Overspending please help

Is the holiday home earning income? What are "general living expenses"? If you rent put the holiday home, go through an agent and make sure they're strict with tenants and that there's a decent bond on the place with regular property inspections. I wouldnt get rid of the cleaner..your life looks busy and with health problems so you probably need that service to keep everything running. Meal planning, packed lunches and avoiding takeout and impulse spending is my top tip. Taking pleasure in planning. Saving even a small amount and watching it grow.

Lots of luck OP, there are definitely places where you can cut back etc.

As others have mentioned, I think you might be missing some categories from your budget - check Money Saving Expert, I think they have a detailed list.

In the kindest without are justifying every overspend.

Do your own cleaning and use nhs

It was like wrestling with Satan ending my contract with Three but I held firm and like you I would never go back. People can't believe how little I spend

So a sensible person would have a fully funded emergency fund in easy access savings that factored in the cost of their absolutely non-essential self employed home maintenance crew, because we wouldn't want our misfortune at loosing our job to have a knock on effect on other people?

Is a lovely thought, but not very 'real world'

OP, I’m guessing that with the price of your phone contracts you also have expensive handsets? In general do you tend to buy branded items rather than more basic ones? It might well be that you can find savings there. It might sound obvious to anyone who’s used to buying mon-brand things, but I think sometimes you can get yourself into a mindset that “only brands will do”. My DH was like this when we first got married - he would only buy branded things, like cereal etc, because he subconsciously believed that the supermarket own brand stuff wasn’t as good- it was only when I bought some and he tried it that he realised it was fine.

So in addition to changing from Waitrose to Tesco/Lidl, look at what you’re actually buying, and whether there’s a cheaper option - for example, Kellogg’s cereal will always be expensive, but for most things Tesco own brand is just as good. Supermarket clothes are fine (if DS is hung up on labels then suggest he mixes and matches with say cheaper jeans and a branded top, and he has to buy the branded stuff himself).

I’d definitely get the house in France generating income, and cancel the cleaner at least while you’re out of work - you’ll have time on your hands to do it yourself. Keep your phone handset once your contract ends, if you can, or get refurbished ones from somewhere like BackMarket - I’ve used them for tech stuff a few times and always had a great experience.

Getting DS on board is important too - you can tell him that you’ve enough money to live on (so he doesn’t worry), but that there’s not going to be much for luxuries for a while; help him to think about what he can do to help - maybe there’s an activity that he’s been thinking of quitting which would save you some cash, or he’ll think about getting a job (or doing some odd jobs) to bring in some money. Maybe he could even learn some basic decorating skills so that he can help out with that. It might make him feel good to feel that he’s contributing and the two of you are pulling together.

Correct. My point being that a tenant could take the house in France for 90 days, come to the OP's place in the UK for 90, and return to France for 90. At that point they'd max out their Schengen visa but conceivably the OP could generate 9 months rent.

Unlikely I grant you especially as the school holidays aren't 3 months long and the French house is not ready for tenants but just trying to illustrate that there is a market for longer term tenants at the moment.

The obvious short term answer is the cleaner has to go, and therapy and food cut back so the OP is living within her means while she looks for a new job. Heading into the summer season employment becomes trickier and bl**dy Trump isn't doing much for the economy so the OP needs to plan for a longer period.

If the French house is habitable at all, it's also an option to rent the UK house and decamp as soon as GCSE's are done but not all homes are easily Airbnb'd and that also comes with other risks of damage etc.

Phone cost is insane. I only pay £5 pm for my package and have a a refurbished phone.

"What is interesting is that if American's leave the Schengen area [which UK is not part of] for 90 days, then can go back for another 90 before having to leave fully."

Americans are subject to identical conditions as all other 'third country' citizens, including British citizens. The rolling 90 days applies to them in the same way as it applies to us.

Food bill will definitely reduce if you move away from Waitrose. Hubs and I allocate £500 a month for food. I shop at Lidl and we always have money left in the account at the end of the month even this month where we had a couple of takeaways and fuelled the car as we’d done lots of joint outings.

Your cleaner is v expensive. You're living beyond your means

Pause the cleaner for the time being and use that money to pay off the loan quicker

🤣 at keeping the cleaner because they need the money. Very reductive, apart from anything else, to assume that they are only cleaning because they’re desperate for the money.

However, first and foremost, OP needs the bloody money too!

If you're being made redundant soon, will you get a payout?

Is there any chance you and DS can go over this May and early summer and do the work yourselves to get it ready to rent out from late summer onwards?

I have a holiday home in France. The issue wouldn't be selling it at a loss or trying to make a profit. I reckon it would take 6 months to even find someone to gift it to. The market is extremely slow and property isn't worth much.

If you value the cleaner than keep that. But you could shave plenty off the food budget. Sort the phone situation out once the contract expires. Other general expenses could be cut back. The other medical seems like you could cut back in that. Renting out the holiday home do it covers it’s expenses is also a no-brainer.

Someone earning a good wage should have the foresight to understand the importance of savings.

I’d go for a longer-term let of the holiday home if possible - that way you don’t have to worry about cleaning it in between guests etc, which is presumably difficult to keep an eye on from another country. It means you can’t use it for a few years, but it doesn’t sound as though you’re going much anyway?

DS will have to understand that you’ve changed jobs and finances are tighter, so he’ll need to help out more around the house; that way you can reduce the spend on the cleaner.

Do you have a new job lined up? Or will you be out of work for a while?

Well done OP, the more you can cut down, and take control of your budget, the better you will begin to feel. It will hopefully make you feel calmer and more positive too. It's often the little things that we change which make the biggest difference to our well being, wishing you peace and love

I’m slightly different in that I wouldn’t get rid of the cleaner completely as I would rather my money went into a small business/sole trader but would reduce the hours because she/he must be there pretty frequently to cost over £200.
Self employed cleaners in my area charge out between £15-£20ph, perhaps you could ask that they concentrate on kitchen/bathrooms.
As others have said your food bill is astronomical for 2 people a month, and if the general living expenses are for things like clothes, eating out etc then I would cut that right back.
Your sons allowance is pretty generous, even if he had a hair cut every 4 weeks I’d be surprised if it cost more than £22, he doesn’t need to buy clothes every month and tbh he’s of the age that a Saturday job would probably be a good idea.
My eldest is slightly younger but he doesn’t get a set allowance from me. I pay his phone £10 a month, transport if he’s going out with his mates which is probably around £4 per week, although he cycles a lot as it’s quicker. He works every Saturday morning as a shop assistant and uses that money to fund his spends.
I buy his school shoes/uniform toiletries and then he gets clothes as he needs them, I usually tie it in with birthdays/Christmas.
I have 3 children, there is no way I’d be handing over £300 a month even if I could afford to.