AIBU to be astounded at people’s shamelessness?

I find plenty of people of all ages behave unsociable, not just younger people.

Im amazed at the type of stuff people discuss (loudly) on the phone on the train including personal details, medical problems etc

There were people in their mid 40s doing this?!?!?

Humanity is doomed.

I'm not condoning behaviour but people were walking round with stereos the size of washing machines on their shoulders in the 70s/80s. It's certainly nothing new that people can be inconsiderate.

Noise pollution is also certainly down to perception. I would much prefer to listen to teenagers music than the details of a hospital appointment talked about by pensioners

Or Schoenberg.

I trace it back to around the 2010s. First tablets being released and kids allowed to game on them sans headphones. They are becoming adults now brought up to be inconsiderate with their devices.

I hear you, I commute by train 5 days a week and I'm a scaredy cat quite passive about confronting people or speaking up. But several times a week i end up moving seats, or just standing for the rest of the journey, because I cant deal with people having noisy speaker phone conversations, listening to things without headphones as well as listening to shitty headphones where you can hear about 70% volume through the headphones.
My train route has really patchy reception ...anyone who travels regularly would know this, but the number of people trying to have a conversation lasting the full journey and having to repeat the same thing 4 times. Its so tedious.

See also people being oblivious (or faux oblivious) about their bags/belongings taking up seats.

I wish I had the confidence to join in peoples conversations, or when they say "can you still hear me?" For the 4th time, answer "unfortunately yes!"

I find that joining in the conversation makes them shut up, if they're playing music ask them who it is and are they any good or watch the videos over their shoulder and make suitable comments...

DH and I were having lunch in a restaurant a little while ago, we could hear some very annoying plinky plinky noises, assumed it was a child with a tablet or something; DH asked the waitress if she would ask the parents to turn the noise down as it was spoiling our lunch. She replied that it wasn't a child, but a man sitting in the bar area waiting for his table. So asked her to speak to him, her response was that she didn't think they were allowed to ask him to turn the noise down. Until we stated that if she didn't we would walk out immediately, she managed to find someone to say something to him, and I heard him apologise.

this is why i hate using public transport.
its a real shame because as a child I was told to be considerate and i also insisted that my now grown up dc do the same .
how has this come about culturally?
My dc was in Japan recently and its seen , in some areas, to be very rude to talk on th e phone in public! Good for them .

YANBU at all

peiple are awful, and seem to be worse on trains and in public spaces than anywhere else

yep, my blood boils 🙄 I just feel like I’m so old now that I can’t even understand how it happens 😅 I’ve had to readjust my expectations and buy noise cancelling headphones. I fear this is a lost battle..

My son comes in handy in these situations as he repeats what people say or sings along. Then I get glared at. Well if you’re having a private conversation in public don’t get annoyed if people listen.

It is incredibly rude. If we all did it there’d be so much noise.

I was on a train recently when a young couple got on. The woman was watching something on her phone at a high volume. The man had his muddy shoes on the opposite seat. The guard came round and they had no tickets, so while he was selling them their tickets, I thought he'd tell the man to get his feet off the seat, but he didn't. The rest of the journey was filled with the young man shouting "I'm dying for a shit" "Is there a toilet on here? Can you shit in it?" while the woman giggled like he was saying something so cute. Not an ounce of self-awareness between them.

I do it with a death stare and even the chavs either stop or go sit away from everyone 😂

It's not just young people though. The was a lady in the same hospital bay as my mum. It was a geriatric ward. She was watching videos with the loud sound and accompanying swear words. She's got asked several times to turn it down. Her family eventually brought her some headphones but was a few days.

Oh give over 🙄

I think it's started again because of the shift to video. You open up your phone to watch some Netflix for half an hour, in go the headphones. You idly scroll an app with a short video that pops up, and you realise you need sound; it's a faff to get the headphones out for a short. Then of course you stay scrolling videos.

it's weird isn't it, I remember when I was a teen absolutely everything was mortifying, I was in a state of constant awkwardness and self-consciousness. I wouldn't have danced around my bedroom with my closest friends, let alone in public and then filming it for strangers!

Missing the point entirely (sigh). It could be ANY gender of human. And yes, anyone who uses public transport or when in a public space, proceeds to speak loudly or play loud music or listen to a podcast loudly, without considering the others around them, ought to be ASHAMED of themselves.

She will have posted a TikTok about you and how your attack on her has triggered her anxiety.

Same on my train yesterday, multiple people watching videos out loud and some people holding phone conversations on speaker phone. It's unbearable. I think public transport companies are being absolute dicks about this. A simple sign reminding people to use headphones and not be a public nuisance would make a fair bit of difference and make it easier for people objecting to point at a sign and ask them to adhere to it. If they can have signs about feet on the seats and behaviour towards staff and endless signs about fare dodging then they can have a sign asking people to stop making their shit transport service even shitter.

The quiet carriage doesn't even exist any more.

Shame is a good thing. It's how we enforce societal rules without resorting to the law. It's how societies self-organise without resorting to authority figures. Once people become shameless the only way to enforce rules is to use the law. Would you rather a person be shamed into behaving properly, or be arrested and tried?

I've shouted goodbye to the person on the other end of the speakerphone before now. When challenged, I've just said I thought it was a public conversation