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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for staying in my car when an angry driver confronted me?

107 replies

OverthinkerExtrodinaire · 07/04/2026 23:17

If you were sat in your car in a carpark after finishing your shopping and looked up to see an angry man who was the owner of the car parked directly in front, pink in the face, shouting "your car is touching my car" and asking you to get out of the car. What would you do?

My first reaction was fear.

I knew I hadn't bumped his car because I know I parked up very carefully and I would have noticed if I had touched another car.

When I got back, I was then sat in the car for a minute or two replying to a text, with the car switched off, handbrake on, so it certainly didn't ever veer in to this man's car afterwards either.

I didn't feel there was any reason to get out as I knew there was absolutely no damage or any contact with his car but I recognise this would have been the polite thing to do. At worst, my car must have been very close to his. Which isn't an issue in this kind of carpark as we will both be backing out of our spaces.

The main reason I didn't get out though was because I felt scared. I was on my own and this man looked and sounded angry!

I shouted from inside the car that my car was NOT touching his, and I left. I felt a bit shaky afterwards.

I then wake up to a public post on Facebook group from this man's wife saying "to the lady who bumped into my husband's car in your BRAND NEW car and then weren't kind enough to check for any damage...then drove off swearing at us bla bla blah..." (I said "oh sod off" or something like that, to myself, under my breath, as I drove off...my windows were up... He was obviously good at lipreading....oops! It was very very mild swearing. The sort of thing I'd say if the kids were in the car even. I'm not proud of this but I was just worked up.

Also my car is nowhere near brand new. I feel like that was added for dramatic effect?

I'm not sure why this guy got his wife to post this. There was no damage to his car because no such impact took place. There was not even a speck of damage on my car either BECAUSE IT NEVER TOUCHED HIS!!

Its made me think though... Should I have got out? The only things that stopped me were mainly fear and feeling threatened by this man as a lone woman...and knowing for a fact that my car had not bumped in to his.

Now I'm thinking I handled this badly. And there is now a public post accusing me of bumping into someone's car and making it sound like I left shouting expletives.

I feel so ashamed and upset by it because I'm generally quite a gentle shy person and would never dream of driving off if I had damaged anything..

So AIBU for not leaving the car to check for damage when I feel threatened by a man? Especially in the context of knowing there will be no damage.

OP posts:
BruFord · 07/04/2026 23:47

IMO, your safety is the most important factor. A shouting, angry man is a threat and I wouldn’t advise anyone to get out of their car in that situation. He could’ve been physically aggressive.

If he’d approached you calmly, that’s different, you’d have felt safe getting out of your car to check for any damage.

I’m not on Facebook but if it’s possible to comment on their post anonymously, I’d be tempted to comment on his behavior and how frightened you were by him.

Trusttheawesome · 07/04/2026 23:43

I don’t tend to think that random men are going to punch me or something though, so I’d have just got out and had a look. If he escalated, I’d have gone back into the shop for help.
But this is mumsnet and there was a thread on here the other week about a man walking past a woman and opening his rucksack further down the path… and she had to come on here and say how image she felt and wondered what he was planning to do to her. Everyone piled on that he must have been very dangerous and her survival instinct saved her. So this is a mad place and everyone will tell you that you did the right thing.

forthispostonly · 07/04/2026 23:43

I'd be tempted to ask a friend to reply along the lines of
"Was your husband the man shouting at a lone woman in xx carpark to get out of her car? Even though her car wasn't actually touching yours? Would you get out of your car if you were alone and a man was shouting at you when you knew you had done nothing wrong? I know I'd be saying stronger than sod off if I felt that threatened. In fact I'd be contacting the police if a random stranger shouted at me."
Edited typo

Trusttheawesome · 07/04/2026 23:41

Had you gone over your line at the end of your space? I’m confused about how you managed to get so close. I’d have got out to look. The fact is, you didn’t check so you don’t know if your car was touching his or not. You very well could have stopped just had your car touched his so you didn’t feel an impact. It wouldn’t have left damage, but as you didn’t get out to look and check at the time, then he can claim there was.

Original poster
OverthinkerExtrodinaire · 07/04/2026 23:33

Yes that's exactly how I feel. Especially as the post is getting likes and replies.

I'm not sure he could claim that though because there was no accident. I can only think the front of my car was just very close and looked like it was touching his and he must be very precious about his car?

Not sure if there is CCTV covering this patch of carpark either, but it certainly wouldn't show me bashing in to his car or anything.

I'm still in two minds whether I did the right thing. In my mind I did the safest thing I felt at the time but with hindsight...I don't know? It was just tricky it being a man and me being alone I think.

OP posts:
OldJohn · 07/04/2026 23:30

As a nan K can fully understand why you were frightened by husband irrational behaviour.
I think you should go to your local police station and report it to protect yourself against that horrible man.

Needspaceforlego · 07/04/2026 23:25

One bit of me would want to reply.
The logical bit of me would want to stay quiet.
I would be half tempted to involve the police incase he tries to claim you left the scene of an accident