AIBU to use inheritance to go part time and avoid burnout?

I’m sorry to hear you still suffer from it. I suffer from it myself and it’s a tricky one to handle.

It is really interesting to read some of these replies

Because when I was working full-time and studying, and had been lucky enough to buy a little flat, I can't imagine anyone would've sympathised if I said it was too much

and it was my choice.

@redshirts it's absolutely your choice to do what you want with your money

But just to reiterate what I said originally... is burn out something you are actually prone to ? Or is it just something you're worried about because you hear a lot of it? As I say, the amount of negative talk around even concerns me - if you knew what a raging pessimist I am, that would give you some context!

I went to Vegas on my 40th birthday because I was amazed I was still alive! And I was happy which was awesome! And well worth celebrating.

So if you are fit and well and mentally well and you can invest that money somewhere else, personally that's what I would do - you've asked for advice so that's mine

I hope things work out for you, whatever you do.

I wouldn’t in all honesty but would look at whether you can negotiate some study leave or look at compressing hours to a 9 day fortnight to give you a bit of a break. I worry that you’d effectively fritter the inheritance by going part time at this point rather than maximising it to help your future self.

Studying on top of work is challenging. The house maintenance shouldn’t be so I’d look at how to reduce down any mental load from that.

I still do suffer with depression and anxiety

I just don't take medication any more, largely because it didn't stop me having two nervous breakdowns and I have a lot of issues dealing with the doctor

It's a lot better now than it was, but some of that is circumstances and frankly being older means I'm closer to death! Which is a plus. I no longer have to think about suicide every day.

I didn't tell anyone about my situation unless I really had to, it was 100% something to be ashamed of. So I don't really know what people would have said to me with the context. But I was often told to toughen up yes. I really wish I had because I would probably be in a much better financial position now. I'm not in a bad one, but I could always do with more. Got a very large dental Bills coming up too.

I don't see what I said as being tough love and I'm probably of the age where it was just a normal thing to say. It wouldn't have caused offence to anyone. Being told to pull myself together was certainly a feature of childhood. Probably did me a lot of good?

I actually do mean it kindly. It's not a good thing to have 24/7 access to this kind of information.

people do need to protect themselves. Anyone who is selling social media and technology isn't really doing you any good.

Hi OP,

I'm not sure why you're taking such a bashing. Personally, I am (almost perpetually) single and bought my flat at 26, outside the UK and away from practical family support. Frankly, at times it is overwhelming to be solely responsible for everything. Well done for getting yourself on the property ladder and for handling everything so well so far.

I got taken by surprise a number of times by the responsibilities and costs of home ownership, and while I'd not swap my independence and eventual stability for anything, there were times where it was just bloody exhausting. My single friends and I say that something has to give, no full-time employed adult can have all of the following at the same time: a full fridge, a clean flat, an empty laundry basket. Plus you're studying, which takes extra time and focus.

Ignore PP saying "I had kids at your age", your feelings are valid, and well done for recognising them and trying to to take steps to avoid some sort of collapse/crisis/whatever burnout looks like for you.

You don't say what you work in and if going part time would have any consequences on your current position of chances of progression. However, I am inclined to side with some of the wiser PP: yours 20s and 30s are the time to really establish yourself professionally, and 35k is quite the nest egg to rebuild.

Unless you are truly wiped out by the job and simultaneous study, I think the suggestions of augmenting your budget for support are a good idea. You should figure out what is causing you the most stress or seems the most unnecessary use of your time, and use some of the money to shove it off your plate (cleaning, food delivery services or meal prep, washing/ironing, house maintenance).

As someone who hates food shopping and meal prep, I regularly use services like Hello Fresh. Recently, on a task rabbit type site, I have been surprised to discover how many people are willing to prepare home cooked food for a reasonable price.

Lastly, think about scheduling some proper downtime. When overwhelmed, we forget to rest and it just feeds the cycle. Try to set aside some real recovery time for yourself (digital detox day, solo sport, a spa treatment, take yourself for a long lunch).

It is ok to struggle, you probably have a better handle on things than you realise, and you will find solutions. Good luck!

I’m sorry op, but take a weeks leave and get back into it is the better plan. 27 is the perfect age for just digging in on the career and paying off house/investing for the future, you don’t regret that when you’re juggling children and work in 10 years, and you look back and think wow I had so much time. I am another one who can’t see what family support anyone would expect in your situation. I was working madly, renovating and studying at 27, the home ownership made our family home purchase down the track possible.

It’s your money to do what you want with but honestly I think it’s a bit of a waste.

I was working FT, studying in the evening and a single parent.
It was hard but I got through it.

Surely you can just use your evenings and weekends to study as you don’t have anything else that you need to do.

Is your training course term time only?
When did you start it?

I would definitely give it a few months as some course have periods of intensity and then cool off.

Its your money and you should not feel guilty for doing what you want but if it was me, I’d rather use that money for a couple of holidays and to keep some savings if I need to do home repairs or new car etc.

No. I wouldn’t. I don’t think that’s a particularly good use of a lump sum inheritance unless you have specific health issues you haven’t mentioned. It’s only for a year.

How much is your retraining in terms of hours and time ? Over how long a period.
Would you be able to up your hours to full time again.
I did part time once and wished I had not. It has affected my state pension contributions. I was also doing a full time job in part time hours ! So think very carefully.
If you can avoid it do.
The house shouldn’t take up too much of your time ? Or are you in a doer upper.
There is a lot of information missing OP. To be able to give advice you need to expand on detail a bit.

Honestly this is a properly boasty arrogant post. Well done you but you have no idea of this posters life before now amd how privileged your own was if you were going on about buying your first horse.

I was thrown out by miserable parents who just didnt want to bother supporting their kids. I am a successful person, grafted and did very well for myself but my start was so much harder than yours with a lot of family stress to cope with and no help. Maybe the OP had a lot on her plate before this too.

Are you prone to burnout, op (adhd/ autism)?

Ultimately it's your money so you get to decide how to use it. I'd be inclined if I'd had bouts of burnout, yes.

I do agree with what you’re saying. But personally my mental health and health was worse in my 20s - terrible in fact and had I not prioritised that then, I wouldn’t be here now.

I am sure people will think that, in your 40s with no children, you should still be working full time too. (This is absolutely not a criticism from me as I’m in my 40s with no kids and can’t wait to cut down to part time.). But it’s all relative, a 70 year old might have the same comparisons to you, than you have to the OP in her 20s.

We get one life and have to live with our decisions.

All the people who are saying you should be able to juggle everything - sod that! If you can afford to do it, do it. Why does everyone think everyone else should be pushing themselves to breaking point, when they have another option? OP is retraining which is including a course. This is SO HARD to do alongside working full time! The course will assumingly lead to a career change which will be positive when it comes to future income, so if a short term loss of income (replaced by the inheritance) makes this easier, then it's a fantastic investment into her future!

Saying god help her when she has kids is just not helpful in the slightest.

Invest the inheritance. You never know what’s around the corner and you’ll kick yourself further down the line if you ever really need it.

How many hours is the course supposed to take per week?

I think it's reasonable to drop a day to make sure you're making the most of it otherwise you risk the investment in the course being a bit wasted. But if it's less than say 6 hours, I would definitely be trying to fit that in evenings and weekends, unless the role you're doing now completely dominates (IE teaching) and that's part of the desire to retrain.

OP, I’ll give you an objective view because I think that some of the responses here are from people in very different situations from you and there’s a begrudging element from some.

I’m 43, no kids (I’m making an assumption that you don’t either, based on your post), and I now work part time (four days a week) following a significant inheritance (and decent income but it was inheritance that tipped the scales). Apart from mortgage-free home, I have other assets, investments, maximized pension etc.
I’m married.

In your shoes would I go part time?

Honestly, no. And for a few reasons.

£35k isn’t a life changing sum of money so please don’t change your life on the back of it. It’s a fantastic nest egg for savings, to bulk up your pension, or to reduce your mortgage. You really need to invest it because spending money to reduce your income isn’t a financially wise decision.

Additionally, at your age, you’re about to enter into peak earning optimisation territory. Obviously depends on the person, industry etc, but most people see the biggest advances in terms of their market value career-wise in their 30s and 40s. I wouldn’t do anything that reduces that window.

Lastly, and I don’t mean this in a snide way, but 27 is very young. If you’re feeling pressure now from work and home ownership, I hate to tell you but that pressure is likely to increase in years to come as you deal with an ageing house, ageing body, and more stress as life progresses. If you’re feeling very burnt out at 27, you might have to acknowledge that you may not be able to work long-term and may not have as many years to service a pension and investment as others. Therefore, your £35k may be best used now to help an older, more tired version of you in 20 years’ time.

Unfortunately you cannot dictate how other people respond to a post.

Thank god.

I would ask them not to take DD out in that car again.

Things happen, like the belt being defective, kids taking belts off, etc but these things need rectifying as best as possible immediately.

It was a poor judgement call that you need to point out….if it happens again, that’s when I’d say no more.

Giving an opinion is fine, but it’s the implication that she should be able to manage without cutting down her hours which isn’t particularly helpful just because others did the same whilst raising 10 kids/working 60 hours etc etc.

The OP is clearly considering it for a reason and I don’t think the suggestion of reducing a day at work is that outlandish.

Agree, i lived in on my own in a flat (with mortgage) at 25, working full time studying on evening weekends. Only person i had to think about was me, not a lot fun studying & working but cracked on and got it done.

35k invested with average UK stock market returns will likely be 200k in 25 years eg 8-10k a year of pension.

35k invested in a global index tracker will likely be 421k in 25 years eg 16-20k a year.

I would put up with the slog and invested it 50/50 UK and global index trackers in a pension.

I am assuming when you say "next June" you mean June 27 and not this year?

Asking your employer to go part time to study to do something entirely different in life will send a signal that you are not serious about your job with them. You will potentially find yourself sidelined and first in line for redundancy. I wouldn't risk it in the current market.

That's a lovely financial safety net which as you say will allow you to cover your course fees without more debt, you could also buy more holiday from work if they run such a scheme which will slightly lower your income but is tax efficient and it would give you study/exam prep days you could use around deadlines?

You don't say what you are retraining for but a nest egg may come in extremely useful if you wanted to start your own business or find you need to do further qualifications to be really employable at a salary that matches your current.

So to echo others, you are 27 and some stress in life is normal. Find a balance so you are looking after your health but I'd get your head down for a year and make it work.

I could be a lot of things, slimmer, fitter etc

There are ways of telling people that and giving them advice aren't there, especially to someone who has said they are struggling. Fair enough advising that it's not the best idea if that's their opinion, but saying things like "god help us if someone is burnt out at 27" and "well I'd hate to see how you cope with kids if you can't even cope now" isn't exactly helpful is it. It's just mean

Do it OP. Ignore other people saying that they wouldn’t feel burn out with what you have on your plate - it’s not their plate, and they don’t have to carry it. Money is there to help us through life, use it however you want.