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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School as child care

876 replies

Differentforgirls · 07/04/2026 18:45

From another thread.

A poster said that state schools are there for helping parents to work. Therefore teachers are childminders. Teachers!

I think schools are there to educate our children and, though the staff go above and beyond these days, that is their primary function.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Newusername0 · 12/04/2026 21:06

Differentforgirls · 12/04/2026 20:53

No. I worked part time in the office and had my husband and parents there when I was at work.

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So you weren’t actually looking after your children then were you? You were taking advantage of your poor MIL, who probably had other things to be doing but you guilt tripped her. Where was your FIL/Dad? I bet you didn’t expect them to do childcare did you.

Original poster
Differentforgirls · 12/04/2026 21:01

Whenisitmyturntorest · 12/04/2026 20:59

Don't you think every parent does this whilst settling DC in?

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I don’t know every parent.

OP posts:
MyLuckyHelper · 12/04/2026 21:00

This reply has been deleted

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Whenisitmyturntorest · 12/04/2026 20:59

Differentforgirls · 12/04/2026 20:47

I didn’t “use” pre school. I sent both of my children to school nursery for 2 half days a week to get them ready for school. I sat in the parents room for my first as he was a bit wobbly, and dropped off and picked up my second as he loved it. Both knew I was there if they wanted me.

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Don't you think every parent does this whilst settling DC in?

Original poster
Differentforgirls · 12/04/2026 20:57

MyLuckyHelper · 12/04/2026 20:55

Gosh you’re more removed from reality than I thought. If he hurt himself and needed to come home they’d have phoned you. If he cried and said “I want my mum”, you’d have been none the wiser.

Cut the story telling, it’s embarrassing.

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If you’re embarrassed, why are you so invested in this?

OP posts:
MyLuckyHelper · 12/04/2026 20:55

Differentforgirls · 12/04/2026 20:54

They would have phoned me.

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Gosh you’re more removed from reality than I thought. If he hurt himself and needed to come home they’d have phoned you. If he cried and said “I want my mum”, you’d have been none the wiser.

Cut the story telling, it’s embarrassing.

Original poster
Differentforgirls · 12/04/2026 20:54

MyLuckyHelper · 12/04/2026 20:51

You think the nursery would have let him call you if he wanted you?

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They would have phoned me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Differentforgirls · 12/04/2026 20:53

Newusername0 · 12/04/2026 20:36

So you were working full time and looking after children? Probably in a wfh job taking the piss out of your employer. People like you give working parents a bad name!

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No. I worked part time in the office and had my husband and parents there when I was at work.

OP posts:
MyLuckyHelper · 12/04/2026 20:51

Differentforgirls · 12/04/2026 20:50

I was in my house 5 minutes away beside my phone.

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You think the nursery would have let him call you if he wanted you?

Original poster
Differentforgirls · 12/04/2026 20:50

MyLuckyHelper · 12/04/2026 20:49

How were you there for the one you dropped off and picked up? If he’d cried for you you’d have no idea til you got back.

and someone else literally just asked you who looked after them if you didn’t send them to a school nursery and you said “me” 🤯

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I was in my house 5 minutes away beside my phone.

OP posts:
MyLuckyHelper · 12/04/2026 20:49

Differentforgirls · 12/04/2026 20:47

I didn’t “use” pre school. I sent both of my children to school nursery for 2 half days a week to get them ready for school. I sat in the parents room for my first as he was a bit wobbly, and dropped off and picked up my second as he loved it. Both knew I was there if they wanted me.

Show quote history

How were you there for the one you dropped off and picked up? If he’d cried for you you’d have no idea til you got back.

and someone else literally just asked you who looked after them if you didn’t send them to a school nursery and you said “me” 🤯

Original poster
Differentforgirls · 12/04/2026 20:48

takealettermsjones · 12/04/2026 20:37

What is the point of this now? Drag it on so it gets to 40 pages and then - what? Gold star?

Yet here you are…

OP posts:
Original poster
Differentforgirls · 12/04/2026 20:47

Whenisitmyturntorest · 12/04/2026 20:34

And she did use pre school, she said so earlier on the thread. Come on OP, atleast stick to the same story.

I didn’t “use” pre school. I sent both of my children to school nursery for 2 half days a week to get them ready for school. I sat in the parents room for my first as he was a bit wobbly, and dropped off and picked up my second as he loved it. Both knew I was there if they wanted me.

OP posts:
takealettermsjones · 12/04/2026 20:37

What is the point of this now? Drag it on so it gets to 40 pages and then - what? Gold star?

Newusername0 · 12/04/2026 20:36

Differentforgirls · 12/04/2026 20:29

Me.

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So you were working full time and looking after children? Probably in a wfh job taking the piss out of your employer. People like you give working parents a bad name!

Whenisitmyturntorest · 12/04/2026 20:34

And she did use pre school, she said so earlier on the thread. Come on OP, atleast stick to the same story.

Lookayonder · 12/04/2026 20:32

Differentforgirls · 12/04/2026 20:29

Me.

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I thought your dad did two full days and your MIL one half day?

Original poster
Differentforgirls · 12/04/2026 20:29

User1367349 · 12/04/2026 18:01

Oh, so you didn’t choose to use a school nursery at aged 3/4? Interesting choice for someone who values teaching and education.

Presumably either you or someone else cared for your children before reception? Who was it?

Edited
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Me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Differentforgirls · 12/04/2026 20:28

User1367349 · 12/04/2026 19:25

You have P1 which is at a similar age, slightly different cut-offs and school nursery the year before attached to many primary schools.

You failed to answer my questions.

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I didn’t read your questions. By slightly different cut offs do you mean a whole years?

OP posts:
User1367349 · 12/04/2026 19:25

Differentforgirls · 12/04/2026 18:39

We don’t have reception in my country.

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You have P1 which is at a similar age, slightly different cut-offs and school nursery the year before attached to many primary schools.

You failed to answer my questions.

Lookayonder · 12/04/2026 18:42

Differentforgirls · 12/04/2026 15:01

You shouldn’t be paying for the extra food. This was a bugbear of mine when I was an Early Years Team Leader.

I actually contacted the SG about it. And they agreed.

About Grandparents, my dad was 49. I’m 62.

Do you not see that’s a big difference?

Anyway, my OP was about devaluing Education as child care.

Still stand by it despite the personal attacks.

I’m on the boomer “cusp”

I do think your generation has it harder in terms of house buying, wages etc.

But that really wasn’t the point of my OP.

I just don’t think that education should be seen as child care.

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But no one has devalued education.

They've said they value the roles school play and what teachers do while appreciating they can work during these hours.

This is just a fact. I'm struggling to see why you fail to see this.

Could you actually the posts where posters have specifically said they don't value teachers or education as no one else can see this.

Original poster
Differentforgirls · 12/04/2026 18:39

User1367349 · 12/04/2026 18:01

Oh, so you didn’t choose to use a school nursery at aged 3/4? Interesting choice for someone who values teaching and education.

Presumably either you or someone else cared for your children before reception? Who was it?

Edited
Show quote history

We don’t have reception in my country.

OP posts:
User1367349 · 12/04/2026 18:01

Differentforgirls · 12/04/2026 14:23

I got zero.

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Oh, so you didn’t choose to use a school nursery at aged 3/4? Interesting choice for someone who values teaching and education.

Presumably either you or someone else cared for your children before reception? Who was it?

MrsOni · 12/04/2026 16:51

This reply has been deleted

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rainbowsandraspberrygin · 12/04/2026 15:05

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 12/04/2026 14:24

Not everyone on this thread has young children.
I certainly didn’t get free childcare from 9 months.

And what exactly are we supposed to feel guilty about?

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We didn’t either.