To think the going out(nightlife drinking) is a trap

I understand your viewpoint. My DD saved me from binge drinking and giving up alcohol in my mid 40s has led to 7 years of much better self esteem and mental health for me. Am grateful every day that I don’t have hangover paranoia or take stupid risks anymore. I don’t regret my raving days in my 20s though as I had some wonderful experiences and needed the freedom back then. But I do agree, a change in lifestyle can be a welcome relief at some point as you get older.

Oh my god, couldn’t think of anything worse now! Being in a sweaty rave, gurning my tits off, chatting absolute waffle to anyone that will listen 🤣🤣

This is so, so hurtful to those of us who can't have children.

I loved my boozing, pill popping, raving, wildchild 20s and 30s, I look back on them fondly. I had some amazing nights, dancing to some amazing DJs before they were huge megastars. The Friday nights, that turned into Saturday nights that turned into Sunday's. Planning what you'd wear on Friday on Monday, having a come down that would clear just in time to do it all over again. The friends that became family. I don't regret a moment of it. I'm surprised I held down a job and did a degree sometimes mind you 😅.

I stopped the hedonism a long time ago but still go out occasionally, off to see Tiesto in July. I will be sober but am very much looking forward to dancing my socks off to my favourite dj and being home and in bed by 11pm(ish).

I don't have kids but I also don't feel like a floating nobody without purpose.

You're being very extreme. I used to be a bit wild in my teens and twenties but dont feel it was in any way a 'trap' - it was a decision i made by myself, i had an amazing time and so many funny stories now as a result!

I also have kids now so dont go out often but can quite happily go out occasionally with friends for drinks and chat and drink for hours and have a great time!

I dont know who you think trapped you? You obviously loved it at the time!

Most people live their lives in moderation op seems like one of those characters that lurches from one extreme to the other. Might be worth self reflecting on that op - believe me the little children stage is just a stage not a whole life.

There are some very odd views of life on this thread!

WTF - what do you mean about it being ‘acceptable in society certain levels to get drunk and do silly things’. Are people who work in offices less than other people ? Some kind of underclass? Or are you saying it’s a good thing she’s still able to have a good time? Because she’s an office worker ?
WTAF??

Respectfully, shouldn’t you try to work on that? It’s not good for you for your entire life to be your children, and it’s certainly not good for them. Their job is to grow up and make their own way, and it’s yours to facilitate that and let them fly.

Well, caffeine is a stimulant, speed is a stimulant, Ritalin is a stimulant. Sometimes stimulants are legal, sometimes they’re illegal; sometimes they’re a controlled substance, sometimes they’re freely available on supermarket shelves. I’m not being deliberately obtuse, I’m just pointing out that people are very black and white (and judgemental) about ‘taking drugs’ without considering that the vast majority of us self-medicate to a greater or lesser extent (usually but not exclusively on the ‘right’ side of the law).

Oh please….

Do you mean you would take speed to speed up the housework time?!

You dont understand the difference between illegal drugs and a coffee?

I have ADHD but luckily my body prefers the outlet not of drink and drugs, but of complicated dance routines to Taylor Swift which gives me that euphoria 🤣🤣🥰

I honestly had the best time partying, sometimes I hear Avicii or similar early-mid 00s tunes and I remember the joy of dancing with my friends letting the music move you. I never went "too hard" so could always get myself a cab safely. Going to people's flats and discussing life/politics til the early hours, it was such fun

I dont do that now as now im nearly 40 my body has the WORST hangovers and I cant cope with doing swimming lesson shenanigans with a hangover 🤣🤣🤣

My gran had a similar time in her jitterbugging days and would reminisce about fun nights until she died in her 80s.

Not having kids does enable you to maintain the party lifestyle a bit longer, but tbh, it gets boring eventually and takes from you more than it gives.

I have no envy for people still rinsing in their 50s. It just looks like hard work!

Sure. But the OP has put this across as a blanket situation, and that’s not the case. There may well be a subset of people with addiction issues, mental health issues or neurodiversity, where the only two options are go out and take drugs and drink to excess, or sit at home, but it’s not right to apply this as standard to the population as a whole.

If it’s based on an addictive nature, then it’s swapping drugs/alcohol for children and while physically more healthy, mentally it’s no better. Same for mental health issues, if it’s centred around plugging emotional and social holes with children, then it’s really just temporarily plugging of holes and not addressing root causes, which is not great. If it’s neurodiversity, then great, crack on, but don’t put this as a blanket situation across the whole population.

Sorry, wasn’t being snarky, I’ve just never understood the ‘would never do drugs’ line, everyone self-medicates to one extent or other, even if it’s caffeine! And yes to ‘mother’s little helper’.

The key word being "currently"

Exactly, housewives speed.

And let’s not forget “mothers’ little helper” in the 60s.

so it is. And don’t many mums still do wine o’clock? The most I have is a gin and tonic at home occasionally. And drink when out with friends most often wine bars with cheese boards. But yeah sometimes I love a good night out going wild so judge me. And some of my mum friends love/ loved that too.

Second. Agree.

Back in the olden days cocaine was prescribed in medication or “otc drugs” and ecstasy was a medication for depression wasn’t it? And opium has always been around eg in China.