't me and has a different set of life experiences. It's not really that hard.

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Well if something has caused this, why doesn’t OP deal with that? She must recognise that this is not by any means reasonable behaviour!

thatsgotit · 10/04/2026 14:50

AgathaHoccleve · 10/04/2026 14:27

I haven't had an empathy bypass. I don't think my empathy is needed in a situation where a woman well into adulthood appears to have led so cloistered an existence that she regards ten minutes by herself on a train followed by getting into a taxi as unusual and frightening enough for her to start an internet post, apparently genuinely, asking if any other women have ever spent ten minutes by themselves on a train at night.

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Well then maybe you should ask yourself what might have led OP to feel this way. No one ever knows what other people go through.

Bloody hell, I've flown to Australia solo and done various similar things, but I'm still capable of understanding that OP isn't me and has a different set of life experiences. It's not really that hard.

AgathaHoccleve · 10/04/2026 14:27

thatsgotit · 10/04/2026 10:42

Some people on this thread are a bloody disgrace. If you've never had a fear in your life, crack on, but maybe try and learn some empathy while you're at it. Just because the post is in AIBU doesn't mean it's a free-for-all to sneer, belittle the OP, and post crying-with-laughter emojis. Or it shouldn't mean that to a decent human being anyway.

OP, I think you'll be fine but just so you know, some of us haven't had an empathy bypass and do get it. Enjoy the concert!

I haven't had an empathy bypass. I don't think my empathy is needed in a situation where a woman well into adulthood appears to have led so cloistered an existence that she regards ten minutes by herself on a train followed by getting into a taxi as unusual and frightening enough for her to start an internet post, apparently genuinely, asking if any other women have ever spent ten minutes by themselves on a train at night.

AgathaHoccleve · 10/04/2026 14:24

bostonchamps · 10/04/2026 14:13

Me too and now I haunt people who video call people on trains.

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I would watch the hell out of this if someone remade Ghost without Patrick Swayze worrying about Demi Moore and whether she will be murdered before she can make another wonky ceramic in her cute dungarees, but with a vigilante ghost who runs a campaign of supernatural intimidation against video-callers on trains, or people who don't use headphones when watching dopey Youtube videos on buses.

SentFromIpheon · 10/04/2026 14:21

CleanandLight109 · 09/04/2026 20:17

Could your parents come and meet you at the station where you split with your friend? If would have done this for my DC as if this is your first concert it will feel a bit new and next time you'll be fine.

😂😂😂😂😂😂

OP is in her 30s. Not teens.

bostonchamps · 10/04/2026 14:13

Happytaytos · 09/04/2026 21:54

I once got murdered doing this, wouldn't reccommend.

Me too and now I haunt people who video call people on trains.

thatsgotit · 10/04/2026 14:03

ImFinePMSL · 10/04/2026 12:25

It’s not normal for a 33 year old adult to be scared of a 10 minute train journey alone.

Not normal at all.

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I didn't say it was. It's the mocking and sneering from other pps I've got a problem with.

ImFinePMSL · 10/04/2026 12:25

thatsgotit · 10/04/2026 10:42

Some people on this thread are a bloody disgrace. If you've never had a fear in your life, crack on, but maybe try and learn some empathy while you're at it. Just because the post is in AIBU doesn't mean it's a free-for-all to sneer, belittle the OP, and post crying-with-laughter emojis. Or it shouldn't mean that to a decent human being anyway.

OP, I think you'll be fine but just so you know, some of us haven't had an empathy bypass and do get it. Enjoy the concert!

It’s not normal for a 33 year old adult to be scared of a 10 minute train journey alone.

Not normal at all.

thatsgotit · 10/04/2026 10:42

Some people on this thread are a bloody disgrace. If you've never had a fear in your life, crack on, but maybe try and learn some empathy while you're at it. Just because the post is in AIBU doesn't mean it's a free-for-all to sneer, belittle the OP, and post crying-with-laughter emojis. Or it shouldn't mean that to a decent human being anyway.

OP, I think you'll be fine but just so you know, some of us haven't had an empathy bypass and do get it. Enjoy the concert!

Pizzahncher · 10/04/2026 09:17

BoogieTownTop · 10/04/2026 07:19

They’ll be the OP in another 20 years, locked in a world they’re to scared to explore! Asking has anyone ever travelled 10 mins alone.

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I thought this too 🫠

mumbleleaf · 10/04/2026 09:15

Happytaytos · 09/04/2026 21:54

I once got murdered doing this, wouldn't reccommend.

😂😂😂

BoogieTownTop · 10/04/2026 07:19

Macaroni46 · 09/04/2026 22:36

Good grief, your poor DC. Somewhat overprotected - how are they going to learn life skills if you won’t even let them walk to the next street?

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They’ll be the OP in another 20 years, locked in a world they’re to scared to explore! Asking has anyone ever travelled 10 mins alone.

BoogieTownTop · 10/04/2026 07:16

GardeningMummy · 09/04/2026 21:08

Jesus Christ. No wonder there’s so many missing children in London.

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Is there?

BoogieTownTop · 10/04/2026 07:11

I did it and got killed!

You live and learn.

Lillers · 10/04/2026 06:45

You’ll be fine OP. Don’t spend the whole time worrying and therefore ruin your enjoyment of the concert.

Maybe do a dummy run of the journey in the daylight at some point before then so at least the station etc itself feels more familiar.

Evaka · 10/04/2026 05:58

GardeningMummy · 09/04/2026 21:57

Again, 20 years ago the world was extremely different risk-wise. Back in the 80s I was walking to and from school alone in year 3! Now, I wouldn’t let my 11yr old (year 6) walk to the next street alone and I live in a very nice place.
We live in an exceptionally dangerous world now, especially with open borders in this country!

Show quote history

You are disconnected from reality my friend. Serious crime has declined by every metric in the past 20 years in the UK including London.

Petty crimes like phone snatching have surged because...the numbers of people wagging expensive phones around in public have surged. Not downplaying how horrible phone theft is but one tends to move on pretty quickly.

Your kid and the literally millions of kids who take public transport around London every year are safer now than 20 years ago. But sounds like that doesn't suit your worldview so probably not much point in calling out the data.

Mcmf · 09/04/2026 23:20

38thparallel · 09/04/2026 22:04

That’s a nice thought but unfortunately that curly wire thingy would snap in a split second if someone tried to snatch it!

That’s true but phone snatchers don’t want to risk pulling a person over and causing them, the phone snatcher, to have an accident. They just want to grab the phone as fast as they can and be off.
Op, keep your phone hidden and your hand bag/backpack well secured.

Phone snatchers do not give a shit. I was mugged outside my central London office at 37 weeks pregnant (and absolutely enormous) in broad daylight. I doubt they can see the small string especially if they are coming up behind you

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