Page 5 | AIBU to be astounded at people’s shamelessness?

Dontbeconspicuous · 2026-04-07T17:09:27+00:00

On a train home from work. Girl came and sat next to me (looked around 18-22) started scrolling TikTok at mid-volume. I politely asked “excuse me do you have any headphones?” She said she didn’t so I asked if she would turn the volume down so we didn’t all have to listen. That lasted around 30 seconds before she started again. After another 5-10 minutes I asked again, “excuse me could you turn the volume down so we don’t all have to hear it”, she just looked at me blankly, made a quick phone call then carried on scrolling at an even louder volume. Loads of other people in the carriage but no one said anything. I didn’t bother again as it was now clear what the outcome would be. How have we got to the point where someone can have their antisocial behaviour pointed out to them twice, but just carry on regardless? When did people become so brazen? PS I don’t want to hear “just bring your own headphones” because that doesn’t address the complete lack of respect for other people.

rosycheex · 08/04/2026 17:26

I’ve thought of carrying an indelible ink pen and brushing against them as I pass - petty but 🤷‍♀️

Original poster

Dontbeconspicuous · 08/04/2026 17:22

Dontbeconspicuous · 08/04/2026 16:48

I’m still bemused about what is dramatic about stating it’s noise pollution and antisocial behaviour - please “be honest” and tell me.

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Sorry @ByQuaintAzureWasp, thought I was replying to the other poster!

OP posts:

Original poster

Dontbeconspicuous · 08/04/2026 16:48

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 08/04/2026 16:17

Its called "being honest"

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I’m still bemused about what is dramatic about stating it’s noise pollution and antisocial behaviour - please “be honest” and tell me.

OP posts:

rwalker · 08/04/2026 16:34

I’m gutted for you that no one joined in

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 08/04/2026 16:27

Saw a wonderful suggestion on Threads about this yesterday.

Start farting.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 08/04/2026 16:17

Cantbloodyrememberthenameonthread · 08/04/2026 15:15

wow that’s dramatic

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Its called "being honest"

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 08/04/2026 16:15

ilovepixie · 07/04/2026 18:22

Because people these days are self entitled, selfish twats.

Second post nailed it

frozendaisy · 08/04/2026 16:07

Waterdust · 08/04/2026 16:00

Parents dont raise kids into adults anymore, some parents think technology and screens do the job for them.
And this is the results.

What about the adults who are too old to have been raised by technology? Whose fault is it then?

Original poster

Dontbeconspicuous · 08/04/2026 16:04

Cantbloodyrememberthenameonthread · 08/04/2026 15:15

wow that’s dramatic

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Dramatic? In what way?

OP posts:

Waterdust · 08/04/2026 16:00

Parents dont raise kids into adults anymore, some parents think technology and screens do the job for them.
And this is the results.

suburburban · 08/04/2026 15:30

smallglassbottle · 08/04/2026 09:31

Has it got worse since phone manufacturers got rid of the headphone jack? I think everything has to be Bluetooth now. I'm not making excuses, I just wonder if it's contributing to the problem.

Yes I think so

suburburban · 08/04/2026 15:23

Boomboomi · 08/04/2026 13:26

this is why i hate using public transport.
its a real shame because as a child I was told to be considerate and i also insisted that my now grown up dc do the same .
how has this come about culturally?
My dc was in Japan recently and its seen , in some areas, to be very rude to talk on th e phone in public! Good for them .

It is rude

why does everyone else want to hear your call and private information

keep it brief or text

Cantbloodyrememberthenameonthread · 08/04/2026 15:15

Dontbeconspicuous · 08/04/2026 15:08

“It’s not exactly harming anyone to scroll through some TikTok’s is it.”

Er, yes it is - it’s called noise pollution and antisocial behaviour. Trying to seat peacefully or read a book etc is impossible with that constant change in noise going on next to you.

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wow that’s dramatic

newornotnew · 08/04/2026 15:13

5MinuteArgument · 07/04/2026 18:25

Yes, it's the new normal. Just another aspect of modern life that's become 'acceptable'. I occasionally challenge people and they always look astonished! It doesn't bode well for the future.

I think it's not a new attitude, just a new version of an ever-present minority attitude.

Original poster

Dontbeconspicuous · 08/04/2026 15:08

Cantbloodyrememberthenameonthread · 08/04/2026 14:24

Hmm. To be honest, when I visit other countries it seems the norm that people sing, dance, play instruments and basically do whatever they please on public transport. I do feel like as Brit’s were all a bit too “proper” and polite. Maybe it’s a culture shift? It’s not exactly harming anyone to scroll through some TikTok’s is it.

it’s not something I’d do but I wouldn’t dream of asking someone to turn something down. It’s none of my business.

“It’s not exactly harming anyone to scroll through some TikTok’s is it.”

Er, yes it is - it’s called noise pollution and antisocial behaviour. Trying to seat peacefully or read a book etc is impossible with that constant change in noise going on next to you.

OP posts:

tobee · 08/04/2026 14:58

Cantbloodyrememberthenameonthread · 08/04/2026 14:24

Hmm. To be honest, when I visit other countries it seems the norm that people sing, dance, play instruments and basically do whatever they please on public transport. I do feel like as Brit’s were all a bit too “proper” and polite. Maybe it’s a culture shift? It’s not exactly harming anyone to scroll through some TikTok’s is it.

it’s not something I’d do but I wouldn’t dream of asking someone to turn something down. It’s none of my business.

This is such a strange take.

The whole point is the person playing music or videos without headphones - it becomes our business. We are forced to be involved.

I think most people also don’t really enjoy it if someone gets on the tube and starts playing a musical instrument because it’s usually a prelude to being asked for money.

likelysuspect · 08/04/2026 14:33

Itsmetheflamingo · 07/04/2026 18:31

I think shame is a strange description to attach to the behaviour, yes.

seems like there is an epidemic of people wanting women, especially young women, to feel shame.

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I think you should feel shame for coming out with such a load of bullshit

Shame and judgement is what stops people acting in an anti social manner, we are a social species who should check each others behaviour when it negatibely impacts on someone else when it doesnt have to.

Who cares whether its 'young women' or not. Lack of self awareness is not a sex based trait and should be called out each and every time.

Society is up shit street because of total wankers like OP describes and the people that seem to think its dreadful to criticise them

RaraRachael · 08/04/2026 14:27

I was on a one hour bus journey yesterday. Two women behind both having separate calls out loud for the entire journey.

Cantbloodyrememberthenameonthread · 08/04/2026 14:24

Hmm. To be honest, when I visit other countries it seems the norm that people sing, dance, play instruments and basically do whatever they please on public transport. I do feel like as Brit’s were all a bit too “proper” and polite. Maybe it’s a culture shift? It’s not exactly harming anyone to scroll through some TikTok’s is it.

it’s not something I’d do but I wouldn’t dream of asking someone to turn something down. It’s none of my business.

Ochtawa · 08/04/2026 14:24

Smartphones have altered human behaviour. They've been around for less than twenty years but no one behaves the same in public as they used to. Not looking where they're going, feeling that a public space is their own personal space because they're so cocooned into their phone hence playing personal media/conducting personal business in public, seeing the world as a succession of potential phone camera pictures with other people as clutter on the viewfinder - queueing for selfies in a crowded place in order to have a picture with no one else visible - while being actually surrounded by people! - requiring them to alter their physical world location for the sake of the smartphone! We're all sociopathic morons now.

nextchapterplease · 08/04/2026 14:13

We were subjected to this on holiday last summer - multiple times by different groups . So annoying when you are lying peacefully by a pool with a book and then get polluted by other peoples phones. We had to listen to multiple people describing the resort , their journey , their dinner , holding phones up to show people the view or the pool, hogging a scenic spot with their Instagram shoot, giving instructions to the dog sitters etc on and on and on they go… ignorant and oblivious!

AgentPidge · 08/04/2026 14:01

Summergarden · 08/04/2026 08:08

I’ve experienced the same and don’t know how people have the nerve to be so blatantly inconsiderate of others in contained spaces like buses and trains.

Even worse, this sense of entitlement extends to the perceived right to just drop litter anywhere. There’s a litter epidemic in much of the UK, despite there being more rubbish bins than ever before in my town at least. I do regular litter picks of my local area and it’s depressing to see how many people just drop their empty drinks bottles and other rubbish as they walk even if a bin is in sight.

There was a recent survey in which one fifth of the people asked said they would chuck stuff out of the car. Presumably it depends on who you ask - I can't see one fifth of my crafts group saying that. But it is really depressing. So much rubbish eventually ends up in the sea.

Original poster

Dontbeconspicuous · 08/04/2026 13:55

Yeseyeam · 08/04/2026 13:45

Trains used to be noisy places. Late 70's/early 80's I used to commute to London and the carriages would be buzzing with people chatting away to each other, laughing, exclaiming, it was quite a social event. Then we got easily accessible internet and social media and everything went quiet. Everyone hunched over their phones in a world of their own. I guess the fact that streaming no longer costs a fortune, and phones have massive storage, would be the reasons why we now have so many people watching their screens with sound on?

Other people conversing with each other is completely different - much easier to tune out and impossible to do silently.
Constant scrolling is a non-stop assault on your audio senses - different volume levels, music or none, screaming/screeching etc changing every few seconds and most crucially - it could be listened to privately.

OP posts:

Lippyblippy · 08/04/2026 13:53

Pinnacles · 07/04/2026 19:03

The only thing you can do is play Beethoven very loudly on your own phone.

Or … Tie a Yellow Ribbon around the Old Oak Tree’. Loudly. On loop. And sing along.

Yeseyeam · 08/04/2026 13:45

Trains used to be noisy places. Late 70's/early 80's I used to commute to London and the carriages would be buzzing with people chatting away to each other, laughing, exclaiming, it was quite a social event. Then we got easily accessible internet and social media and everything went quiet. Everyone hunched over their phones in a world of their own. I guess the fact that streaming no longer costs a fortune, and phones have massive storage, would be the reasons why we now have so many people watching their screens with sound on?