Ditzy women

OP this post is awful! I had never been a "ditzy woman" until the trauma of 3 pregnancy losses, infertility, anxiety, depression and other griefs finally caught up with me!

I could barely think about what to do next never mind do a quick food shop or remember all the things on my to do list.

Instead of being judged and chastised, my husband picked up the slack at home and my lovely colleagues helped me out at work for a while!

You need to look at yourself before commenting on others.

It's usually women blocking the aisles because it's usually women doing the shopping.

Men as usual do very little of the mindless shit like this so you won't find that many in the supermarket (unless buying their own personal protein shit for the gym).

I also have a corporate fast paced job. Go the gym, and have wine with friends. Perhaps we’re colleagues?

I knew you were my irritating type as soon as I read your OP with your internalised misogyny re: “ditzy women”.

This whistling
It makes my ears bleed

Its a shame about that really. Because I think when women writers started to do it it was well meaning, the creation of flawed relatable heroines as an antidote to the idea women have to be perfect all the time to be acceptable. I think we were supposed to think its OK if we mess up. However like everything in the wrong hands it becomes a stick to beat us with, and rather than the message being amazing women can mess up, the messing up becomes the defining characteristic of women.

Yes dear. Of course you are. 🙄

And before someone pipes up that they manage to "share the load" and both are equal in their partnership WELL BLOODY DONE. Most of us are not superhuman and could do a good job very well OR struggle to do the boring shit. We are absolutely not capable of doing both so shhh.

Yeah that’s all very well but maybe Derek was an arrogant arse who didn’t let her “interfere” with money matters. It does happen more than you might think.

These women do exist though. I work with someone who can’t understand that women can be physically strong and giggles saying ‘oh I need a strong man to move this’. I also regularly walk past a car with the sticker ‘hot girls hit curbs’ which annoys me more than it should for the sentiment that women can’t drive.

Interestingly, the men who struggle to make the tiny decisions tend to be in big jobs. Their wives would often also excel in those jobs but on account of one of the pair needing to do the humdrum tasks, they end up losing their minds trying to pack for a family of 6 for holidays, buy the right amount of vegetables for nightly dinners and park a too-big car in a too-small space in order to embark on duller than ditchwater tasks.
Guess who gets the praise and guess who gets the criticism? That's right!
Extra points if you can guess if this poster is in that exact partnership 😐😵‍💫🫠😉

I'm a ditsy woman! Actually very high achieving, straight A student, hold a senior 6-figure earning job. I've always just been pretty lost in thought most of the time and don't pay attention to my surroundings... My Dad is actually very similar, so it's definitely not a women only trait

Vaguely related to this is my learning (yesterday. thanks to "Unspeakable" on R4) that "adulting" was a term first used in 1909. And it meant the same then.

Which suggests plus ca change ....

In my experience ditsy women rely on their DH to do everything to do with finances.
Typical convo:
"My Derek used to do the banking and pay the bills".
"Where's Derek now?"
"He died. I've never had to do this"

I genuinely don't know anyone like this. I've never known a woman who pretends not to know how a washing machine works or stands in the aisle in Asda sweating over which brand of washing powder is normally bought because the list doesn't specify. I do know women who are busy and forget things and women who are making decisions all day long and end up with decision fatigue.

I do agree with pp about vacuous people though. Or more honestly vacuous conversations - are there actually people who aren't any deeper than that? I always think some people surely must have hidden depths.

I’m incompetent but I don’t giggle. Is that ok?

In my office it's the men that are late ....and then said meeting runs over. Talk about chasing their tails.🙄

Oh I can definitely see the OP to be the type to not wear makeup, drink pints and be “one of the lads”.

This just sounds like sexism.

If by ditsy you mean sort of oblivious/hapless/ not engaging brain then there are just as many like this as there are women. It's just that men tend not to be called ditsy (maybe dappy?)

I'm WFH today and went for a bike ride along the Thames path at lunchtime. Shared path (pedestrian/cyclists/ scooters/dogs/folk lugging canoes!) But the amount of oblivious people astounds me, I'm sure it's been worse since the covid lockdowns.

People walking slowly, four abreast taking up/blocking the whole path. Or worse still just stopping and having a conversation in a big group ON the path, rather than standing on the grass to one side. Lone walkers yammering on phone while meandering in zig zags. People with no control over their dogs. I slow right down and call out excuse me politely or ring my bell and they look astonished and affronted. Meanwhile the ducks and geese are much more observant and waddle out of the way in plenty of time!

meandering taking ages to decide in front of a supermarket fridge

My mum used to drive me crazy with this, blocking a fridge while other people are trying to get what they need! She'd also spend ages after paying at a checkout, putting her change in her purse, then put her purse in her bag, then put her bag on her shoulder before she would move an inch.. completely oblivious to the big queue of people behind waiting for her to move.. I stopped going shopping with her in the end!

I think some people just have no real consideration for other people's time, other people's access (standing/parking/driving/blocking junctions etc), not maliciously I don't think, they just have zero awareness of how they and what they are doing impact others, self centered basically.

As a considerate person, I hate it! Men are just as bad but usually in different ways.. they stand in the middle of the shops, obviously waiting for their wives/girlfriends, but not actually shopping themselves.. SO MOVE TO THE FUCKING SIDE!!

You would likely class me as ditzy. I have inattentive adhd so spend my life meandering. But the inattentiveness comes from my brain being very busy thinking of a million things at once. As a child my iq was tested up as top 2% of my age group and I was put into a special programme in my home country to a shorter high school programme and enter uni at 15.

I know I come across as ditzy - I have poor exec functions so can get confused with dates and times. I also like to be supercareful when parking to ensure I don't get distracted and miss something. I'm terrible at making decisions as my brain flicks through all possibilities. I'm great at solving puzzles or problems though for the same reason.

I do sometimes think people who don't know me well must think I am ditzy. Thankfully, it doesn't get to me because I know my IQ is likely higher then their's. But I do feel for the inattentive adhd kids coming through UK system - they are likely smarter than what the world gives them credit for.

Agree with this! I remember a journalist tweeting "Eeek I've got my first commission with [well known newspaper]" and I thought no man would ever say eeek in that context. Huw Edwards of all people replied with a nasty tweet but he had a point.

I'll get flamed too (and I'm definitely a woman) but I do find that it's almost always women in supermarkets blocking the aisle or shelves, or letting their kids run bloody riot whilst yacking mindlessly on their phones. It's as if they've been sucked into a different dimension where the rules of time, space, manners, dignity and other human beings don't exist. And no, they aren't all taking urgent calls about their grandmother's sudden demise or that Trump has nuked Iran.