AIBU to be astounded at people’s shamelessness?

I think this is an interesting point. Especially in comparison to other levels of conversation / activity on a busy train. It’s really subjective isn’t it - wouldn’t bother me really but might someone else. And I always find that people who didn’t grow up with phones have the most to say about this particular activity.

a few weeks back I was in a shopping centre trying to find this play cafe DC was invited to for her friends birthday. It’s a huge shopping centre, we were already running late for a 2h slot so I was frantically googling which way to go. This couple loudly and passive aggressively said in to the air “THESE PEOPLE ALWAYS ON THEIR PHONES, CAN’T JUST LIVE IN THE REAL WORLD” or something to that account. I just felt rage go over me - you have NO idea what I’m doing but feel it’s your place to judge.

Same with watching mindless videos on the train - maybe someone is just trying to distract themselves from whatever is going on in life, do they automatically have to be labelled?

^^ Totally this!

i do t think it’s a bad thing that if we threaten other people we get arrested.

Asking people not to play amplified sound from their phone in a public space is not threatening anyone.

TBH retaliating by playing ‘better’ music isn’t sensible either.

Yes.

I mean Im just being my true self. And if my true self happens to be an arsehole, well you just have to accept me for that and include me and welcome me and enjoy me being around you and if you dont thats not nice.

I fail to see what feminism has got to do with this topic?

Are you honestly saying that posters would feel more annoyed by a young women being rude and inconsiderate on public transport than a young man?

What nonsense!

I am completely with op here. Any person, whatever their sex, viewing their phone with the volume up, in a public space, and then deliberately turning it up even louder when challenged, is utterly shameless eg without shame or guilt, or even acknowledgment that their behaviour is really poor.

I don’t really blame the youth though. They have been brought up in a world that constantly tells them “be the best you”, “have strong boundaries”, “be kind to yourself” “practice self care”, “do these five things to make you stronger, fitter, more organised, more beautiful” which is all fine save for the fact that no one talks any more about how one should behave in relation to others or the wider community. And how the comfort and respect of others is just as important as your own.

Talking to people loudly on speakerphone on public transport is definitely anti social behaviour. It’s sadly becoming normalised but it shouldn’t. Why is it ok to inflict a private conversation on others often at deafening volume.

I’m afraid I have to disagree. Don’t get me wrong I’m not a fan of it either but there are plenty conversations and other forms of noise on public transport that I’m not a fan of either and I think these are things that we have to accept when using it. Sorry OP much as I do sympathise with you I think you need to be more tolerant of other users and how they like to pass time on their journey.

I feel torn here because I can understand how people find this irritating but if the volume is no louder than what it would be when 2 people having a conversation then I don’t really think it is a problem. Yes ideally she would use headphones but if she didn’t have any and the volume wasn’t obnoxiously loud then then I don’t really think it’ can be classed at antisocial behaviour unless you are in a quiet carriage

Sounds like absolute hell.

I agree @Dontbeconspicuous - it’s v rude behaviour and so inconsiderate.
I went into a labelled quiet room at an airport recently for some peace with my DD, only to have a group of around 30 school kids on a trip come in and start talking, singing, walking in and out banging doors - even after I pointed out it was a quiet room.

it’s so annoying but we are made to be the unreasonable ones for pointing it out!

There are already (some) posters asking people to use headphones. Doesn’t seem to help. I find it extraordinary. When I’ve asked someone to turn it down I get ‘mad old bitch’. (Yes I am over 50)

Stocks/pillory for people who do this is a superb idea. I politely ask people to please use headphones, the only people who've reacted badly to me asking are the older ones!

Its time to reintroduce the stocks for bus and train chavs

😆

i drove my van to the top
of a hill today, always been a quiet spot for the last 40 years I’ve been going.
chair out, kettle on and relax in the sun. 2 cars pull up, 8 people get out shouting and screaming. Put the music on fill
blast and dance around the car park.
Man gets out from his van in the corner, asks them to turn it down, then starts waving a knife around. 2 cars leave, man continues cooking. I am shocked,WTAF

You were a bit unreasonable to tackle her about TikTok. Was it really affecting you so much that you needed to do that? Would you have done the same to a young man or would you have found some way to endure the trip, perhaps gnashing your teeth in silent fury?

Due to a heady mix of frustration and wine I once asked someone if their phone came in other volumes.

We have a designated ‘quiet room’ for breaks at work, I go in and read my book in a comfy chair. The amount of people who ignore the sign to watch TikTok, have phone calls or loudly eat crisps is astounding.

I think it was always thus but the difference now is people won't call it out. If everyone nearby had backed you up OP she would have stopped. No one is brazen enough to stand up to an angry mob. We are all afraid these days and our fear empowers entitled arseholes.

I don’t think it’s just young adults who’ve been raised with technology. I’ve noticed older people doing this.
I feel like there are just selfish twats in all walks of life, and as soon as they got a whiff that they could get away with their inconsiderate behaviour in public they took advantage of the opportunity.

Yes, this. It’s a real shame because I bet that it was annoying for a lot of other people too and OP had already taken the bravest step by being the first to speak up. All they had to do was agree and back her up a little.

The more these selfish irritants realise that they’re in the minority, the more hesitant they’ll be to inflict themselves on everyone in the future.

It’s not a strange description in any way. Most normal people, when having their poor behaviour pointed out would feel ashamed. There’s nothing wrong with wanting people to experience shame. Shame is a societal tool for keeping life’s selfish dickheads from inflicting their inconsiderate behaviour on others.

I can’t believe you tried to turn it into a feminist issue. This is a case of an arrogant “main character” twat who was being inconsiderate to those around her. Or do you think that women (and yes, even young women 😂) aren’t accountable for their own behaviour?
Actually I take it back, I CAN believe it having read some of the shite some people on this site come out with …but it’s still ridiculous.