Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not understand what this parent was thinking?

461 replies

Frequency · 08/04/2026 20:59

While out with my rottweiler x this afternoon, I noticed he was panting more than I was comfortable with, so I abandoned our walk and took a detour to the nearest shop to buy him a bottle of water.

I crouched down at the edge of a very wide path to give him a drink. I wasn't paying attention to what was around me because I was watching the dog, and no one had any reason to be near us anyway. The pavement is about 8 feet wide on that street, if not wider. We were right at the edge, by the shop window.

The second I stood up, there was a toddler, eye-to-eye with my dog. He must have run up behind me while I was kneeling. He was literally nose to nose with the dog, reaching his hands out to grab/stroke the dog's face.

My dog is friendly but a little wary of small children, so I tend to keep him away from them.

Luckily, DD was with me and had spotted the kid and managed to hold his hands before he grabbed the dog's face and loudly told him, "Sorry, he's scared of kids, and he's just trying to have a drink, can you leave him alone, please?" She had to say it loudly because his mum and her friend had continued walking and were now a good 10 feet away from us. At this point, the mother then shouted at her other small child (around 7 or 8) to "get the baby," so the dog now had 2 kids to contend with while the mother kept walking away, ranting about how the young girl was supposed to be "watching the baby."

DD has anxiety and was really shaken by it, and can't stop thinking about how much worse it could have been if our dog were not friendly, or if the kid had managed to grab the dog's face and spooked/hurt him.

I still just cannot fathom what the mother was thinking, allowing her toddler to run up to a strange dog who was obviously eating/drinking, get nose to nose with him to try to grab him, and then send a second child over after she's made aware he is not a friendly dog?

Surely it is common sense to know that nose-to-nose with a strange, large breed dog, who is eating/drinking, is not a safe place to be, no matter how friendly the dog is?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
Frequency · 09/04/2026 01:39

MissSophiaGrace · 09/04/2026 01:30

Your regal beagle cross rottie Spanishy dog is gorgeous. We definitely need more photos of him please to shut the crazy folk up

He's currently asleep on the sofa, dreaming of all the toddlers he's going to eat tomorrow.

He has this odd/annoying/sweet habit of gathering things he likes the smell of before from places he is not supposed to be to keep him company during the night. I'm not entirely sure where he found my slipper, but the clothes he has appear to be my PJs that were in the washing basket in the kitchen.

He's also been known to take empty food packets from the kitchen bin, utensils from the sink or draining board, and my trainers to bed with him. He doesn't chew them, he just lies with them.

To not understand what this parent was thinking?
OP posts:
MissSophiaGrace · 09/04/2026 01:30

Your regal beagle cross rottie Spanishy dog is gorgeous. We definitely need more photos of him please to shut the crazy folk up

Tinytimmy123 · 09/04/2026 01:27

Im always surprised how parents allow their children to run and scream around , kick balls near and run up to unleashed dogs. I walk my dog twice a day every day and wont let him off leash with other dogs around yet my dog has been attacked and lunged at 3 times due to selfish dog owners who dont leash, have no control and/or recall of their dog.

Happyjoe · 09/04/2026 01:23

Rotundra · 09/04/2026 01:11

Not the bus, no. It's the driver of the bus though if they're not mitigating the risk appropriately. For instance, if they knew the brakes were possibly a bit unreliable and don't know their full history. (The bus driver in this scenario is the dog owner, by the way. If that wasn't clear)

I don't make the rules, they just are what they are no matter how much you don't want them to be.

Edited

Ah, I do love a parent who accepts absolutely no responsibility in the safety of their children. It's always someone else's fault if it goes wrong.

I knew the gentlest of dogs who snapped at a visiting neighbours toddler in the dogs own home, heard the jaws snap (no bite, just warning snap). The kid stuck its finger right up the dogs nose and caused the dog a lot of pain. I presume you think the dog should wear a muzzle too.

Frequency · 09/04/2026 01:14

Rotundra · 09/04/2026 01:11

Not the bus, no. It's the driver of the bus though if they're not mitigating the risk appropriately. For instance, if they knew the brakes were possibly a bit unreliable and don't know their full history. (The bus driver in this scenario is the dog owner, by the way. If that wasn't clear)

I don't make the rules, they just are what they are no matter how much you don't want them to be.

Edited

It's a road that leads directly onto the A689, and the part we were on was the end of the residential part where the speed limit changes from 30mph to 40mph. The bus driver wouldn't stand a chance, no matter how new and shiny his brakes were.

The child should have been supervised, and not by his 7-8-year-old sister.

Edited to say our location is why I didn't think about watching out for unsupervised children. It just didn't occur to me that it was something I needed to worry about on the main road through town, which feeds into an A road. If we were in a park or by a school, I would have made sure I was watching out for unsupervised toddlers.

OP posts:
Rotundra · 09/04/2026 01:11

Happyjoe · 09/04/2026 01:04

Is it also the bus's fault when your uncontrolled child runs under it?

Responsibility to mitigate the risks also lies with the parents, like it or not. Sorry about that old bean.

Edited

Not the bus, no. It's the driver of the bus though if they're not mitigating the risk appropriately. For instance, if they knew the brakes were possibly a bit unreliable and don't know their full history. (The bus driver in this scenario is the dog owner, by the way. If that wasn't clear)

I don't make the rules, they just are what they are no matter how much you don't want them to be.

Happyjoe · 09/04/2026 01:04

Rotundra · 08/04/2026 23:30

No. If you have a known nervous dog, especially a large one whose history you do not fully know, it is YOUR responsibility to mitigate the risks, not rely on other people to behave how you think they should.

Is it also the bus's fault when your uncontrolled child runs under it?

Responsibility to mitigate the risks also lies with the parents, like it or not. Sorry about that old bean.

neilyoungismyhero · 09/04/2026 01:02

MyLimeGuide · 08/04/2026 23:03

This. How can a toddler be blamed in this scenario? Aren't these dogs supposed to be illegal anyway? I hope you have a muzzle on him.

It's more beagle looking than Rottie and neither breed are banned. Get a grip dear.

Jellycatspyjamas · 09/04/2026 00:59

CodeAmber · 09/04/2026 00:51

Muzzle your dogs. They are the animal, existing in human society. The onus is on the owners to facilitate their existence not society to bend to accommodate them. I honestly can’t fathom the obsession with dogs in human spaces

I can’t fathom parents who don’t keep their two year old close enough to remove from danger. I guess we both have unfathomables.

Frequency · 09/04/2026 00:56

HortiGal · 09/04/2026 00:33

@Frequency unlikely to have coonhound if he’s spanish ,leonese are a spanish working breed , just say he’s a mixed breed Spanish dog.
We have a rescue and nobody can ever guess what he is

He came from a remote, rural part of Spain full of farmland. He was found at the edge of a farmer's field when he was only 4 weeks old. The rescue made the farmer aware, but apparently, he already knew because he was the one who put him there Sad

The rescue kept him until he was old enough to travel and ensured he had plenty of socialisation with other dogs, since he was taken from his mum too young. Obviously, there were a lot of things they didn't have access to to socialise him with. We got him when he was about 6 months old.

He has a very loud, deep bark and loves all animals, which makes me think he's from livestock guarding/herding lines.

His personality is very rott-like (goofy, clumsy, overly friendly, thinks everything and everyone he sees is a new BFF). His appetite is very Beagle-like. He is not allowed in the kitchen when anyone but me is cooking because he is a stomach on legs and will do things like steal potatoes off the counter while you're distracted filling a pan with water.

OP posts:
CodeAmber · 09/04/2026 00:51

Muzzle your dogs. They are the animal, existing in human society. The onus is on the owners to facilitate their existence not society to bend to accommodate them. I honestly can’t fathom the obsession with dogs in human spaces

Frequency · 09/04/2026 00:45

Fgfgfg · 09/04/2026 00:20

I'm properly trained but I'd snap at you if you grabbed my face when I was trying to have a drink.

He didn't snap, fwiw, nor do I believe that is something he would be likely to do. He turned his head away and leaned into me, which is what he generally does when a child gets too close to him or when he sees something he is unsure of.

DD's reaction was because of her anxiety, and her fear was mostly what if the toddler later did that to a dog that was not as friendly as ours is, which I did actually say in my OP, or hurt our dog and caused him to become more fearful of children.

If I'd been alone with my dog, I would still have been annoyed at the negative interaction he had with a child, and I would have been mildly concerned that this could have escalated his wariness around children.

I prefer to keep him away from children except for controlled, calm, and positive interactions because I don't want his caution around children to turn into fear-aggression. At the moment, he is wary but not fearful to the point of aggression. I would probably have just spun the dog around so his face was out of the way and then asked him to sit before dealing, politely, with the toddler, and with gritted politeness to his mother.

It would later have crossed my mind that it could have been so much worse if the child had approached a less friendly dog in the same way, whereas DD's mind went there immediately because of her anxiety.

OP posts:
RockLobsterRockLobster · 09/04/2026 00:34

HortiGal · 09/04/2026 00:33

@Frequency unlikely to have coonhound if he’s spanish ,leonese are a spanish working breed , just say he’s a mixed breed Spanish dog.
We have a rescue and nobody can ever guess what he is

Absolutely gorgeous 😊

HortiGal · 09/04/2026 00:33

@Frequency unlikely to have coonhound if he’s spanish ,leonese are a spanish working breed , just say he’s a mixed breed Spanish dog.
We have a rescue and nobody can ever guess what he is

To not understand what this parent was thinking?
grizzlyoldbear · 09/04/2026 00:25

I feel like a lot of these posts are written by bots.
I don't think actual humans are this dim and ignorant.

TheTulipsAreOut · 09/04/2026 00:21

Llamamaman · 09/04/2026 00:01

Yeah, but this is just a typical aggressive dog owner comment. What do you disagree with about what I’ve said about safety? Why should humans have to tiptoe around dangerous breeds? Give me one reason for the latter?

This thread isn't about a dangerous breed

HTH

Jellycatspyjamas · 09/04/2026 00:20

jetlag92 · 08/04/2026 23:48

Of course they don't. Ours doesn't. Our friends dogs don't
Children obviously should not approach dogs, as they my not have decent owners but if they do - properly trained dogs should not snap at them

I never mentioned snapping, I mentioned two harmless, common, avoidant reactions which indicate discomfort on the dogs part. So you’re saying your dog never pulls away from or turns their head away from someone unknown to them being nose to nose with them?

Fgfgfg · 09/04/2026 00:20

jetlag92 · 08/04/2026 23:48

Of course they don't. Ours doesn't. Our friends dogs don't
Children obviously should not approach dogs, as they my not have decent owners but if they do - properly trained dogs should not snap at them

I'm properly trained but I'd snap at you if you grabbed my face when I was trying to have a drink.

RockLobsterRockLobster · 09/04/2026 00:19

Wishingplenty · 09/04/2026 00:14

Your persistant arrogance is astounding. Goes with the territory though I suppose.

Rude and unbelievably ignorant about animals 🙄

Wishingplenty · 09/04/2026 00:14

Frequency · 08/04/2026 23:51

If you don't bend down so you're eye level with him and try to grab his face while he's eating/drinking, my dog wants nothing more than to be your best friend forever. He won't introduce himself unless you reach out to him because he knows he's supposed to ignore all of the best friends he hasn't met yet while he's out of the house.

If you do bend down and get in his face while he is eating, it's me you need to worry about, not the dog. I was nice to the toddler because he was a toddler and didn't know any better. It's his mother I'm annoyed with for allowing it to happen.

Your persistant arrogance is astounding. Goes with the territory though I suppose.

Frequency · 09/04/2026 00:09

@HortiGal He does look similar. The rescue said they were 100% certain he was part beagle because mum was a beagle. Their vet guessed dad was a rott/burmese mountain x. My vet decided to register him as a "Reagle". His passport just says hound x.

I've been told he could be loads of things since then. Coonhound is one that's mentioned a lot.

OP posts:
HortiGal · 09/04/2026 00:06

@Llamamaman
The dog isn’t aggressive, he’s a nervous rescue who needs socialised and to learn about the world.
You really are an ignoramus.

Sillycake · 09/04/2026 00:05

CaffeineAndChords · 08/04/2026 22:17

Oh don’t be so ridiculous. What a stupid comment. It’s usually the ‘intimidating’ looking dogs that are the most goofy and lovely. The little ankle biters are more likely to bite or attack you. Coming from someone who’s worked in kennels and a veterinary practice!!!

and someone thats done various streets with leafets, the nasty dogs were mainly the small ones that seemed to have a god complex, most of the larger dogs usually looked and seemed more general dog behaviour that and some cats that loved to bat

RockLobsterRockLobster · 09/04/2026 00:05

Llamamaman · 09/04/2026 00:02

For? Be specific please

Your rabid fear of dogs, and your aggression

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 09/04/2026 00:03

Llamamaman · 09/04/2026 00:01

Yeah, but this is just a typical aggressive dog owner comment. What do you disagree with about what I’ve said about safety? Why should humans have to tiptoe around dangerous breeds? Give me one reason for the latter?

The only aggressive ones are the rabid anti-dog faction 😬

Swipe left for the next trending thread