Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not understand what this parent was thinking?

461 replies

Frequency · 08/04/2026 20:59

While out with my rottweiler x this afternoon, I noticed he was panting more than I was comfortable with, so I abandoned our walk and took a detour to the nearest shop to buy him a bottle of water.

I crouched down at the edge of a very wide path to give him a drink. I wasn't paying attention to what was around me because I was watching the dog, and no one had any reason to be near us anyway. The pavement is about 8 feet wide on that street, if not wider. We were right at the edge, by the shop window.

The second I stood up, there was a toddler, eye-to-eye with my dog. He must have run up behind me while I was kneeling. He was literally nose to nose with the dog, reaching his hands out to grab/stroke the dog's face.

My dog is friendly but a little wary of small children, so I tend to keep him away from them.

Luckily, DD was with me and had spotted the kid and managed to hold his hands before he grabbed the dog's face and loudly told him, "Sorry, he's scared of kids, and he's just trying to have a drink, can you leave him alone, please?" She had to say it loudly because his mum and her friend had continued walking and were now a good 10 feet away from us. At this point, the mother then shouted at her other small child (around 7 or 8) to "get the baby," so the dog now had 2 kids to contend with while the mother kept walking away, ranting about how the young girl was supposed to be "watching the baby."

DD has anxiety and was really shaken by it, and can't stop thinking about how much worse it could have been if our dog were not friendly, or if the kid had managed to grab the dog's face and spooked/hurt him.

I still just cannot fathom what the mother was thinking, allowing her toddler to run up to a strange dog who was obviously eating/drinking, get nose to nose with him to try to grab him, and then send a second child over after she's made aware he is not a friendly dog?

Surely it is common sense to know that nose-to-nose with a strange, large breed dog, who is eating/drinking, is not a safe place to be, no matter how friendly the dog is?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
BoarBrush · 09/04/2026 20:44

We've got a lab, he's never met a kid he's disliked, I'd trust him round a newborn 100x more than a random (it's usually women he hates strangely) but by fuck has he met many an adult that he'll outright snarl and bark at like he's a security dog, tbf to him, all of them have looked a bit dodgy, and I say that as someone who is common as muck. I judge his good sense of character. I still don't want a toddler near him as his tails fucking lethal, he's 30kg of pure muscle, so the parent would be told straight off.

Galtymore · 09/04/2026 20:13

Keepingthingsinteresting · 09/04/2026 19:44

How exactly was @Frequency wrong? What did she do, or fail to do? Aside from you clearly thinking dogs shouldn’t exist in the world or should all be unnecessarily muzzled she was entirely sensible. It was the mother who failed in all regards, it is only due to OP and her daughter, and her dog being good, that avoided something happening.

Your ant dog frothing is obscuring your vision.

I like dogs a lot.

OP needed to be more aware of her environment for a start. A toddler shouldn’t have been able to get nose to nose with her dog before she noticed. Muzzling would be a good idea in the circumstances imo.

Whattodo1610 · 09/04/2026 20:08

NoisyHiker · 09/04/2026 08:44

You know the disdain you feel for those ignorant people tarring big dogs under one brush? How annoying them making assumptions because of sterotypes and a lack of intelligence/understanding is?

Small dogs have this reputation because of owners who don't understand what their breed needs (in the case of chihuahuas and other toy breeds, very early training that big hands near their heads is a good thing and extensive socialisation). The problem is shitty owners who think a small dog barking or growling from terror is 'cute' and who treat them more like an accessory than a dog, making them miserable.

Our smaller rescue dogs have always needed far more work than the big ones around making them feel safe in the world and not experiencing fear aggression. Our chihuahua from a puppy has been the most trainable, loving dog (we often have people saying 'I don't usually like small dogs but...'.

Negative breed/dog stereotypes are usually 80% down to shit owners.

My comment is based on my experience with many dogs. Not a comment based on stereotypical views. I genuinely have yet to meet a small dog that is not yappy and snappy. Big dogs I’ve encountered tend to not be this way.

I agree with you however, that dogs’ behaviour is a direct result of the owners’ inability to train them.

Keepingthingsinteresting · 09/04/2026 19:44

Galtymore · 09/04/2026 13:19

Yes. OP was wrong too though.

How exactly was @Frequency wrong? What did she do, or fail to do? Aside from you clearly thinking dogs shouldn’t exist in the world or should all be unnecessarily muzzled she was entirely sensible. It was the mother who failed in all regards, it is only due to OP and her daughter, and her dog being good, that avoided something happening.

Your ant dog frothing is obscuring your vision.

Whattodo1610 · 09/04/2026 19:44

Llamamaman · 08/04/2026 23:45

Kids don’t have common sense. Not when they’re tiny. Doesn’t mean they should be at risk of a mauling.

Otherwise, put your kid in with a fucking gorillla at the zoo and demand the child knows how to safely interact. No? Because it’s not up to the child. You have to make the gorilla safe. Ditto the nervous vicious dog. Muzzle it

Hahaha honestly you’re deluded. Here’s a thought.. PARENT the child!

Whattodo1610 · 09/04/2026 19:42

Llamamaman · 08/04/2026 23:42

Can you imagine any other deadly animal being able to roam around where humans are? Muzzle your dogs. They’re killers

Oh my life 😆😆😆 OTT much 😆😆😆

Leonberger · 09/04/2026 19:35

We have giant dogs (big fluffy ones) but people frequently amaze me with how clueless about dogs they are.

People trying to cuddle them, kiss them on the nose, leaning over them, asking me why I won’t let them off lead to play with their chihuahua. Encouraging children to come cuddle them. Grabbing fur as I walk past. Asking for selfies and sticking their faces alongside the dogs. Walking them up if they are asleep. People letting their tiny off lead cockerpoo run up barking and growling and then laughing about it cos it’s so funny as mine are so big and theirs so small.

My dogs are extremity well behaved, always on headcollars and leads in public to protect them from the silliness of the general public. I think anyone with a big dog needs to be very aware of others!

Keepingthingsinteresting · 09/04/2026 19:28

Wishingplenty · 08/04/2026 23:39

I cannot "fathom" the selfishness that are dog owners. It is bad enough that no where is free of dogs, they're literally bloody everywhere, but Mums are literally confronted with dogs everywhere they go, it is literally exhausting trying to dodge them all and toddlers don't know any better. The irony of your post when dogs literally pounce on anyone and everyone when at the park or the beach, and we all just have to smile and bare it, because Fido is just being "friendly" but the same courtesy is not extended to a literal human child is just mind boggling to me. Telling a toddler to go away is also not fine, that is bloody awful. Basically we all have to be tolerant of dogs, but children are not treated with the same respect, they're literally less than! Why does anyone need to own a rottweiler anyway? Children should be able to live in society without the fear of being attacke by someone's pet. That is what you are really saying OP that if your dog snapped it would be the childs fault and not the dogs. Your literally laying blame at that childs feet to cover the fact if your dogged snapped and attacked the child you would be exonerated of all blame. Well you are wrong, because you know what rottweilers are capable of, and if you must own such dangerously stupid dog for whatever ego trip you need, you could at least have the decency to muzzle the beast when your out in public so there would be no need for your horribly self righteous and self absorbed post.

Why oh why did they take away the laughing emoji?

whynotwhatknot · 09/04/2026 19:25

the mother shouold have been parenting her toddler end of

you did nothing wrong op

Ally886 · 09/04/2026 15:13

Galtymore · 09/04/2026 09:34

A muzzle is what’s needed in public places if a dog might react poorly.

All dogs could react. That's the risk you take when approaching one by surprise

Frequency · 09/04/2026 15:00

Llamamaman · 09/04/2026 14:43

This is one of only a handful of times a child has tried to interact with this dog. Usually, people cross the road to avoid getting close to him.

wow. So you admit you have a dog that people are fearful of. You’re concerned how he may react to children. Just bloody muzzle him ffs. Why would you not?

  1. I cannot control other people's irrational fears.

  2. I have never said that my dog is reactive or that I am worried about him acting aggressively. The biggest issue I would have if he were startled by a child would him attempting to bolt, which is mitigated by his head collar, double-ended leash attached to his head collar and harness, and the multiple handles on his harness. As it stands, children don't cause him fear, so he doesn't try to bolt. Nor would a muzzle prevent him from bolting.

The biggest danger was to myself because his usual behaviour when faced with something he is not scared of but is a bit unsure of is to lose the ability to hold up his own bodyweight and collapse onto my leg. Again, this is mitigated by the handles on his harness. A muzzle would be useless.

If you feel I have missed a detail in my OP or following posts, ask me, don't just make stuff up to suit your agenda. It makes you look silly.

OP posts:
MotherOfCrocodiles · 09/04/2026 14:58

I would say it is the dog that needs to be under control, not the child.

Llamamaman · 09/04/2026 14:43

This is one of only a handful of times a child has tried to interact with this dog. Usually, people cross the road to avoid getting close to him.

wow. So you admit you have a dog that people are fearful of. You’re concerned how he may react to children. Just bloody muzzle him ffs. Why would you not?

Galtymore · 09/04/2026 14:31

Goditsmemargaret · 09/04/2026 14:22

I'm terrified of rottweilers. When I was little my mother's best friend had three. We were constantly left alone with them and they were aggressive, pinned me against a wall once growling in my face.

I agree OP that mother was very lax, just like mine. Abhorrent behaviour.

I'm not in the UK and rottweilers are supposed to be muzzled here but they frequently are not. In my neighbourhood they are often off lead too. Ugh.

If you know who owns them you can report.

Galtymore · 09/04/2026 14:29

RedWineCupcakes · 09/04/2026 14:17

Fair enough. Thought I had read all her posts.

Fact remains, the dog does not look remotely Rottie other than coat colour, the head/snout/jaw are all completely the wrong shape. People here are reacting to Rottweiler, from a position of breed ignorance. I don't avoid Rotties, let alone a crossbreed dog that doesn't look remotely like one. If I still had small children, it would be my responsibility to keep them far enough away from an on leash dog for there not to be a risk.

I am old enough to remember when dogs were tied up outside shops. In those days, parents taught their children to stay away. And if the child was too young to understand, they held their hands and stopped them running off.

I’m not disagreeing that the parent should have been much more careful.
But ultimately it’s OP who bears responsibility for her dog’s actions. He’d have been PTS if he’d bitten that child. OP could have faced charges or been sued. She needs to be more careful and ensure that can’t happen.

The only way she can do this is by changing her own behaviour (eg by muzzling ). She can’t control others. It doesn’t matter how little she thinks of them really.

Goditsmemargaret · 09/04/2026 14:22

I'm terrified of rottweilers. When I was little my mother's best friend had three. We were constantly left alone with them and they were aggressive, pinned me against a wall once growling in my face.

I agree OP that mother was very lax, just like mine. Abhorrent behaviour.

I'm not in the UK and rottweilers are supposed to be muzzled here but they frequently are not. In my neighbourhood they are often off lead too. Ugh.

RedWineCupcakes · 09/04/2026 14:17

Galtymore · 09/04/2026 13:42

In her last post OP said:
“Usually, people cross the road to avoid getting close to him.”

Edited

Fair enough. Thought I had read all her posts.

Fact remains, the dog does not look remotely Rottie other than coat colour, the head/snout/jaw are all completely the wrong shape. People here are reacting to Rottweiler, from a position of breed ignorance. I don't avoid Rotties, let alone a crossbreed dog that doesn't look remotely like one. If I still had small children, it would be my responsibility to keep them far enough away from an on leash dog for there not to be a risk.

I am old enough to remember when dogs were tied up outside shops. In those days, parents taught their children to stay away. And if the child was too young to understand, they held their hands and stopped them running off.

Rotundra · 09/04/2026 14:16

GrumpyButOk · 09/04/2026 13:53

To follow your logic:
Unsupervised child runs up to grab drinking dog, dog bites, it's the dog owners fault.
Unsupervised child runs out in front of moving car, car hits child, it's the car driver's fault.

Yes, both could very well be culpable. I can't believe the number of people that don't know this.

I know you're gagging for the mother to be implicated as well, and that actually may be true to varying degrees but the primary responsibility for any action by the dog remains with the owner.

Galtymore · 09/04/2026 14:09

Frequency · 09/04/2026 14:04

I'm starting to think Galtymore and friends might be the mum and her friends. FYI, your eight-year-old is not old enough to reliably supervise herself on a busy road, much less a toddler.

Do better.

😂😂😂
Talk about clutching at straws!

(If you’re paying that much attention to my posts you’ll notice I already said upthread that I’m not in the UK. It’s illegal to walk a Rottweiler cross without a muzzle where I am btw. I know that’s not relevant in the UK but these laws aren’t made elsewhere without reason.)

Galtymore · 09/04/2026 14:05

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 09/04/2026 13:59

The op was supervising her dog.

Whoever was looking after the toddler wasn’t supervising it.

Whilst the world is very child centric, it’s unreasonable to expect it to revolve completely around children. If you are a parent your job is to keep the child under control.

The op was supervising her dog.

The toddler was ‘nose to nose’ with OP’s dog before she noticed. She said in her first post that she wasn’t watching the environment, just her dog. If you have a potentially reactive dog you need to be aware of what’s close by.

I agree the parent was at fault too.

Frequency · 09/04/2026 14:04

I'm starting to think Galtymore and friends might be the mum and her friends. FYI, your eight-year-old is not old enough to reliably supervise herself on a busy road, much less a toddler.

Do better.

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 09/04/2026 14:00

Galtymore · 09/04/2026 13:54

Yes. OP can’t do anything about people’s parenting though. Not her responsibility. All she can do is ensure her animal’s safety by making sure he isn’t put in a position where he might bite someone. She can do this by muzzling, walking in a quiet kid-free zone or being constantly vigilant in case kids do approach etc.

This passive parenting is getting ridiculous, it isn’t other people’s job to keep your child safe.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 09/04/2026 13:59

Galtymore · 09/04/2026 13:54

Yes. OP can’t do anything about people’s parenting though. Not her responsibility. All she can do is ensure her animal’s safety by making sure he isn’t put in a position where he might bite someone. She can do this by muzzling, walking in a quiet kid-free zone or being constantly vigilant in case kids do approach etc.

The op was supervising her dog.

Whoever was looking after the toddler wasn’t supervising it.

Whilst the world is very child centric, it’s unreasonable to expect it to revolve completely around children. If you are a parent your job is to keep the child under control.

Galtymore · 09/04/2026 13:54

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 09/04/2026 13:48

The parent was lucky it only ran up to a dog, presumably it could just as easily have run into a road.

If you have a kid with you, you are responsible for keeping it safe. Which means keep it away from possible hazards.

Yes. OP can’t do anything about people’s parenting though. Not her responsibility. All she can do is ensure her animal’s safety by making sure he isn’t put in a position where he might bite someone. She can do this by muzzling, walking in a quiet kid-free zone or being constantly vigilant in case kids do approach etc.

GrumpyButOk · 09/04/2026 13:53

Wishingplenty · 08/04/2026 23:39

I cannot "fathom" the selfishness that are dog owners. It is bad enough that no where is free of dogs, they're literally bloody everywhere, but Mums are literally confronted with dogs everywhere they go, it is literally exhausting trying to dodge them all and toddlers don't know any better. The irony of your post when dogs literally pounce on anyone and everyone when at the park or the beach, and we all just have to smile and bare it, because Fido is just being "friendly" but the same courtesy is not extended to a literal human child is just mind boggling to me. Telling a toddler to go away is also not fine, that is bloody awful. Basically we all have to be tolerant of dogs, but children are not treated with the same respect, they're literally less than! Why does anyone need to own a rottweiler anyway? Children should be able to live in society without the fear of being attacke by someone's pet. That is what you are really saying OP that if your dog snapped it would be the childs fault and not the dogs. Your literally laying blame at that childs feet to cover the fact if your dogged snapped and attacked the child you would be exonerated of all blame. Well you are wrong, because you know what rottweilers are capable of, and if you must own such dangerously stupid dog for whatever ego trip you need, you could at least have the decency to muzzle the beast when your out in public so there would be no need for your horribly self righteous and self absorbed post.

To follow your logic:
Unsupervised child runs up to grab drinking dog, dog bites, it's the dog owners fault.
Unsupervised child runs out in front of moving car, car hits child, it's the car driver's fault.