AIBU to use inheritance to go part time and avoid burnout?

Did you miss the fact that the OP has asked for other people's opinions? That she wants advice from adults, not just affirmation?

Personally, I don't think it's lovely and supportive to just say yeah, go ahead and fritter away the inheritance on whatever you like without at least highlighting that the OP might live to regret this later.

If there are specific circumstances which mean that the OP needs to spend the money on reducing her hours right now, then that's entirely her prerogative and of course she should do so, but she hasn't mentioned any such circumstances and so there is nothing wrong with advising her to exercise caution and think carefully about whether this would actually be the best use of the money.

It's very easy to spend other people's money, of course, because you don't have to live with the long term consequences. However, I don't believe that those who think they are being kind by telling the OP to go ahead and spend like there's no tomorrow are necessarily doing her any favours.

But you could be kinder...

Aww isn't mumsnet just so lovely and supportive to people who dare to admit they are struggling and don't cope with life the same way as others😘

@EmeraldRoulette I’m curious if when you were suffering from depression people also gave you the same tough love approach that you are fond of dishing out now?

@Thisle but if I sat down and focused on the state of humanity, I would've been weeping all day since I was about eight. adults would talk about what was happening to women in Iran and I used to wonder why we didn't use the UN to go in and rescue them. Like maybe an invasion…

There does come a point where you have to take some responsibility and step away from all the knowledge that is out there in order to get on with your life.

If the people responsible for our food supply are too upset to do any work, what happens then? Or the surgeon and her team who are fixing a broken ankle today?

and actually, the doctor and the nurse and the carer who lose a patient do wipe away their tears and see the next one.

All this focus on the troubles of the entire world is not doing anybody any good.

I might be finding it doubly surreal because having spent decades with depression and anxiety, I'm now marginally better, and apparently everyone else is falling down the hole! And if you know the classic story of the man in the hole, many want to ignore the advice of people who've been in the hole and got out!

alright, that's enough MN for me today.

@EmeraldRoulette I mean it's not that simple, is it? I have reduced my news exposure to minutes a day but it's still not possible (or desirable) to turn off caring about people out there losing their children to war or the destruction of the planet all our children will need to live on when we're dead. We're social animals. Of course these things are stressful.

Ugh people are being horrid on here. OP you should definitely do that in my opinion, until your course is done. Not everyone is the same and we struggle with different things. There's no prizes in life for going at it the hardest, you need to do what works for you. The "oooh, if you struggle now what will you do with kids" brigade - yawn. I struggled much harder doing everything alone in my 20s with poor mental health than I have ever struggled since I had kids.

@BrieAndChilli "There is so much stress, the world seems heavier and money does not stretch as far"

i'm afraid that's an even bigger reason why it's important to make the most of your earning power while you are young and healthy. That money is going to be needed just to pay the food bills.

But honestly, I'm really alarmed at how much stress people seem to absorb from news

And again, I say this as somebody who has decades of personal experience with poor mental health. And that impacts on your physical health.

I'm really glad I didn't have my experience in a time where the narrative was so awful. It seems insane to say that I was better off hiding it, and being frightened that my professional colleagues would find out.

But I was better off!

mind you, the responses on this thread, and another one recently, have been quite heartening for me - perhaps some kind of balance is coming back. Especially with the amount of crazy you get on here.

Whilst I agree with most of the people saying that at 27 you should be able to manage a full time job, some studying (most students at uni are also working almost full time and lectures arenor structured to ensure there are free days for students to work) and normal living (whether you rent or have a mortgage, running a house is basically the same bar a couple of adhoc things like replacing a boiler if it breaks which is hopefully once every 10 years!)

BUT the world is different than it was 20/30 years ago when we were young. There is so much stress, the world seems heavier and money does not stretch as far. I have loads more money than in my 20's yet it feels like I am much poorer (although 3 teenagers solves some of that mystery) but I was earning 10k in my first 'proper' office job in the 2000's - that wouldnt even pay rent nowadays. I think everyone is much more depressed and stressed than they were in the past. We are constantly bombarded with awful news from around the world that affects us yet we cannot do much about, social media glamour which whips up feelings of inadequacy because we are not all living in mansions and going on 10 holidays a year in designer clothes.

The money would be better served paying off your mortgage

Im 52. Very happily married.

Have a lovely social life

One teenager at home, doesn't cause my any worries and my daughter has her own home

Why would I be jealous

Op hasn't said what she does, how many hours she works or what her studying involves

I couldn't be less jealous if I tried

Ignore all the martyrs on this thread OP. If that’s how you want to use the money, use it.

I agree with this.

We have those - they are called annual leave days 😂

Apparently some new graduates are asking for regular "mental health days" in their job interviews. It's a trend - the view that full time working is more than an ordinary person in their twenties can be expected to handle.

Hello @justasking111

I'm curious, is it a big home?

I had a little flat in my late 20s

I worked full time and studied for two years via night classes and weekends

It was a really tough time but I agree that's the time that you can do it

It's obviously your decision @redshirts
But I'm curious to know what really needs doing in terms of running the house

Even if you have a nice big house, unless you've taken on a bunch of renovations, I can't really see what needs doing

Obviously, it's your choice, but I think your 20s are the time to get as much money in as possible

something about the tone of your post suggested to me that you're worried about burnout as something that you've heard about happening rather than you feel like you're on the edge of it

With the amount of negativity there is around health these days, I can't help wondering if you absorb some kind of message about that

I say this as a person who was in treatment for anxiety and depression for decades - got my first antidepressant prescription age 20 - and even I'm concerned that the prevailing narrative of constant negativity is creating fears where there's no need to be fearful.

Unless you have some kind of back up income, something like a trust fund so something really reliable - at 27, prioritising earning and saving is incredibly important. Obviously there are some home maintenance jobs that need doing and I find them quite stressful. But I can't help wondering how many of them you have. Especially as other posters have also said that the home stuff is really stressful.

If you've just bought a standard home, then I don't understand what you mean by "everything that comes with home ownership". You should be able to get by with spending a couple of hours a week on housework. Put the bills on direct debit. Sorted.

I appreciate it’s full on but this is the youngest and fittest you’ll be and a great time to build up savings. I’m now in my 40s and so glad I built up savings when I could. Once you have children you may still have to work but with all their needs thrown in, clubs, what they need etc.

Also, you might not care about your career prospects in current job if you’re retraining to do a new one - can you share your current work and new work so more specific advice can be given for those industries,

I think the best thing would be to buy extra annual leave to take one day a week only if this would actually reduce your workload. If not then buying in convenience is the key.

Op you could also stick the 35k in premium bonds (there is a Mumsnet thread about them) and you might become a millionaire and quit that job entirely 😊

Of her being young and no husband and children to do chores after!
working full time can mean 35 or 60
hours, and it can be sending emails or back to back teams calls and then do the actual work in the evenings. She may have a big commute too. And to shame her for not being able to do a degree or other professional course at the same time is cruel. And just because she ‘could’ do it (if she had no rest of social life) why should she work all hours god sends if she has a cushion not to?

I wouldn’t. I’d invest 20k and put 10k in a SIPP. Your future self will thank you.

How old were you when you went back to uni?

Also nowhere in the post does the OP say anything about it being a uni course.